Chapter 18

319 13 11

by Bironugget

by Bironugget

Y/n
Leaves. Falling from the branches. Flying through the air. All of them were the most beautiful things I had ever seen. And then I saw me.
There I was, sitting on a high limb, feet dangling in the air. Jump, something told me. And I did.
There was no fight, not even a sign of resistance. That depicted how much I wanted to die. How I wanted death so badly. So badly that I wouldn't even hesitate to jump.
"Ah," I screamed, jolting awake. Around me, machines, all hooked up to me, whirred, nurses' shoes clacked against the ground outside. I was blinded by tye sterile white environment. White walls, white floors, white everything.
"Y/f/n, oh thank goodness, I thought I'd lost you," next thing I knew, Avian was hugging me tightly, as if he let go, I might slip away.
I winced, grumbling as I noticed the tubes in my body. One of them was some sort of sedative. I wanted that one. I wanted to go back to the land of falling leaves. Everything was so peaceful there, my wish granted. Why couldn't I go back to the land of falling leaves?
"Y/n? Are you okay," Avian held me at arms length, staring me in the eye in a concerned manner.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," I lied, gaze darting to the sedative shot. Oh, I needed it. " Can I just have some alone time to process everything please?"
Avian looked suspicious, but he left the room, thank goodness. A few seconds after the door clicked shut, I snatched the shot. I cried out in pain as I stabbed the needle into my arm, pushing the sedative into my blood.
"Y/n, what are you doing?!" a voice screamed at me. But I didn't think about it. I was returning to the land of falling leaves.

I was falling. Slowly, oh so slowly. Painfully slow. But I was falling. I studied the look of peace and happiness on my face. Not a trace of fear or regret.
My body hit the ground hard, crumpling up with blood pouring out of it. I bit my lip. There I lay, lifeless, blood streaming from my broken body. Yet somehow, I was smiling.
Nobody came. Nobody cared. Nobody bothered to check on me. Just as I thought would happen.

"Y/n! You can't do that to us again!" the same voice shouted. Tears sprinted down my cheeks.
"No!" I cried, running my hands through the wild mess which was my hair. "No, no, no! You don't understand."
"N/n, please, tell me what's wrong," it was Justin. He looked a mess. His hair was crazy and knotted. His clothes were crinkled and he looked like he hadn't slept in a long time.
"I was finally at peace. I was free, Justin! Free!" I yelled in his face, the hot tears flooding my features.
"Y/n?" he was giving me that 'are you insane' look. I hated it. Nobody could understand, nobody even cared enough to try and understand.
"How long was I asleep," I asked quietly, changing the topic. He looked startled but answered immediately.
"Six days," Justin said. The poor boy looked like he was about to cry. "Please don't ever do that to me again, N/n. Promise me."
"I-I promise," I barely whispered, not making eye contact. Justin's hand tilted my head up. He smiled at me brightly. His face inched closer to mine with every second.
"Thank you," Justin said, lips ghosting over mine. And then he pulled back. And then he FREAKING PULLED BACK.
"Remind me to never make a promise to you again," I muttered under my breath. Justin didn't seem to hear.
But that didn't matter. Nothing ever did.