I had resigned from working with the Curry's a few days after the hospital fiasco. I would most definitely miss the girls but I did something stupid, I mixed business with pleasure and I had to uncomplicate my life before trying to stay in theirs.
I had worked my ass off these last few days to get a fee waiver for my classes. This was my last semester then I could get my first real world job in my field of study. This semester was only three months so I could save my last check and take up Postmates or Uber on the weekends for extra cash.
Today I had a photo shoot for my 21st birthday but I had to pick up my last check first. It would be the last time seeing Steph or the girls for a while.
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- I headed to where my check is usually left which is the mailbox but it wasn't in there today. I knocked on the door, soon after I could hear the pitter patter of little feet, two pairs to be exact.
Steph opened the door, I could tell by the sweatpants. I wasn't looking at him I was greeting the girls.
"I'm here for my last check."
"Come in."
"I actually have to get going. I just came to pick that up, then I'll be on my way."
He looked at me with tired eyes, having a newborn must be tough. He dug in his pocket and handed me a small bundle of bills, way more than was supposed to be there.
"I didn't work this much."
"I know you don't want me around anymore so I just want to make sure you're okay, even from a distance. Just keep it, please."
"It's not that I do-" I held my tongue before speaking again "Did you actually leave her?"
"Sasha-"
"Stephen, I don't want to feel stupid anymore, was any of it true?"
We held a state for a second before he opened his mouth, but the silence felt like ages to me. The silence was the answer I needed, it was the key to everything.
I stepped back off the porch and speedwalked to my car. I had been lied to and used for emotional support. I let my feelings get involved and I was now in love with a married man. - My photoshoot didn't go as planned, I wasn't in the mood for it anymore. I wasn't even excited for my birthday anymore, I just wanted to go home and be by myself. Alone time always gave me time to think and sort things out and I had a feeling sorting out my current situation would take a while.
I could say that I was more mad at myself than Steph. You can't be upset with a clown for being a clown, you had to be upset with yourself for going to the circus.
I let my guard down way lower than I was supposed to with him. Not to mention I lowered the expectations I had set for myself, I'm not talking about not wanting a man with kids or anything like that, I'm talking about giving in to his charm before his marriage was officially over.
If I would've continued with our 'relationship' his wife could've have came back into the picture at any point and it would be up to him to decide between us. And to be honest I didn't like those odds.
"Sasha, get it together." I spoke to myself but out loud.
Although some of the things I was thinking about could've been true, I was still overthinking.
Maybe Steph and I weren't so perfect for each other after all.
