Treachery

Chapter 5: Patience

Riley's p.o.v.

I didn't know how but Ryland knew where the book was... although which book I wasn't sure of?

We had made our way out of the library, and had gone back to my place.

I kept feeling stupid for wanting to tell Ryland how I felt but I couldn't help it.

I cared about him... so much so that I didn't want him to help me find the book but yet... here we were.

I looked down at my floor and bit my lip again, that's the second time today that I bit my lip...

" Riley...? Are you okay?"

I looked back at and starred directly at Ryland's eyes, those same eyes I loved... and I knew then and there that I had to get this off my chest...

"No... no I'm not.." I muttered.

He looked at me, sadness hit him and i could read it all over his face...

I always do good at reading his emotions...

"What's wrong Riley?"

" I just feel bad "

We had made our way to my house and I ran face down on the bed switching the way I was laying on my bed, my feet swinging back and forth almost touching the ground but not exactly touching it yet.

Ryland was on the other side of my bed playing on his phone but stopped and had copied me.

" Riley... you shouldn't feel bad for anythi-"

" YES I SHOULD!" I yelled at him.

Tears began running down my face," Ryland I'm scared I'm gonna fuck up again like I did last time... I'm scared I'm gonna... I'm gonna... lose you again..." that last part came out in a whisper, but surely enough he heard it.

" Riley..."

" I can't do this anymore Ryland... "

I turned to look at him and wrapped my arms around his body, he returned the same and hugged me tightly, one arm around my waist and another parting my hair gently.

We laid there for a short minute the silence burning through my skin.

" Ryland... back at the pool... even though you were drunk... you said you had feelings for me "

I cried even harder then before," W-was...w-was that true...?"

"R-"

"Because ... I-I... I like you Ryland... I... I love you Ryland.... a-and I know that you probably don't remember everything and that it's all my fault that we're in this mess to begin with but..." I took a deep breath," I love you Ryland... and I needed to get that off my chest... before I die again... or something worst happens... "

All those words that left my mouth felt foreign and weird on my tongue.

I felt even stupider for having told him like this.

I was still wrapped around him crying my eyes out even more.

I pulled off and went to leave the door.
" I- I'm s-sorry... I... I should leave..."

I quickly got up off him and went straight to door but he stopped me and grabbed my hand.

" Riley..."

More tears fell from my face...
" Riley... please look at me..."

I couldn't... I didn't want to but... for Ryland I would anything...