laken noelle ➳ jensen ackles

𝙽𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗.

• Laken Noelle •

I want to die. I've done nothing this whole weekend except cry and cry. I just feel like shit. I just miss him. And I have no idea why I do. Why would I miss a guy who lied and cheated. We only were together for what 28 hours? But, I just love him so much. I really thought he'd be the one.

Jensen. I want to forgive him. I really do. But there is this part of me that can't do it. Won't do it. I mean I forgave him for the cheating part but, I can't for the lying.

How are we suppose to have a trusting relationship if he lied the first day we were in it. He looked me straight in the eye and lied. Maybe if it was about anything, but this. Lacy. Ahhh.

I'm currently wrapped in my blanket on the couch, looking like a potato. I do not want to go to work today. For one, I might be told I'm fired for claiming I can stunt and for the obvious, Jay.

What if I just don't show up and I just go back to TVD. I'm sure they would hire me back on, it's not like they killed off my character. But I can't. I know I can't. To much has happened since then. And I can't leave Jensen even after everything that has happened.

I slowly get up from my hibernation state and walk into my bedroom so I can attempt to get ready. I grab random under armor hoodie and some sweat pants. I just want to get this day over with.

•••

I walk into the main office, to talk to Eric about everything that has happened. I knock on the door and I hear a faint 'come in'. I open the door and smile at him and he returns it.

"Laken. How's your head?" He asks sincerely and I nod. "It's good. Haven't had any pain since yesterday." I lie, hoping it makes a difference in any decision he might have made.

"Well that's good. But, unfortunately we can't have any more risks like that. So, no more stunts for you and I mean it! Don't try and ask to do another stunt. Understand?" He says sternly and I sigh in relief. I'm not getting killed off! Yesss!

"I understand." I answer and he smiles. "Good. Now get to hair and makeup, shooting starts in an hour." He reminds me, and I thank him again while walking out the door.

I quickly walk down the hallway, and when I turn the corner I run into a chest. Great. "I'm so sorry." I mutter and look up to see him. Jensen. He looks just as miserable as I do. And I look completely wrecked.

"Laken." He whispers and I feel my eyes fill with tears. No. Not now. I'm not going to cry in front of him again. I look down at my feet and walk around him quickly. "L." I hear him shout, but I don't turn, I don't stop. I just keep going.

I don't even know what to say. What do you say to someone who lied and cheated, but you still love? Because I have no freaking idea.

•••

I look at myself in the mirror, and I'm not me. I just don't feel like it. And I don't know if I'm ready to do this scene with Jensen. We are making out in the Impala and get caught by Sam so, fun!

I hear the door open behind me and I turn around to see, Misha. Thank goodness. "Hey L!" He's being really cheery and it makes me want to punch him in the face. How can he be so happy? "Hey Misha." I smile, we'll attempt to give a convincing smile, but fail.

"L. Whats wrong? Did something happen?" He asks and a tear goes down my cheek. "Um. Yeah. Everything's fine." I try to convince him. I really don't feel like talking about him. "What did he do?" Misha questions, knowing it has to do with Jensen.

He takes a seat next to me and I make eye contact with him through the mirror. I wipe the tear off my cheek and sigh. "He lied to me. Turns out, he never broke up with Lacy, they were still dating when he asked me to be his girlfriend." I whisper and Misha gasps. "What? He wouldn't." I nod, "He did."

Tears. Ah. I'm so tired of crying over this. "Okay. How about this, we forget about Jensen and we go out tonight. We can go drinking? Have some fun?" He asks and it does sound nice. To go out and get drunk, and hopefully forget.

"I'd love to." I smile.

•••

I get into the passenger seat of the Impala and Jensen is already in the drivers seat. I'm not ready at all for this. The things I do for this job. I mentally roll my eyes. "You ready?" Jensen whispers and I look up at him, and give him the 'are you serious look' and he looks away. That's what I thought.

"And Action!" The director yells from behind the camera. It's show time. I look over at him and smile. I scoot over closer and straddle his legs. God. It's only been two days but, I miss this.

I lean in and kiss him slowly. Wanting to saver this moment. And I don't know why, I'm just doing what my 'Maya instincts' are telling me to do. This is just, I don't know.

•••

I down another shot and it's like my millionth one tonight. I don't even know how long I've been here. I've been just drinking and dancing all night long. I'm going to have a killer hangover in the morning.

I feel someone tap my shoulder and I turn around and see Jensen. What is he doing here? How does he know I'm here? "Jay? H-how um did you k-know I was h-here?" I stutter really badly. I laugh it off.

"Misha messaged me and told me you're pretty wasted. I wanted to check and see if you were okay." He says and I roll my eyes. "W-Why you you don't c-care about m-me." I state and he frowns. "I will always care about you, L." And darkness. I'm out.

• Jensen Ackles •

I catch her in my arms and sigh. I did this to her. I caused her so much pain, she had to drink it away. I want to make it up to her so bad. I miss her so much.

It was awful kissing her today, not being ourselves, but our characters. I pick her up carrying her bridal style to my car. Guess I'm taking her home with me.

•••

I lay her in my bed and tuck her in. Man, she is beautiful, even in this state. Absolutely stunning. And her looks aren't even the reason I love her, it's her. Her personality. I adore her.

"Jay." She whines. "Do you need anything?" I question, while pushing the hair out of her face. "Stay with me. Don't leave." She asks and I nod. I climb into bed beside her and she wraps her arms around me. "Night." I whisper. "I love you." She whispers back and it breaks my heart. "I love you." I close my eyes.