laken noelle ➳ jensen ackles

𝚃𝚠𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎.

• Laken Noelle •

I'm stupid. I ran out on Jensen after he confused his feelings for me. But like I didn't run out him, I'm just going to break up with Adam. I probably should have been more clear on that.

I'm just out of my mind right now. Jensen likes me? He likes me. This is unbelievable. How could someone like him love someone like me? Maybe it's a joke? No. He wouldn't do that. Would he?

I'm currently in a cab on the way back to the apartment. I got to the airport just in time because the plane was about to leave.

I honestly feel really bad for cheating on Adam. I think he deserves so much better than that, I mean he does have his downs but I feel like I'm whats wrong with him. I feel like I'm the one whose pushing him over the edge. So, logically breaking up with him is a wise decision. I just hope it all goes calmly.

I haven't tried to contact Jensen since I left him in the hotel room which still sounds really bad saying it. It was just a heat of the moment thing, I guess. Maybe I was also a little bit scared at the fact that he said he loves me. Actually terrified.

I pull out my phone and nothing. No messages. No miss calls. Nothing. He's probably confused. I have to clear up everything. I look out the window while the phone is up against my ear ringing. Ringing. Ringing.

He didn't answer. Maybe he's on the plane or has his phone off. Maybe. I just hope he doesn't jump to conclusions thinking I chose Adam over him. Which would never happen like ever.

The cab pulls up to the apartment building. It's show time.

•••

I open the door slowly and walk into the living room. "Adam! I'm home." I shout and I hear shuffling from the bedroom. It's 10 am, why isn't he awake yet?

Adam hurriedly walks out of our bedroom and shuts the door behind him. Weird. "Babe? What are you doing here? I thought your flight left an hour ago?" He says nervously. God my head hurts, he's so confusing.

"Um. I took an early flight. Adam, we need to talk-" I immediately stop talking when a blonde woman walks out of the room in nothing but one of Adam's tee shirts. "Laken. I can explain." And I laugh.

I'm actually laughing. I was feeling bad for cheating on him when he was cheating on me? Adam looks confused this time and I just can't stop laughing. "I'm so sorry, Laken. It was a mistake. Please forgive me." He pleads and I stop laughing.

Holy shit. This is so awesome. What's wrong with me? I'm just so relieved that I don't have to cleave the guilt anymore about being with Jensen. And now I can actually be with him.

"It's fine." I say holding in my laugh. "I know that you're in shock and this can be difficult-" I lose it. I'm laughing my ass off. That blonde girl must think I'm a psychopath. But who does he think he is? 'You're in shock'! Haha!

"No. It's fine because I cheated on you too!" I shout and he eyes grow wide. "What? With who?" He shouts and I stop laughing. He's mad, really mad. Why? "Oh please. You already know. It was Jensen, I've cheating on you multiple times with him and I came home early to break up with you're abusive ass!" I yell and a pain hits me in the face.

He punched me. He hit me.

•••

I'm sitting in my car, crying. I have a huge bruise on my eye and it hurts. Maybe I deserved this. I do. I cheated on a emotional and now physical abuser. This was inevitable, why did I think I would just walk away from this?

"This is Jensen. Please leave a message." His voice says through my phone. I cry harder.

I have no where to go. Jensen won't answer my stupid phone calls. His flight should have landed by now. Is he ignoring me? I thought that maybe what he told me was actually true. I'm really starting to think it was all just a lie, a joke.

I just need to get away.

•••

"Oh my god. What happened?" Candice says as I ran up to hug her. I just cry in her arms. "A-adam he um punched me." I whine and she stares at me in shock. "What? Wh-why would he do that?" She says, tearing up.

"It's a long story, C." I say, not really wanting her to know that I'm a cheater. She raises her eyebrow at me and frowns. "L. We tell each other everything or used too." I feel bad. We've lost touch and I do miss her. I really do.

"I'll tell you but you can't get mad at me." I whisper, kinda hoping she doesn't hear me. "I promise." She says and smiles at me reassuringly. I nod.

"Well. Adam hasn't really been the same since the job change and he became, emotionally abusive. Mostly, accusing me of cheating on him with Jensen. Which wasn't true-" I say. "At the time." I whisper and Candice looks confused.

"I grew closer to Jensen and kept denying my feelings for him, until we kissed. And then I accepted that I love him. But I didn't tell Adam because I thought it would crush him and I thought Jensen didn't feel the same way." I breathe. "Then at this convention we were at we kissed again and we admitted our feeling for each other. I ran out because I wanted to break up with Adam. I felt so bad about it. Cheating."

Candice looks kinda disappointed in me and I don't blame her. "You felt bad?" She questions and I laugh a little. "Yeah. I did. Until I got home to tell him and he had another girl in our room. When I told him it's okay because I cheating on him. Bam. Punched right in the face. I got my shit and got out of there as soon as possible." I finish and Candice looks at me with even wider eyes.

"Wow. I wouldn't feel bad either." She laughs and I laugh. "But what about Jensen?" Candice says and I tear up a bit. "Um. He won't answer the phone. He's ignoring me."

"What? Why?" I laugh a little as tears run down already wet cheeks. "I fucked up, C. I ran out after he said he loves me because I wanted to end things with Adam. I didn't explain, I just said 'I have to go to Adam'! What is wrong with me?" What is wrong with me?

"Why won't you just go visit him?" She questions. "I would but he's back in Austin for off season and I don't know where he lives. I can't just ask Gen or Jared, you know." I whisper and Candice hugs me again.

"Just wait. Wait until he comes back and tell him." She smiles and I frown. I can't wait that long. Can I?