Just Another Lie, Right? [Kleinsen]

•19•

Evan and I walked back to the Murphy's in complete and utter silence. I think we were both burnt out my the amount of crying and motivating talk we did for the last few minutes.

But there was still one thing I couldn't shake.

Ok, that's a lie, there's a lot of things I couldn't shake. But this one thing in particular had me almost stumble into a few lampposts.

Evan had said that he loved me. Multiple times. And it's getting to me, picking at my rotten heart, whispering the same thing over and over, 'he loves you, Jared, he loves you.' As if I could do anything about it! I'm sorry, but I'm just a poor little Senior in highschool who can't keep his life straight! A boy who doesn't even care enough to watch the back of his only close friend! What do I know about love?

Hell, I'm the one who has only had one real relationship! And guess what! Nobody knew! Not a soul! No wonder it ended so quickly!

I'm the one who spent most of middle school crushing on a celebrity! Who does that?

How was I possibility gonna maintain a relationship ever? I'm Jared freaking Kleinman. I don't have a heart.

Turns out, all that sappy talk wasn't over yet.

"Evan?" I said, turning to face him. His face was red, probably from all the crying. He turned to meet my gaze and I said, "Why?"

He looked shocked for a second. "Why... what?"

"Why do you love me?" I started, feeling myself tear up again. God damnit, I'm Jared freaking Kleinman! JARED DOES NOT CRY!

I continued. "I mean, I've been an asshole to you ever since Junior year. It's not like we talk much anymore or anything, and when we do, I only pick on you and hurt you and-"

I couldn't continue. I just couldn't. I don't even know why, but my voice gave in and I stopped talking. Evan was left staring at, looking as confused as I felt.

Why did I have to say all of that?

"Well.." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "You-"

"Evan!" I heard someone cry down the street. It was god-freaking Alana. Leave it up to Alana Beck to ruin a potentially heartwarming moment!

Her gaze shifted to me. "Oh Jared, are you okay?" She asked.

For some reason, I looked at Evan, as if he was the one who could explain my emotions. He gave me an awkward smile and my stomach flipped.

"Oh boy, sure!" I said sarcastically, turning back to Alana.

"His he being sarcastic?" Alana whispered, looking at Evan. He shrugged.

"Anywayyy..." Alana continued, stepping back and looking at both of us. She put her hand in her purse and pulled out a stack of papers, "Found these on Evan's doorstep. Figured they were his. I didn't look at them though." She put the papers in Evan's arms.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to conclude that the papers were the fake emails we meant to give to the Murphys the first time I ate there.

"Eh.. Uh.. Thanks?" Evan said. I could tell he knew what they were too, and he didn't seem particularly happy to have them back.

"Ok and I lied." Alana said suddenly. "I looked at one."

Evan went pink. "O-oh."

"You're so sweet Evan. You really should show one to. If those are all drafts, I bet the final outcome is adorable!" Alana said.

I don't remember writing drafts for any of the letters. I just kinda typed?

"I read draft 7, just FYI." She said as she turned around and started walking away. Half way through her walk though, she turned back around and looked at me. "Oh and I think you were being sarcastic, Jared. If you ever wanna talk--" She did jazzhands, gesturing to herself before continuing to walk away.

"Alana's so nice-" Evan started.

But I cut him off, "What are those papers?"

"U-uh... The Connor Project letters, o-obviously."

I crossed my arms and smirked, "Yeah, definitely. Because I absolutely wrote 7 drafts to the Connor Project letters and printed them all out." I said sarcastically.

"L-look it's none of your business, J-Jared." He was stuttering now, you know what that means, guys.

I slipped one of the papers out from closer to the bottom of the stack and started reading to myself.

"why am i still writing these at 1:27 am?" was the first sentence at the top of the page. The handwriting was obviously Evan's, but it looked a little sloppy, which makes sense since he apparently wrote it at 1:27 am. Under that sentence, he wrote "Draft 21"

Jeez! Whatever this was, Evan wrote at least 21 drafts of it! What are the chances it's just a school essay?

Jared,

Definitely not a school essay.

I don't really know how I'm gonna start this, but I know I want you to read it so...-

Evan snatched the paper out of my hand before a could read more.

"Hey you're lucky that didn't rip!" I said.

Evan giggled awkwardly. "You can read these some other day." His face was still pink.

I sighed, "You just wanna go to the Murphy's, don't you?"

He nodded and we continued walking in silence.

---

This may have been another filler chapter oops.
I know I want this book to end, and I know what the ending is already, I just gotta find a good way to get to that ending with enough gay to satisfy the gay-hungry fandom.

Started: 7/20/19
Published: 7/24/19
Word Count: 945