Just Another Lie, Right? [Kleinsen]

•10•

Aw ya bois we finally made it to a double digit number and we still haven't gotten to too much gay.
Sorry I like to write slowly to show character development.
Yes, I am nerd.
Ok enjoy

--

"Awwww! That's so adorable!" Alana said after Evan and I explained our picnic story to Alana at lunch. "Now I kinda wish I were there..."

A bolt of anxiety shot through me when she said that. That's basically what I said to Evan while we were writing emails oh-so long ago. Would Evan just tell Alana "oh yeah this is a lie wanna be connors friend?"

Evan just giggled. "Yeah, it was fun."

Ok, phew. I'm glad Evan isn't stupid.

We sat there for a second before Alana took out a stack of papers and said, "I talked to Mrs. Sawyer about the dance, and she said the best day would probably be close to Halloween-"

"A dress up party!" Evan and I said in union. I looked at him, smiling, and noticed his face was tinted pink just slightly.

Alana gave us disapproving looks before continuing, "Yes, I guess it would be a dress up party. I was thinking October 28th, since that's the Friday before Halloween."

"Why don't we just have it on Halloween?" I said, " Wouldn't that be easier? "

"For us, maybe. For others, no. Fridays are days people can stay up late and get drunk if need-be."

"No one here is 21." Evan said.

I laughed loudly, "As if that's gonna stop anyone."

Evan shrugged and Alana continued. "Anyway, that's about 4 weeks-"

"So basically a month. You can just say 'a month'" I interrupted. 

Alana ignored me, "so we should probably start preparing."

"Alana, Alana, Alana..." I said, shaking my head, "You literally just said that it's about a month from now. A month. Do we really need-"

This time it was Alana's turn to cut me off, "Yes, Jared. If you want it to be the best dress up party ever, then yes. We'll need lots of decorations, snacks, and entertainment."

"Make sure they know it's for the Connor Project." Evan said quickly.

Alana nodded, "Yes, I'll put that on the posters."

I rolled my eyes subtlety, "I guess I'll put it on the website."

"About the website, Jared," Alana said, meeting my eyes, "You should tell our followers that you were one of Connor's friends, too. Don't put Evan in bad light though, he only made a minor mistake by forgetting to include you."

I crossed my arms, "Yeah, sure. Minor."

Alana nodded, "Well, see you guys whenever." She got up, picked up her tray, and walked over to her usual table, where her friends Jay, Kylie, an Vanessa were sitting.

And then it was just me and Evan again.

Evan was looking down at his lunch tray as he ate, trying to not meet my eye. I, on the other hand, do not care whether I'm awkwardly looking at Evan or not. I think he was having a bad hair day; some strands of hair looked fallen out of place or in his face. Or maybe he just didn't care enough to brush it anymore. It didn't matter to me. Either way, it was kinda cute.

If I was honest, (which I never am), I've always thought Evan was a little cute.

"Are you okay?" Evan said, and I realized I've been staring at him for over 30 seconds at this point. 

I nodded and returned to my food.

Yeah, I'm a little gay.

My parents know I'm gay. It was kinda obvious in fifth grade when I started dating Rich. He was funny. And short. Like me. It was a match made in heaven.

Well, at least what heaven was for a fifth grader. We broke up at the end of the year and decided to never speak of it ever again. We still were friends though, and would hang out from time to time. Freshman year, though, he moved to New Jersey.

In middle school, I had a huge celebrity crush on this actor who stared in one of my favorite movies. He was a lot like me, bad sense of humor, awkward smile. Not to mention, freaking adorable.

I had a secret relationship with Dustin at the beginning of freshman year. I started to realize that being gay wasn't really an option in high school. Obviously, since it was secret and all, we didn't hang out much and the relationship ended quickly.

I've never been much of the dating sort of guy. When people asked me about it, I boiled it down to "All of those girls are too clingy." Because it's not a lie.

I don't like Evan. Not like that. But that won't stop me from thinking he's cute.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, his face concerned. "You usually talk more."

I looked at him and said, "I'm fine." In a tone that probably came off a little ruder than intended.

"Uh ok I was gonna ask you something but it sounds like it's not the right time..." He said.

I waved my hand dismissively and said, "Go ahead. If now's not the time than it'll never be the time."

"Ok... I was wondering.... What do I do with Zoe?"

"Well, as for consent first-"

"Jared!" Evan hissed. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah I do," I said, shrugging, "but it's more fun to joke than it is to be serious."

"Well duh." Evan said, laughing. I smiled.

"Do what you want, I guess. Break up with her if you wanna break up with her. Don't if you don't. Trust your inner voice." I said, trying to be more serious.

"My inner voice is a pile of jumbled screams."

"I guess you just scream at her then." I said shrugging.

I don't know what was so funny about that joke, but Evan bursted out laughing, I felt my stomach jerk. In a good way. With everything happening, with the Connor Project and Evan, I haven't actually heard Evan laugh like that in a long time.

And it made me feel like maybe all of this wasn't just a mistake.

---

Ew ok that was a weird chapter.
Next time it'll be more organized I promise.

Published: 6/21/19
Word Count: 1032