Comfort | Peter x Reader

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A.N: I'm sorry I've been so absent! My attention has been glued to Keanu Reeves for a while now, but I almost had an anxiety attack today in my car due to some personal issues so I needed to write something fluffy to cheer myself up. Hope this helps anyone else with anxiety xx

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Anxiety

Summary: Peter doesn't understand why his best friend is acting strange until he corners her one afternoon.

☆★☆★☆

Anxiety is one of those things you can never escape. No matter how fast or how far you run, it's always there. It's a monster that many people carry with them every step of their lives.

Stories told us that monsters were fearsome beasts that lived beneath our beds as children. But I know the truth. They're demons that live inside our heads. Tainting every decision, every thought we make.

I couldn't for the life of me remember when it began. When I first started fearing leaving the house in the wrong clothing, or saying the wrong thing to somebody. When I started feeling all those eyes on me everywhere I went, silently judging me.

Somewhere around my transition to Midtown, probably. My first proper year of high school was like a living hell. Suddenly school wasn't all about our homework or enjoying learning. It was about climbing a stupid social ladder and 'finding your crowd'.

Emphasis was put on clothing, hairstyles, appearances. I never bothered with any of it, keeping all my nerdy shirts and hoodies. As much as I loved them, that was probably the first step I took on the wrong path.

To be myself, I was sacrificing the one thing I wanted more than anything else. Friends.

It didn't take long for them to drop like flies, adopting the new culture of makeup and pretty outfits, easily fitting in amongst our peers and finding new friends. People to replace me.

After all, that's all I was. A placeholder until they found someone better.

From then on, I did my best to stay unattached to others. But if someone came too close, trying to get to know me, suddenly they were part of my life. I built up trust with them, latching onto them since they were my only source of attention and social interaction.

And then one day, they leave. It happens so often, you'd think I'd learn my lesson. But I keep doing it. I keep latching onto people who will never truly stay.

That much was true, for a long time. Up until the first day of 10th grade, when I bumped into a boy outside my new chemistry class. I'd seen him around, but never really gotten to know him before now.

The rest was history. He was kind enough to pick up the books that'd been knocked out my hands, smiling at me with the softest brown eyes I'd ever seen. I'd taken them shyly, offering him a quiet 'thank you' before moving on since he's not going to stay. No one ever will.

But he did. He nabbed the seat next to me in chemistry, the two of us forming somewhat of a friendship. I suddenly had someone to sit with at lunch, and the circle expanded when he introduced me to his best friend Ned.

Try as I did for the next few months, I couldn't stop myself from getting attached to my new way of life. Walking to school, meeting Peter and Ned in the library, spending my lunchtimes with them.

The one thing I barred myself from doing was joining them on any hangouts. No movie nights, building Lego Star Wars kits, or evening study sessions for tests. There was always a piece of me expecting them to get sick of my presence and move on without me.

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