Mixtape of Lullabies

Out Of Order by Mary France Buban

"I promise to you to be your lawful husband from richer, for poor, for better and for worst, in sickness and good health till do us part." I can't help but to cry, all my life I've been so in love with this man. He's been my crush, I stalked him and I never thought that he will be my happily ever after. The only thing that I can hold are his promises. After our sweetest vows, the priest declared we are married. He removed my veil and he sealed me his burning love.

After our honeymoon, we live together. We have many times to spend but he is so quite and cold, every time I went to our bed, he is not there. When he went home, he's mind is not with him. He can't feel my presence, I can't feel the love anymore. He change a lot, it's really hard to accept that he is no longer Christian Alvarez, the that I loved.

"Where is my breakfast?!" I immediately ran as fast as I could. I know he is mad and I don't want to get hurt again. It happens repeatedly.

"Sorry, honey I forgot to prepare but wait--" I immediately put the pan into the stove and I immediately prepare his breakfast.

"What? You mean you already forgot your obligation to me, bitch?" He slap me and I burst into tears. I was shock and after he did that, he left me.But I made sure that he'll stay at our house and he promised me he'll never hurt me. He loves me, right? He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. I'm sure. He loves me. We made an oath to be together until the day we die.
"Oh, Christine where is your hideous husband?" I just shrugged at my friend's question, namely Thalia when she coincidentally passed infront of our house. She put the groceries she bought at the table. I'm still thankful to her because she's always there to console me. "He is too busy, you sound like you still don't know that my husband's a workaholic." I can't help but take a deep breath and sigh while I was preparing some refreshments for my friend. "Until when will you defend
your husband?"
"Until I can, Thalia because I love him, I really do. And he promised me that he'll never hurt me."
I said, noticing her roll her eyes after what I said. "Whatever you say,Christine. If there's a prize or
something for being a martyr then maybe you would've won all the prizes. Wake up, girl!" I unknowingly
frowned. It was nearing midnight but Christian's
still not home. Where could he be? Did he eat dinner already? I hope our problem would get resolved soon, I don't like it when we have an unsolved rift between us tonight. I can't take it if he'll get hurt. I was still
looking out tyhe window, been doing it for a long time, hoping to see him come home to my arms but that night, I saw
no signs of him so I opted to sleep the frustration away. The next morning, I woke up without Christian by my side. I can't help but worry about him until
one day I saw him... with another girl. Is that his concubine? 'I hope that girl isn't. I won't be able to take it if my
husband will leave me for another woman. ' I went and confronted them head on, without doubt or any second
thought. "Christian?" I can almost feel my voice break and quiver. And the
world I slowly built, that I protected, shattered infront of me when I noticed the woman's baby bump. By this time, I
know for sure, he is the father of that child. "Let me explain, Christine-" I cut him off mid-sentence as I slapped him across his face. "How could you,
Christian? How could you do this to me?" Tears were now streaming out of my eyes, my vision blurring as they flooded my eyes. I was about to walk
away when he pulled me by the arm, wrapped his arms around my waist and
hugged me. My tears keep rolling in my cheeks as he tried to comfort me, begging for forgiveness. A little later,
he pushed me slightly, looked at me straight in the eye and had the guts to smile at me while wiping my tears away.
"I won't be able to survive without you by my side, Christine, I can't live
without you." He bored his eyes
straight into mine to let me know that
he telling his true feelings.
"But, how about that girl? What about
the child? What are you going to do?" I
fumbled through my words, confused as to what to say. "I will take full responsibility of the child but please, promise me, please don't leave." He
caressed ny cheek.
"I promise, I won't hurt you anymore. I promise, okay?" He kissed me on my forehead, making me sigh in relief. I'll
held on to his promise no matter what happens but as the years went by he slowly changed and was getting more than what he was before, he kept
getting home drunk and wasted and if I can't suffice his wishes, bruises and marks will surely appear on my skin
the next day.
"Christine! Open the goddamn door! You cheating woman!" I immediately hung the laundry and hurriedly went
over to open the door for my beloved husband. I was immediately greeted
with a fuming husband that made me shiver and cover in fear. He suddenly pulled me inside our humble home.
"Where's that man you were cheating with you slut?!" I can smell his alcohol-mixed breath. He used the money I gave him to pay the electricity
bills. I flinched when he gripped my arm harder.
"Christian, you're hurting me." I
mumbled, my voice breaking as I
muttered every syllable but instead of loosening his grip he grabbed my arm
even harder. I can see his face
reddening and smoking with anger.
"Why won't you believe me, Christian? You're the only one that I love, the only one I'll ever consider as my love."
He smirked. "Liar! You think you can fool me you little bitch?" He slapped me, the sound echoing through our house. "What? You still won't admit it huh?"
"I won't be able to admit anything because there's nothing to admit! Christian, please."
"Really huh?" he slapped me again,
and as he slapped me again and again,
I was slapped by the reality that the love between us has ceased to exist. That the love between us wasn't there anymore. I thought.... I held on to his
promise, I held on to his sweet words that seeped into my mind like venom. I
believed him. And now he gve me the reason why I shouldn't have. Now here
I am, helpless against my monster of a husband. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until I can't anymore. He kicked me in the gut and I curled up in pain.
"Christian, please. Stop. I'm begging you, please." my voice quivered. I scrambled and tried to hug his legs
trying to stand up but my own knees gave out. Christian tried to push me away.
"I'm breaking this shit of a relationship, Christine. I'm tired of this. You're crazy."
"Christian, please please please. Don't leave, please. I'm begging you please. I can't... I can't live without you." But
instead of listening to my pleas he kicked me, throwing me across the room.
The sun sank and went up again the scars and bruises screamed deep violet in my skin. The treatment I got after
everything I've done for my husband. I opted to wear a jacket over my shirt to
cover up the bruises.
"Christian, I'm heading out to work okay? Food's in the table! I'll cook your favorite later" He didn't say a word and
just stayed silently in the table, eating.
I let out a deep breath, I just wish
every day was just like this.
I immediately locked him up to assure me that he won't come over to his mistress and went over Thalia's food store. While I was cleaning the tables, I
overheard the customers talking
behind my back.
"Hey you know Chtistian right? Have you heard that he's got another girl in
his clutch now?"
"Oh? Really? And the unlucky girl's name would be?" Out of curiosity I continued to eavesdrop on their conversation.
"You do know Mary Rose right? The college student? Yep, she's the unlucky one." "Oh really? I never would've thought."
"I saw them sucking each other's face in Starbucks."
"Are you sure about that? I don't want an angry Christine trailing after us." "I
think it would be better if she knew the truth though, so that she would
wake up and just break it up with her husband." Confusion. There was nothing but confusion swirling in my mind. Angry? Sad?
I excused myself from work and headed straight home since I'll still cook dinner for my beloved husband and I know for sure that he misses me. Why? Of course, because he loves me. TheThe dinner was oddly quiet with only the sounds of clattering plates echoing through the place the incident earlier flashed back again.
"Christian," he looked up to me. "Who's Mary Rose?" Silence. "I thought I was the only one you love, Christian? You told me you love me, Christian." "Is it still not enough that I killed you
and your bastard of a child?" a vengeful smile formed in my lips.

I remembered the night when I lay helpless in the ground. That day when I proved my love for him. That day when I proved that I can't and won't be
able to live without him. The day I proved my love for him. "Let's end this Christine! You've gone nuts!" Me? Crazy? Maybe I am. Indeed, I am. Since the day you made me realize how important yoy are to me and I will go to any depths just to have you by my side. Killing? No problem. Everything. . I will do everything and anything just to be with you. While our argument ensued, that cheeky bastard child woke up and so I dashed to the kitchen and took a knife. I pulled the child closer and pointed the knife towards his delicate throat.
"If you won't be mine then I guess it would be better to kill this mistake of yours!" "Christine, I'm begging you. Not the child! He didn't do anything! It was my fault, leave the child out of this!" he begged. II vividly saw the desperation and tears forming in his eyes. Tears that I have
long not seen. He kneeled infront of me, begging for the child's life.
"It's too late now, Christian! It's too late now, darling, my patience's now long gone!" Without a second thought I slashed the knife across the child's throat. "You-! You're heartless! I hope your soul won't ever come at peace" I let out a heartily maniacal laugh. At last, at last, at last, the vengeance I longed for. The vengeance I've been dreaming, now finally fulfilled. I stalked over my husband and killed him instantly. II smiled merrily as I remembered my husband's swallow breathe, the blood gushing out, and the color and life of his eyes slowly draining. I slowly crawled over to his dead body and whispered into his ear. "We live happily ever after, after all, Christian!" I shouted as I let out a laugh of my own.