Ice And Fire

Hardest goodbyes come with tears

It's been two days since we've came back from the trip. We all can't even stop talking about the trip and now very soon Lucas will have to go to his uncle and I'll go to Manhattan.

As each day passes by I could feel my fears becoming real. We leave the same day together.
Even we will board the same flight to New York and from there he goes on to board his second flight and I'm left there alone.

My mom is super excited and over dramatic for me leaving to Manhattan. She is going up and down asking me to pack up things and be less lazy and start being responsible.
In the end I'm going back to the city I shifted from.

We live life in inevitable circles.

My mom was shouting from downstairs and I was lying on my bed, my head on the edge and my hairs falling down and touching the carpet.
My body was very much relaxed now but my mind, was constantly stuck on the thing that it's almost time. I glanced at the wall clock and it was time. I don't want to be late this time.

One last time I went to the spot as planned by me and Lucas.

I walked slowly and a little feeling of uneasiness was inside me. It was a constant feeling, digging inside me.

Lucas was already there. He looked uneasy too.
He hugged me and I sat on the wall.
He stood just in front of me and held my and playingly he matched one hand's finger to another and then counted the lines and all that possible things he could have done with two hands.

"Well keep me updated always and keep calling whenever you have time. Don't waste time on talking either. I'll be busy too." he started speaking in the most lowest and down spirited voice ever.

"Mmm okay" I replied maintaining the tone of the situation.

"Why this has to happen anyways riles?" He asked me, looking straight in my eyes.

His question was piercing my heart because I didn't want to let go of him and in the second place, if I do so it won't be a wise choice.

I've made many blunders throughout my life and I don't want to handle one more.  Especially when it includes him.

I cannot be the reason he couldn't be the person he had dreamt of and have potential of.

"Because it is supposed to happen." I replied.
"Don't you have a solution to this?" he asked hopefully.
"Generally I'm not the one with solutions luc. Also I don't think there is any solution to it." I replied and his face dropped down.

I know what he is expecting me to say. Just because I can doesn't mean I won't.

This one is tough for me.

"Maybe because the fire doesn't want to melt the ice here. Because right the fire has no control over itself. The fire has no control over anything actually. The fire is blazing. The ice needs it's cold environment too." I said it to him trying to explain the situation metaphorically.

He took a minute to gather whatever I said to him and spoke softly "You're right. The fire will melt the ice, if it's not hard enough to take the heat. If it's not covered to not take that level of heat.
If the ice melts into water, it will extinguish the fire slowly. The ice never wanted that to happen. But water won't even consider. Water is new."

Honestly I was amazed by the way he made this reference. The way he put the things together.

Yes if the ice turns into water it will extinguish the fire.
I get it.
If he doesn't pursue the future he wishes to and makes this short termed sacrifice, his real presence will melt.
He won't be the same.
He will fight me, be frustrated and it will affect me as well.
We would be regretting and whining.

I was proud that I took a decision wisely and considering everything.
This time I know he is a little weak but it will be okay.

Five years that's all.

He will be back with me.

He kissed me on my forehead and hugged me. My head was perfectly place on his chest and I could hear it's heartbeats.

Felt like something breaking. Similar to what I feel.
Trying to control his heavy breathing and possibly trying not to cry, I could feel how his body is totally against it.
It hates this feeling.

This is sickening.
"One day, the fire will meet ice again. This time the fire will be controlled and the ice is hard enough not to melt easily. That day the most opposite elements will meet." I stated and just as I said this he started crying.

"I don't want it happen riles. Why don't the the clock turns back? I'm ready to shout it out to everyone. I want to tell everyone that we belong together. We do riles. " he said with his crying voice.

His face was already red and looking him like this, all so weak and broken, it broke me as well.

"I.. I know.. But.. It is what it is. You have to be strong. I won't be able to stay strong if you end up like this luc." I replied as tears were just rolling down. It was uncontrollable.

The were voluntarily flowing down.

"No I'll be strong. One day the fire will meet ice again. I promise." He said.

"I promise too." I replied.

Together we sat there for a little more time and later walked towards our home.

As we reached our destination, he turned towards me and hugged me like always and I could see his eyes were still teary.

"Hardest goodbyes always comes with tears." I said.

He nodded and we went back home. Some things should not be stretched, especially hard times.
How can something so beautiful can cause too much of pain?

The spot has seen all of it.
The roses, the wall where I sit, the trees, the sun, moon and stars, they all have been a constant witness to this. To us.

From the first time we met and he walked me there and me falling in love with him to our fun chats here to me confessing, his jealousy, our secrets, our laughs, our cries,  our decisions, our firsts, our memories, our stories,  our jokes and our temporary end and all this pain.

The spot must be hurting as well.

Why don't we say a little I love you to anyone who you thinks deserves it and you think that they should know.
Anyone.
Sometimes we need to mention it again and again.

Why don't say me an I love you by pressing the small 🌟 button?

I would surely love that!