Mixtape of Lullabies

I'll be Here by Aella Althea

--
"Promise me one thing, Franz." I kept on staring at her like she's my precious diamond.
"Yes baby, what do you want?" I held her waist. Panatag ako kapag nakikita ko siyang masaya.
"Don't you ever try to leave me okay? Masasakal talaga kita." I kissed her nose.
"I'll be here, always."
"Hmm, you sure?"
"That's a promise baby."
---
"How cringy! Kawawa naman 'yon. Sa tingin mo mahal na mahal niya yung babae? Pero ba't niya iniwan?" we're done watching a movie at nagsisimula nanaman siyang maging curious.
"Love is sacrifice, Hayacint­h. If you really love someone, you have to set him or her free."
"May point ka naman, Franz. Ang akin lang naman e diba mahal mo? Why do you bother yourself leaving someone you love? P'wede naman ipaglaban 'di ba?"
"Not everyone will stay, Haya my love. Always remember that, even me...I'm not always here by your side." I hugged her tight.
"Huwag ka ngang magsalita ng ganyan. I'm going to be mad at you! I can't afford to lose you!" Niyakap niya ako nang mahigpit.
"That's why I love you."
---
"Haya?" Nagpunta ako sa kwarto niya but there's no Haya inside. Nilibot ko ang buong bahay at wala siya. I tried calling her number pero out of coverage. Akmang lalabas ako nang bigla siyang lumabas mula sa bathroom.
"Why the hell----" Tinakbo ko ang distansya namin at niyakap siya nang mahigpit. Lately, I've been dreaming tragic things about me and Haya. Niyakap ko lang siya at umiyak.
"F-Franz? Are you okay?" I didn't bother myself answering her questions.
---
"Congrats!"
"Congratulations, Haya and Franz!"
"Honeymoon is on!" Ilang beses akong napapangiti dahil sa wakas after years naging asawa ko na rin siya. We rode on the car and I carried my bride as we went to our honeymoon place.
"Wow! Ang ganda dito!" I saw the amusement in her eyes. I love to see those twinkling eyes of her.
"You're the most beautiful, My Hayacinth." I attacked her with my kisses as we made love.
"I love you.' I whispered as I poured my seeds on her.
---
"Buddy!" tawag ko kay Ranz. He's my brother and he was smiling as he stared at me.
"Hey!"
"Kamusta?" Nag-usap kami hanggang sa hindi ko namamalayan na kung ano ano na pala ang nasasabi ko dahil sa epekto ng alak na iniinom namin.
"Bud, kapag ako nawala...please take care of my Hayacinth, okay?"
"Gago ka ba? Kakakasal niyo lang namamaalam ka na agad?"
"Hindi bud, dali na...favor lang naman e."
"Fine."
---
"Gusto ko kasi kapag nagbuntis ako...ikaw ang mag-aalaga samin, ikaw bibili ng cravings ko tapos nandito ka lang palagi."
"Yeah, nandito naman ako lagi a?"
"Alam ko 'yon! Basta 'wag mo talaga akong iiwan. Dami kong napapanood na kung ano-ano. Iniwan yung babae kasi may kabit gano'n."
"You're over reacting again, huh? Do you think that i'll replace you that easily? Nope."
---
Kasalukuyan akong nasa office. Napatingin ako sa relo at napansin na gabi na rin pala. I was supposed to close the door when my phone rang.
"Hello? Who's this?"
"Franz! Pumunta ka dito sa Hospital! Hayacinth's bleeding!" Nagmadali akong tumakbo papunta sa sasakyan ko. Not minding if the door was locked. As I was driving plenty of negative thoughts came on my mind. What happened to her? Umulit nanaman ba? No. Tinodo ko na ang pag-d-drive at bigla nanamang nag-ring ang phone ko. Akmang kukunin ko iyon ngunit nalaglag ito sa baba. Kinuha ko mula sa baba at kinakapa nang 'di nakatingin sa dinadaanan. Nang makuha ko na 'yon ay sumalubong sa akin ang isang truck.
At sa isang iglap,
Naaksidente ako.
---
I woke up feeling dizzy. Napahawak ako sa ulo ko at tumayo. Nang ilibot ko ang aking paningin sa paligid ay napakaraming tao at lahat sila nagkukumpulan sa sasakyan ko. Nang makalakad ako papalapit doon ay nakita ko ang sarili ko. Naliligo ako sa sarili kong dugo.
"W-What the...W-What happened?" tanong ko sa katabi ko ngunit 'di ako nito pinapansin.
"Hello? Nagtatanong ako. Can I borrow your phone? I need to go to the hospital for my wife!" Wala silang narinig. Am I a ghost? I tried to touch them but I ended up crying because I know on myself that I'm already dead. Tumatagos lang ako sa kanila.
"N-No...this isn't fucking happening!"
---
Nakarating ako sa hospital. I need to see my wife. Lumapit ako sa nurse at tinignan ang listahan niya. I saw my wife's name kung kaya't inakyat ko na ang hospital room number niya. Nasa labas palang ako ay rinig ko na ang hagulgol niya.
"I want Franz! Nasaan si Franz? Please, Mama...si Franz. I want to s-see him now." Tumagos ako sa pintuan and saw my girl miserable. I hate seeing her like this.
"Ma! Tawagan mo n-na siya! Please....please! I'm begging you!" Gustong gusto kong punasan yung luha sa mga mata niya. If I could just turn back the time.
"C-Calm down...'nak, papunta­ na si Franz. Tinawagan ko na siya." Baby, I'm here. I walked closer to her. Niyakap ko siya nang mahigpit. Gusto kong punasan lahat ng luhang lumalabas sa kaniyang mata. I cried on her shoulder.
"M-Ma, where's Franz?" Doon lang dumating ang mga doctor. May kung ano silang tinurok kay Haya na dahilan ng pagkawala nito ng malay.
"F-Franz.." The last word he uttered before falling asleep. I watched her sleeping peacefully.
"Anong nangyari sa anak ko, Doc?" Tanong ni Mama sa Doctor.
"She's pregnant, yung nangyari kaninang pagdurugo ay isa lamang senyales na something's stressing her so, please avoid it." Doon ako natupok sa kinauupuan ko. She's pregnant and I'm not there for her. I combed her hair before going to the chapel. I prayed to Him.
"Give me 9 months to be with her please, I badly want to take care of my baby. Lord, please give me one chance. Just one chance. Ayokong iwan siya. I-I'm not yet ready. I'm not going to be ready p-pero...kahit siyam na buwan lang para alagaan siya. Yun lang ang hinihiling ko." I cried and cried until I saw light.
"Anak, pagbibigyan kita. Siyam na buwan at pagkatapos noon ay sasama ka na sa akin sa langit. Papanoorin natin kung gaano kabuting ina ang iyong asawa." Agad akong napatayo at biglang umilaw ang katawan ko. I ran towards Hayacinth's room and I saw her staring at the ceiling blankly.
"Baby?" She cried and cried habang yakap yakap ko siya.
"F-Franz, I've been dreaming that you're dead every night...b-buti nalang hindi totoo...F-Franz. I'm scared...too scared, you promised me that you're going to stay no matter what happens right?" Hindi ko kayang makita siyang nagkakaganito.
"Nope. I'm alive baby. So alive, calm down now,okay? It's bad for our baby."
"B-Baby?"
"You're pregnant."
--
My two months with her was so stressful but worth it. Oras-oras nalang kasi naglilihi siya at nagsusuka. Taking care of her was the best thing I made in my entire life.
"What do you want now?" prente akong nakatitig sa kanya while she's pouting.
"Java apple." I quickly ran to the kitchen and gave her favorite makopa.
"Wala ka na bang gusto?"
"Ikaw."
"Silly."
"What?!" she really looks cute. Kapag wala na ako mamimiss ko 'tong babaeng 'to. Yung misis kong matakaw, misis kong gusto matikman lahat ng pagkain sa mundo at misis kong topakin na akala mo si flash dahil napakabilis magbago ng mood.
--
4 months with her was double trouble. She suddenly missed her parents but we can't go out. Hindi pwede dahil siya lang ang makakakita sa akin. Sasabihin nilang baliw si Haya kapag sinabing buhay ako. Nandito kami sa bahay bakasyunan at pinutol ko ang koneksyon niya sa magulang niya. Lagi kong sinasabi na bawal sa baby ang travel kaya dito lang kami.
"Franz, I miss my parents...hindi ba talaga p'wede?"
"Nope, bawal nga sa baby."
"Bakit naman?"
"Ma-s-stress ka lang sa traffic, Haya."
"Hmp sige, kailan natin sila pwede madalaw?"
"Ewan ko pa." Hindi mo sila dadalawin. Sila ang makakasama mong dalawin ako sa puntod ko, Haya.
---
6 months with her was the best even though sometimes she's as horny and clingy. Alam kong normal sa buntis ang ang paglala ng hormones but I can't make love with her. Alam kong impossible at ayokong gawin.
"Franz...pakyu."
"Ano?"
"I love you." She replied while giggling. I could imagine how beautiful or handsome our baby going to be. Gusto ko pang makita ang mga ngiti at tawa niya kaso napakaimposible. Tatlong buwan nalang at mawawala na akong tuluyan.
---
8 months with her was great. She looks so beautiful kahit na lumalaki na ang tiyan niya. I kissed and kissed her tummy dahil ngayon ko nalang ito magagawa. 1 buwan nalang at mawawala na ako sa tabi niya. I wanted to take care of our babies but I know it's too damn impossible.
"Franz, sing me a song please?" I smiled at her. Pagbibigyan ko na siya dahil ito ang huling beses na kakantahan ko siya.
"Oh I'm in pieces it's tearing me up but I know....A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved....So I'll sing Hallelujah, you were an angel in the shape of my mum....When I fell down you'd be there holding me up.....Spread my wings as I go....And when God takes me back....He'll say Hallelujah, you're home..."
"Iniba mo lyrics eh!" 1 month left nalang baby. Mawawala na ako. God will take me back now. God will take me home.
---
It's now the day. I quickly drove Haya to the nearest hospital bago pa niya ako kunin. She's crying in pain and I'm hurting to see my girl like this.
"F-Franz! Ah!"
"W-Wait..."
"Bilis! Ang s-sakit na!" Nakarating na kami and everyone's looking at my wife. Nagtataka sila dahil parang may nakakaalalay sa asawa ko. I'm her angel. Dumating na ang mga doctor at inasikaso siya. Sumunod lang ako sa kanya sa ER and she's crying kung kaya't hinawakan ko ang kamay niya.
"I'll be here," sambit ko habang umiire na siya.
"I love you...I love you..." Paulit-ulit kong sambit habang nakikita kung gaano kahirap ang pag-ire niya.
"Franz!" huling sigaw niya bago lumabas ang bata but before he took me. I saw my babyboy. He's beautiful. I smiled at my wife and kissed her forehead.
"We made it. You'll be a great mother. I swear." Lumabas na ang liwanag kung kaya't pumunta na ako don. Before I did my last step lumingon ako sa kanya.
"I'll miss you, My Hayacinth...I'll be here."
---
"Do you want to watch her?"
"Please." Ipinakita siya sakin. Nagwawala siya kung kaya naman ay napaiyak nalang ako. I can't afford to see my girl like this please stop now baby. Wala ako jan para punasan ang luha sa mata mo, wala ako jan para pakalmahin ka at wala ako jan para damayan ka.
"Mom! si Franz! Mom, hinatid niya ako dito sa Hospital! Hindi siya patay!"
Ma! Inalagaan niya ako ng siyam na buwan...anong wala na? Buhay pa si Franz...buhay pa siya...na-nararamdam­an ko yon mama!" I cried silently while staring at her. My baby is a mess now.
"Wala na si Franz, Haya. Nine months noong nasugod ka dito naaksidente siya. Car accident as he was heading here."
"Ilabas niyo siya! May anak na kami! In-Inalagaan niya ako! H-Hindi siya patay! Na-Nangako siya sakin! Ano ba naman kayo...hindi ba kayo naaawa samin? Walang daddy ang baby ko...wala siyang daddy." Hindi ko na mapigilan ang pagiging emosyonal. Tinurukan nanaman siya ng Doctor. Napatingin ako sa katabi ko.
"For the last time...please kahit ilang minuto lang...I-I know she needs me." God nodded his head at pagbukas ko ng aking mata ay nakita ko siya. She's staring at the ceiling again blankly.
"Haya...baby.." I ran towards her and hugged her tight.
"S-Sabi na eh! Buhay ka pa! Sila Mama talaga haha n-nagbibiro! Buhay ka pa nga!" She's crying and smiling. Pinunasan ko ang luha niya.
"Sshh. I'll always be here." Tinuro ko ang puso niya.
"H-Huwag mo na ako iiwan a? M-May baby na tayo...Francis pinangalan k-ko...sana paggising ko nasa tabi pa rin kita ha? F-Franz...Mangako ka ha? Walang iwanan please...please...I'­m begging." Gusto kong ipangako sa kanya na hindi ko siya iiwan pero ano tong gagawin ko? I kissed her.
"I-I love you."
"F-Franz...M-Mangako­ ka...mangako ka please naman...'w-wag kang aalis...please..."
"I'll be here...always. I'm going to watch how you're going to be a great mother to our son, I'll watch how you'll teach him everything and I'll watch you...having someone else to take care of the both of you." I cried. Tinatarak ang puso ko ng ilang beses.
"F-Franz! Franz! Anong iba? Ikaw lang! ayo! Tayo ang magpapalaki sa anak natin! Please..wag kang ganyan, Franz...hind­i g-ganyan..." I hugged her for the last time as the doctors went in.
"I fluffed the pillows, made the beds, stacked the chairs up....Folded your nightgowns neatly in a case
Ranz said he'd drive, then put his hand on my cheek....And wiped a tear from the side of my face....I hope that I see the world as you did cause I know
A life with love is a life that's been lived....So I'll sing
Hallelujah, you were an angel in the shape of my mum....When I fell down you'd be there holding me up...." Ang higpit ng hawak niya sa kamay ko tila ba ayaw niya akong pakawalan.
"Spread your wings as you go, when God takes you back.....He'll say Hallelujah, you're home..." Babalik na ako sa kanya. Sorry Haya. I'm sorry.
"Hallelujah, you were an angel in the shape of my mum.....You got to see the person I have become....Spread your wings and I know....That when God took you back, he said Hallelujah you're home..."
"I'll watch how good mother you'll be....I'll be here Baby...I'll always be here because I'm going to be your angel." I stated while the Doctor's injecting someting to her. I saw my Brother Ranz sitting on my place. He's going to replace me now.
"Dad always told me don't you cry when you're down....But mum there's a tear every time that I blink....Oh I'm in pieces it's tearing me up but I know
A heart that's broke is a heart that's been loved..." I turned my back but before I did my last step.
I saw my baby But now someone else is comforting her And that someone Is my brother
--A.A