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• Laken Noelle •
"-so he slapped me." I say calmly. I told Jensen the whole entire story. Well almost entire. I left out the part where I told Adam, I've thought about cheating on him with Jensen.
I have calmed down and stopped crying. I guess Jensen just makes me feel better. I don't know why but my whole mood changes when I see him. It's like I need him so I can be happy. Is this what love feels like?
No. I don't love him. I don't even know what love is, let alone feel it toward someone. I can't. Can I? Even if I did, he probably only sees me as a friend. Just a friend.
"I just don't understand how he could hit you? I just don't understand. You deserve so much better, Laken. You're perfect-" "Stop-" I cut him off, "stop saying I'm 'perfect' when I'm obviously not!" I shout, frustratedly.
He rolls his eyes, "Do you see what he's done to you? He's completely brain washed you into thinking your small and not worthy! But you are, L! Why can't you see that!" Why can't I see that? Whats wring with me.
"Why do you even care?" I say curiously. I'm genuinely confused on why he would give a damn about me caring if I'm 'perfect'!? It's honestly so confusing. "I-I just do. You're one of my best-" he pauses, "friends."
Theirs the word. Friends. Best friends. I knew it. I knew he only saw me as a friend. I hate myself for hoping, he liked me even a little bit. Why do I got to be so stupid. Then the tears came again. Not about Adam. But about Jensen, my friend.
"L. Why are you crying?" I look at him, not knowing what to say. How do I tell him, 'I'm crying because I have feelings for you and you only think of me as a friend' I just can't. "It's just everything." I say and continue to cry.
He pulls me closer to him and wraps his arms around me. Which only makes me cry harder, because I'll never get to be wrapped in his arm and be his. Never. Because we're friends. Best friends.
•••
After I calm down a little bit, me and Jensen watch a funny movie. Just to lighten our spirits, I guess. But it's getting pretty late and we have work in the morning. I yawn and look up at Jensen, who is staring down at me.
I give him a smile to show him I'm alright and he lifts his hand and caresses my red cheek. "He isn't good enough for you." He whispers and I nod. "But then who is? I have no one if I break up with him." I say quietly.
"You have me." He whispers back and I smile. My eyes begin to get heavy and I fall asleep before I can respond to him.
• Jensen Ackles •
She fell asleep. In my arms. Damn. She is beautiful. I just don't understand how someone could hurt her? And how can she stay with him?
I would never hurt her. Ever. I couldn't. Ah. I wish she was mine. I wish I could hold her like this every night and watch her sleep. She's so perfect and doesn't even see it.
The look on her face when I called her my best friend was heartbreaking. She looked even more sad then she already was. But, what could that mean? She doesn't like me like that. Right? She hasn't said anything and I've made my feelings for her very clear. At least I think.
Maybe she just isn't interested. She just wants to stay with that abusive boyfriend. Which I just don't understand.
•••
• Laken Noelle •
"Baby. It's time to get up." Wait what? I keep my eyes closed. Did Jensen just call me Baby? No. I'm going crazy. Ah. My eyes flutter open and I see a smiling Jensen still wrapped around me.
We must have fallen asleep on the couch together. "I'm up!" I groan and he laughs. "Come on. I'll make some breakfast before we go to work." He says and I raise my eyebrow. "You cook?" I said and he looks amused. "Yes I can." I laugh. "Good. Because I can't."
I get off his lap and make my way over to the island table and sit down. Man, he's so handsome. He's eyes are so green today. Damn. I wish he was mine.
• Jensen Ackles •
She looks so pretty this morning. She naturally beautiful and doesn't even have to try. Man, I just want to kiss her. I wish she was mine.
