No Control // Wolfstar

Thirty

Remus POV

Monday, January 16th

5 days until the full moon

I roll over sluggishly after hours of restless sleep. Dreams slip my memory the moment my eyes open, leaving my mind susceptible to my own thoughts. My worst enemy. I turn my head to the right, curiosity getting the better of me. Latching a finger in the part of my curtains, I pull them aside to catch a glimpse of Sirius' bed. Outside, the sun has barely begun to rise; even the birds haven't woken yet to annoy everybody with their song. His bed is covered but his presence is vacant. I can just...feel it. With further inspection, I notice his wand is missing from the nightstand; he always keeps it in the same spot every night.

Sneaking out, yet again. He seemed to be doing it more often. Not that I care. Rolling over again, I lift the covers to completely bury myself underneath. The complete darkness consumes me, lulling me to sleep.

Voices speaking echo their way into my mind after what feels like only minutes of sleep. Sitting up, I draw my curtains to see the boys up and roaming the dorm. Sirius is back in the dorm, his hair damp and pulled up into a bun.

"Lily's birthday is coming up," James says as he buttons up his white collared shirt, breaking me away from my thoughts. "What should I get her?"

"Who cares?" Sirius mutters in search of his tie. My eyes are drawn to him. We haven't spoken, albeit the few times to make James and Peter less uncomfortable, since that day.

"I do! Peter?"

Peter shrugs his shoulders. "I got Mary a candle and took her to dinner over the break for her birthday," he says.

"Get her some flowers," I suggest.

Sirius shoots me a look through the reflection of the mirror. It's unreadable. His eyes are shielded like the first time we spoke. I can't seem to figure out anything he's feeling.

James nods, taking mental notes. "Like roses?" he asks.

"Or I don't know...lilies?" Sirius says looping the knot in his tie. He even looks good when he's doing something as simple as tying a piece of fabric. I push away my covers, and just before my feet hit the floor Sirius announces, "I'll be in the Great Hall." He grabs his robe laying over his trunk and walks out of the room.

Tuesday, January 17th

4 days until the full moon

Sirius is already sitting at the Potions table when I walk in. His hair curtains around his face as he sketches in the margins of his book. Thin arms wrap around my waist from behind and I jump slightly. Lifting my arms I catch a glimpse of blonde hair and relax. "Hey Abigail," I say keeping an eye across the room on Sirius. He hasn't looked up.

"Hi baby," she coos. I grimace at the nickname but don't show it when she comes around to face me. "Do you want to do something after class?"

"Uh sure?"

"Great!"

Detaching herself from me, I make my way over to my table. Lily is talking to Marlene at the table next over and Sirius is still doodling. When I place my things down, his eyes shift over to me but he doesn't say anything at all. It's uncomfortably awkward. Not only for us but for everybody. But I can't just let it go. He just doesn't get it...

"Hey guys," James says talking Avery's usual stool in Potions. Lily spins around in her seat, raising an eyebrow at him questioningly.

"James what're you doing?" I ask.