I wanna tear you apart • Niam

045

It proved to be rather difficult for Liam and Niall to not be in the same room, there was always Niall poking his head through the office, talking to some random coworker or Liam going to get a water bottle at the closest vending machine, and it being coincidentally close Niall's department.

But the next few months were uneventful for them, Liam of course has made great progress career wise and was innovating creations that his bosses praised him for.But although he would come home, the high would eventually die down and he would be left alone, thinking to himself that the blonde he loved again and again was only a couple streets down.

Don't get me wrong, Liam did try, he tried a lot to fill the void.Sleeping with random men and women he would meet at the occasional bar.Have small flings with irrelevant people that wouldn't end up being the same.

Although,he tried to push everything to the back of his head, realizing that if his presence didn't affect Niall, why should his.But whenever he had those lonely nights, stuck by himself in the large home, he couldn't help up imagine what his life could be like if him and Niall were finally able to make it work.

—-
Niall on the opposite end, was more of a mess than Liam was, although he fronted at work that he was fine.Even flirted a bit with Nathaniel, his bosses' assistant, just for the chance that maybe Liam would catch him.

But it never came.

Liam was always busy working , if not he would stare the opposite direction were Niall stood.Everything between them seemed cold and distant.I mean that's the way Liam wanted it, right?

He couldn't think about it for a long period of time before going through his memories and analyzing everything that was spoken between them.

Instead of dwelling on this, Niall focused more on his job, spending his time outside of it speaking hanging around his coworkers.Anything to get him to stop thinking of Liam.

That was until Christmas came along, the office was decorated head to toe with holiday themed decorations.Kaylee bumped into Niall, holding a Santa hat,"Niall, we're doing secret Santa for the holiday party, wanna join?"

"Sure.." Niall paused, he didn't know a lot of people here, but sure enough he wanted to partake in any holiday joy he could find.He reached in the hat, pulling out a small strip of paper.

And as if God didn't hate him enough, Liam Payne was written in bold letter across it.

—-
The night of the Christmas party came, Niall shakily places his gift on the table, closing his eyes as he hoped Liam would like it.He headed off, grabbing a small snack, he had brought Aaron along, practically begging him to come because he hadn't really made a friend at work.

The party was pretty interesting, people and their families came along, playing around and just enjoying being at work without actually having to do work.They had met up with one of Niall's acquaintances and began sparking mildly boring filler conversation.Well that was until their supervisor announced they were gonna open gifts,it wasn't expected for people to open gifts on the spot since there was many employees.So when announcing their Secret  Santa, the pair would hug quickly before the next set was pulled towards the front.

Once Niall was called up, he received his gift from an older lady from a different department."Um" He spoke quietly until he was told to speak up,"My secret Santa was Liam"He said shyly.

Everyone turned to Liam, who was busy joking around with his coworkers,his face grew pale as he notice who got him, he quickly replaced his expression with a fake curled smile.He walked towards the front, giving Niall a brief hug before partaking in his own gift exchange.

Niall deeply breathed as he went up to Aaron, deciding he needed to leave as soon as possible.

——
Niall woke up from a groggy phase, rubbing his eyes as he looked at his phone.3:24 am

The knocking on his front door grew louder, he opened the door, watching as Liam shivered in the cold, his eyes red and tears running down his face as he clutched the gift bag by his chest.

"Liam?"Niall questioned, running his fingers through his hair as he tried at least to look presentable.

Niall has gifted him a basic hoodie, but really he had hidden a small snow globe with a Ferris wheel inside, as well as a framed picture of them holding hands on their first date.The same date where Liam had first asked him to be his boyfriend.

"I don't-I don't know what to say.I don't know why I came here but Niall, I really fucking miss you."Liam brokenly spoke out, clutching the picture frame."I know this hasn't worked out before, but I just came to make sure you knew I'm still holding onto you Niall."

He invited the older man inside, feeling his eyes begin to tear up as Liam flung himself at him, towering over him as he clutched onto the blonde, sobbing into his chest.

"Liam"He spoke softly, rubbing small circles into his back as he silently cried."Please tell me you mean it, please tell me we'll work out this time.I can't lose you again, I can't lose anyone else"He cried out, stumbling as he couldn't carry the weight of Liam as his legs began to tremble.

"I promise I'll do everything I can. "Liam shook his head as he felt Niall pull away, looking up at him.

"Then I will too"

—-
The pair woke up from the uncomfortable sitting position on Niall's couch, they had spent the rest of the night silently crying, holding onto each other as if they were afraid that the next day the other would be gone.

Liam looked out at the sleeping boy, realizing he wasn't a boy anymore, he wasn't the innocent boy he met years ago, he wasn't the boy who blindly believed everything he was told rather he was a man, a well made man, that used his trauma to drive him, to succeed.And although, it hurt him to know that Niall lived through things, most of it being the toxicity of their young love, he grew proud knowing that Niall shaped himself to be a great man.

"Can you stop staring at me?"Niall lowly said, snuggling his face into Liam's chest.

"I can't-"Liam couldn't finish his sentence, being met with the familiar pair of blue eyes he missed seeing daily.

Niall smiled sadly up at him, knowing exactly what Liam was doing because he had done it early.He wondered after all this time, and after all the hatred they once shared for each other , could they really make this work again?

"I know"He spoke softly, barely even audible, "I know we need to sort all this out."

—-
I'm so sorry guys, I highkey thought I wasn't ever gonna finish this bc I'm literally 18 years old now and I'm in college but I find myself wanting to finish the story.
I know most people don't really read fanfics anymore lmao but I guess it more of a personal goal for me to finish haha
Anyways, I'm gonna try and finish this up before my Christmas break is over.So see y'all so hopefully :)

•J