Love Bites; Bullets

Starting the Conversation

As the days went on, I couldn't stop thinking about Ryan. During the days of school, I found myself initiating all the conversations I had with him. The only reason at first was because he was so interesting and fascinating. But until this certain day of the year, we only had small talk.

It was lunch break, and I was with Ivy and Lindsay in the cafeteria when I saw Ryan outside on School grounds smoking a cigarette. He had his hair kept all in his face, but was not wearing a shirt. Just his jacket and pants. Just standing there, pacing around and puffing on that cigarette all by himself.
"Casey!" I hear Lindsay and Ivy yell at the same time towards my direction.
"I'm sorry what?" I say while fidgeting at the table.
"We were just talking about the dates for the musical." Ivy said.
"I'm sorry, I'll be right back." I quickly excuse myself from the girls, and go to find my way outside. I could hear them behind me talking in a confused manner to one another, but I couldn't help myself!

Minutes later, I am outside and he is lighting another cigarette when I made my presence known.
"Hi." I whisper, and he jumps and drops the cigarette out of his mouth while the lighter slowly de-ignites itself.
"How did you get out here?" He says while bending over to pick up the cigarette before shoving it into one of his jacket pockets.
"Well, you were all alone out here and I wanted to know how you were.." I found myself staring at the ground all of the sudden.
"I'm.. Fine, what's wrong with you?" He asks concerned.
"Nothings wrong! Why would you assume something's wrong?" The way he asked that shocked me, as if there would've had to be a strict reason why I would ever approach him is the front he obviously put on to me.
"Because, no one ever comes out here.. Alone." He said ashamed like.
"You do!" I say happily, and he gives me an odd stare.
"Oh no! That's not what I meant!" I immediately correct myself.
"What did you mean? You shouldn't be out here.." He buttons up his jacket.
"Why not?" I ask.
"You could get fucking harassed!" He cries.
"How?" I ask again in a desperate way.
"If people see you alone with me they'll be talking and then we'll both get beat up.." He pauses for a second before putting a new cigarette back in his mouth, and re-ignites the lighter.
"I'm not afraid though." He lights a cigarette and stares into my eyes before exhaling it.
"Why should I be afraid?" I put my bag down.
"Because, you've never taken a punch before." He chuckles to himself while smiling and taking another inhale and exhale.
"That's.. Not true, exactly." I couldn't believe I decided to speak up.
"How so?" He sarcastically says whilst continuing to giggle.
"My father was quite fond of the bottle when I was little.." I hesitate and sigh. Ryan moves a bit closer.
"Your old man?" He smirks in shock.
"Yes, my old man." I say awkwardly.
"I am quite fond of the bottle as well but uh, Yeah umm." He takes another puff while shaking his head.
"I like to get back at people who deserve it." He whispers with passion.
"So you smoke, and drink?" I ask with my arms crossed.
"Yeah." He giggles at me with that same old bad boy physics.
"You threatening me?" He leans in close with a half grin.
"No.." I sigh.
"Good! I won't have to do anything that I'll regret." He smiles and grabs all his belongings to leave.

I sat there for about ten minutes, just absorbing everything that just happened. I don't know what he was trying to accomplish, but once again I felt intimidated yet charmed. Something came over me enough to actually go searching for him. The bell rang, but still I wouldn't move a muscle. But it's not like I skipped class, I could never do that. I was very late, but very much eased with what I might've just completed that lunch period. I've never seen Ryan actually smile, or really act all that confident or anything positive.