BEING HALSEY

CHAPTER 10

I'm dizzy, i'm crying my eyes out, i'm walking home, I'm talking to myself, I'm sniffing loudly...I'm just Confused.

I feel like someone is clawing at my stomach, my chest, my heart. Like my insides are being ripped from my body.

How could he? After all this time he still has feelings for Khloe. I should have known.

How could my life change so drastically, so quickly? One minute we are fine, the next . . . oh God. It's over.

I want to crawl into bed and disappear. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to think or do anything.

Dave.😭

I clutch my chest. I can't breathe.

This pain hurts like a heartbreak. Well,as if I'd know how a heartbreak feels like, but it's too much.

" HAL"

I freeze.

It's Tray.

I quickly wipe my tears with the back of my hand.

"Are you headed home? Do you have a minute?"

I can't meet his eyes.

"Yeah.Yeah, of course."

As he jogs to catch up, I keep moving forward. He's wearing a black vest and black pants.

"I want to apologize."

Not now. Can't you see i'm dying.

" I'm sorry. I should have asked if you had a boyfriend, I don't know why I didn't ask.I messed up and I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

I'm getting more dizzy.

"And I hope this doesn't make things even weirder," he continues, " can we hang out? If it's okay with you?"

I can hardly think straight.

I nod.

"But I'd understand if you don't want to see me"

"No," I say quickly.

"No?" He's nervous.

He doesn't understand how I mean it.

"I mean . . . we can still hang out." I proceed carefully. "I'd like that."

Tray drops with relief.

"You would?"

He gets closer.

I move forward.

" Wait, have you been crying?"

" NO." I shout and hide my face with a curtain of my thick hair.

He wants to say something but stops.

" I should get going. I'm getting late for dinner."

I turn to walk on the sidewalk but I end up tripping backwards towards him. I fall on his chest.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" I say.

The place where his chest touched mine burns. Every place where his body touched mine feels alive.

Who is this guy?

"It's okay."

" I'm really sorry. I'm just tired."

" It's okay. Really." He smiles softly.

Silence.

I look up and then up again, until I reach his face and ask,