No Control // Wolfstar

Thirty One

Sirius POV

Monday, January 16th

5 days until the full moon

God I can't stand those grimy Slytherins. That greasy nosed git...

I push the door of the dorm open, automatically looking at Remus' bed first. The worst part about hating him is that I don't. I kick off my shoes, falling onto my bed without a second thought. It welcomes me with warm blanket hugs as always, giving me a decent sleep for the next hour until James wakes me.

Something prods me in the back and I lift my head. "What?" I grumble.

"Peter's still asleep," James mumbles incomprehensibly.

Rolling onto my back I can see him clearly. A towel draped loosely around his waist with a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. Toothpaste foams in his mouth, a small drip on his chin. I chuckle lightly, noticing that his glasses are still fogged up from the steam. "Thanks," I tell him. I grab my towel, hurrying to the bathroom before Peter. Last time I waited too long and was stuck waiting outside the door listening to a one man concert of the Weird Sisters latest album.

The water hits my bare chest with a light burn from the heat, running down my body. Dipping my head under the shower head, it feels good. It feels like a million raindrops falling onto my face. Despite the fear of storms most people have, I found them soothing. Something magical and beautiful in the heart of it all. It reminds me of Remus in a way.

Resting my arm against the tiled wall, I lift my face higher to let the water run down my neck. There wasn't a moment I haven't thought about Remus. Just the image of his face brings my erection to life. Cursing, I let my head fall as I reach my hand down to grip around myself. My eyes squeeze shut when I stroke it once, replacing my hand with the image of Remus'.

He's still asleep when I return to the dorm. Lately he's been a wreck - though I'm partly to blame. Peter's awake now, humming a tune to himself while combing his hair out. Mary and him have been dating for a while now. I have to admit, they're kind of cute together. She's very small, length and width and exudes a sweetness, so much so that whenever you're around her you're inclined to be nicer. It's bizarre. Especially to me. But she does Peter good. More than I could with Remus, apparently.

I snatch James' belt since he had taken mine accidentally, searching around for my tie.

"Lily's birthday is coming up," James says. "What should I get her?"

When I look at over at him, I notice Remus is awake. His hair is much like James', sticking up in all sorts of ways like he'd just gotten off a broomstick. "Who cares?" I mutter, tearing my eyes from Remus before he notices.

"I do! Peter?"

Peter shrugs his shoulders. "I got Mary a candle and took her to dinner over the break for her birthday," he says.

"Get her some flowers," Remus suggests.

I stand in front of the mirror and can't help but look in his direction through the reflection. My face stays impassive, not a flinch of emotion to be seen by him. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of know how I felt. That was way too vulnerable.

James says something to do with roses and I scoff. "Or I don't know...lilies?" I reply evidently. Her name was Lily for Merlin's sake! Remus starts to get up and I can't bear the awkwardness to come. "I'll be in the Great Hall." I hastily tighten my tie and grab my robes.

Tuesday, January 17th

4 days until the full moon