BEING HALSEY

CHAPTER 73

Kurt lets his eyes rest on the bookcase with the books he most often promised himself to read on his free hours. Some childhood favourites and others from his grandfather's library.

He grabs a new recording from his favourite artist and puts it in the player.

Someone knocks his door.

He felt an irritation close to anger because very few people disturb him in his private room. Before he could answer, the door opened and Marissa walks in, shutting the door sharply behind her and leaning against it.

" What a surprise, Is everything alright?"

" Of course everything is alright, I'm here to discuss something important, about us."

" Oh, can't it wait? maybe tomorrow?"

" No, Kurt, it can't. Not until tomorrow, nor the day after, nor the day after that."

Kurt sighs, " Will it take much time?"

" It depends."

Kurt stares at Marissa then grabs his jacket.

" Let's talk outside."

" Can't we talk here?" Marissa asks.

Kurt shakes his head and opens the door.

" Let's go."

They walk in silence with no intention of breaking the awkward atmosphere. Still slightly annoyed at the ruined evening, Kurt chooses to stay calm.

They reach the small garden and stop walking.

" We can't go on like this. I'm asking you to marry me."

He turns to face her.

" I'm afraid this isn't the right time." Kurt says calmly.

" Ofcourse it's the right time. You're divorced and I'm single."

" I know but...Our relationship was never crossing that bridge."

" Crossing that bridge? Kurt, We became lovers eight years ago, incase you've forgotten."

" I know and I respect and love you. But I never mentioned marriage. I wasn't looking for marriage, one failure is enough."

Marissa scoffs,

" An attractive man, a distinguish surgeon, divorced and eligible. Do you know what eight years mean to me? Eight years of commitment and always supporting you?

Kurt makes sure his voice is calm.

" Marissa, I'm sorry. I'm sure I've been an idiot and unkind but I had no idea you felt like this."

She rolls her eyes.

" I'm not asking for pity, spare me that. I'm not even asking for love. You haven't got it to give. I'm asking for justice, I want marriage. The status of being a wife, I'm thirty two, I don't want to waste my life or my work until I retire."

She looks down at the drying leaves.

" I don't want to end up in a cottage or a one bedded flat when I get old. You know I don't have siblings and I've neglected all my friends just to be with you. I even made peace with my daughter so I could get her blessings."

" I never asked you to sacrifice your life for me. " Kurt answers.

Marissa's eyes water but she looks away.

" In the eight years we've been together, we've never had a holiday together. How often have we been to a show, a film or even dined in a restaurant except one where there'll be no risk of someone seeing us together?" She pauses.

" I want these ordinary companionable things that other people enjoy."

Kurt speaks again, with some sincerity.

" I'm sorry. Obviously I've been selfish and unthinking. I think in time you'll be able to look back at those eight years positively. It's not too late, you're still young and very attractive."

" Are we...are you breaking up with me?"

Marissa breaks into sobs.

She grabs his jacket and leans against him. Kurt could feel the great gasping sobs against him. Taking her by the shoulders, he speaks in a low tone,

" Marissa, don't cry. I'm setting you free."

Marissa draws apart and wipes her face, trying to control her sobs.

" After all this time? Eight years? It's going to end like this?"

He stays quiet, looking at her soaked face.

Marissa stands and fixes her long black coat.

" You'll regret this!" She turns and walks hurriedly inside.

Kurt just sits there silently as the wind howls through the leaves.

***

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