You're My Melody

Chapter 32: Jerk

Jaejoong had enough. He spent the whole year wondering what went wrong between the two of them but he never get the answers that he was looking for. Why did she keep running away? Why did she make him believe she loves him then leave afterwards?

The headaches hadn’t left so he decided to stay in the room and rest. Junsu and Yoochun should be somewhere else by now and having fun. He’s not in the mood to have fun especially when his heart is being slowly torn apart into smaller pieces. Every memory of her of every second they spent together is still fresh in his mind. How he wished he could just forget everything.

He heard a knock on the door. He forced himself to get out of bed and see who’s at the door. It could either be Yoochun or Junsu who forget the key. He went to see if he was right.

The face that greeted him was unexpected. “Seohyun?” he said.

“C-can I come in?” she asked stuttering a little. He turned and didn’t say a word but he didn’t shut the door so she guessed she’s welcome to enter.

She didn’t know how to start. It was all too sudden and she didn’t think anything like this would ever happen. She wanted to say ‘I missed you’ but honesty wouldn’t probably work with him now. If she told him she love him how would he ever believe it? After all she left him a year ago without as much as saying goodbye.

“Why are you here?” he asked. The sound of his voice tells her this won’t be easy. "Before that, how did you find me?"

"Yoochun oppa told me you'd be here,” she explained. “I -I wanted to see you."

"And why is that?" He was made to believe that everything is over so why does she have to be here and make him suffer again?

"I-I…" Honestly, she also wonders why. She shouldn’t be with Jaejoong. She decided a year ago that she won’t have anything to do with him anymore. She had a deal with her father and being with him now is something that she shouldn’t be doing. "I honestly don’t know… I was hoping you could tell me."

Jaejoong laughed but there was no humor in it. She’s starting to feel like she made the wrong choice for coming here. She shouldn’t have followed her heart. But since she’s already here, she knew there is no turning back. She might as well take the chance to at least apologize.

‘The next time you apologize, do it exactly like that’, he told her once after a fight they had and then he kissed her so passionately afterwards. She was shaking while slowly crossing the distance between them. It’s as if everything depends on what she was about to do… saving her pride and gaining his forgiveness and love.

Jaejoong was surprised when she suddenly kissed him. It was the first time she initiated a kiss. He missed her alright but it was already over. He’s not willing to start a relationship with someone who keeps running away for reasons he doesn’t even know.

Seohyun was disappointed when she didn’t receive a response from him. It’s clear to her now that she doesn’t mean anything to him anymore.

“What was that all about?” he demanded. It hurts so much that she was incapable of speaking. Tears were threatening to fall from her eyes any minute. "Playing your little games again?" He’s not going to play her games. Never. Maybe it’s time that she plays his. "You want to start over?" When she looked at him with a hopeful face Jaejoong almost laughed. Surely she’s not expecting him to say ‘I love you’ now does she?

"How long?" he asked.

"What?" she was confused.

"How long do you want it to last this time? One day? One week? or maybe a month? Tell me so I can prepare myself.” He was mocking her, she knew.

Forever, she thought. She finally realized this is really a big mistake. He’s no longer the same Jaejoong who loves her so dearly and made her feel special. She wished her feelings for him will also change so she doesn’t have to feel this kind of pain. “I-I shouldn’t have come… I’m sorry… I have to go…” She turned to leave.

“Oh no… not so fast Seohyun… Let’s finish what you started…” He grabbed her arm and made her face him again. “Since it’s obvious that we want the same thing why don’t we play a little game?”

“Oppa, please…” she begged trying to break free.

"Stop pretending Seohyun. I know you want it too…" He was smiling but it doesn’t reach his eyes. His smile is meant to shame her. “This is what you wanted right?" Jaejoong kissed her hard without as much as gentleness. She welcomed it with sweetness and love knowing it will be the last time. God, he was craving for her. Whatever he does doesn’t seem like enough. He wanted more.

He pushed her against the wall and ravished her mouth with his insistent kisses. She kissed him back. When his tongue made its way inside her mouth, she did the same. When he wrapped his arms around her back, she raised her arms to his neck and pulled him closer. She wanted more of him as much as he wanted more of her.

It took him a lot of willpower to stop. Seohyun was near tears but she couldn’t cry now. She only has a little bit of pride left and she doesn’t want to lose it now. Jaejoong made a step back. She dropped her arms, which were draped around his neck earlier, on her sides.

"Goodbye, oppa," seohyun said when he finally let her go. "That’s what I really came here for. I couldn’t say goodbye to you the last time." That’s all she could do to save that little bit of pride left in her. That's not what he wanted to hear though. He wanted her to say she still loves him and she wanted to be with him. He was even willing to have a relationship with her even if it was a lie.

He sighed. Maybe it was all for the best. "Have it your way then," he said.

Seohyun walked towards the door. Jaejoong wished she would look back. He told himself if she did look back he will go after her and stop her from leaving. When she didn’t, he decided it was really over. This time there is no turning back, no second chances. He might as well forget her for good… if that is even possible.

When Seohyun left, Jaejoong couldn’t move. His phone started ringing but he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. But whoever is on the line must be really persistent. On the third ring he decided to pick up.

"Yah! hyung.” It was Changmin’s voice on the other line. It was the first time he called in years so it was a surprise. Other times he would have been so happy but this time he can’t seem to concentrate. But when Changmin finally mentioned something about Seohyun, her father and an agreement he couldn’t believe she agreed to, Jaejoong was in rage and his last words before he dropped the call was, “Hell.”

He ran as fast as he could. He hates himself now more than ever. How could he have not known? Seohyun went to see him because she loves him. God, he was such a jerk.