Love Bites; Bullets

Smoke Break

I may not look like the kind of guy you'd see that would have a daily schedule, but I do. I plan to do certain things at certain times of the day and week. And when someone disrupts that, I get very pissed off to say the least. But this time round, nothing else seemed to matter anymore when Casey crept back in. She kept on with the small talk throughout the week and I could care less about that shit. Until one day when she caught me outside.

I was outside in my usual spot in the courtyard to hang out and have one of my daily smokes throughout the School day, and then that girl Casey comes outside while I'm lighting one.
"Hi." She says, while my heart practically skips a beat and the cigarette falls out of my mouth.
"How did you get out here?" She appeared out of nowhere, and literally nobody else stays out there during School hours.
"Well, you were all alone out here and I wanted to know how you were." She seemed to try and plaster on that same damn smile, but kept her focus on the ground instead of me.
"I'm.. Fine, what's wrong with you?" I was confused because she was talking to me at my own spot, the only spot I could get away from everyone.
"Nothings wrong! Why would you assume something's wrong?" I don't know Casey, maybe it's because you're invading my personal space! Is what I wanted to say.
"Because, no one ever comes out here.. Alone." Instead of blowing up on her, I just confessed my truest feelings for no reason at all.
"You do!" She says while smiling, and I knew she was making fun of me so I got quiet.
"Oh no! That's not what I meant!" She felt the need to correct herself?
"What did you mean? You shouldn't be out here.." I buttoned up my jacket realizing that my chest was exposed, because I didn't have any clean shirts. Because I was so irritated with her in my comfort zone, I decided to bring out my second language; sarcasm.
"Why not?" She asked.
"You could get fucking harassed!" I wasn't gonna lie, if she was caught with me then she definitely would. But all of the sudden I cared enough for her to know that? What's with that?
"How?" I guess I haven't shaken enough sense into her yet.
"If people see you alone with me they'll be talking and then we'll both get beat up.." I decided to lean in closer and whisper this instead. But I pause, and light another cigarette.
"I'm not afraid though.." I exhale, and suddenly felt the need to tell her that to sort of impress her somehow.
"Why should I be afraid?" She drops her bag on the ground in front of me.
"Because, you've never taken a punch before." I chuckled because I was just playing sarcasm while also assuming, because it's my super power in emotional self-defense.
"That's.. Not true, exactly." She looked very anxious all of the sudden.
"How so?" I sarcastically giggle a last time because apparently at one point I couldn't take a hint neither.
"My father was quite fond of the bottle when I was little.." After a few sighs, this got me thinking. I can honestly relate to her in some way because my dad also was and is a heavy drinker.
"Your old man?" I am in shock honestly.
"Yes, my old man." She looked so awkward and.. Cute.
"I am quite fond of the bottle as well but uh, Yeah umm.." I wanted to say it so badly I really did, but instead I took another drag while shaking my head.
"I like to get back at people who deserve it." I said that with passion, as my plan came back fresh as fuck in my mind.
"So you smoke, and drink?" She changes the subject, why? I don't fucking know. But the point is, she has her arms crossed now and that made me mad.
"Yeah." I giggle without grinning.
"You threatening me?" I lean in while trying to put on my best front, I still didn't understand what the hell I was doing. But whatever I did must've worked.
"No.." She looks terrified.
"Good! I won't have to do anything that I'll regret." I smile and grab my stuff along with me.

I'd walked away feeling powerful, because I was hoping that this would get rid of her forever. I can't handle these emotions, and it doesnt matter how pretty she was. She was too pretty for me, and shouldn't be around me at the end of the year. Who knows? She could end up in my direct target if I am not careful.