Salted Wound

Chapter 24 Anastacia

Oct. 9, 2018
I'm in the kitchen cleaning up like every other evening. I'm on washing duty while Estrella puts the dishes away. Other than Estrella's pregnancy, everything has been normal. I still go to school and work, I come home and do homework, then Estrella and I make dinner and wait till mom comes home. We both clean up and go to bed by 10. Just now our conversations have gotten quieter. I've mentioned it's important to decide about the pregnancy quick but she has only pushed the conversation away to avoid it. It's been three weeks since we went to the clinic and Dr. Munoz was right about her symptoms. She's been getting morning sickness like crazy and is always complaining about her headaches.

Mom still hasn't noticed because one, she's been busy lately and has taken a few trips to see Tia Gloria, and two, Strella still isn't showing. The only thing she's been questioning is her morning sickness, but Strella blames it on the bad food they serve at school and she's just been getting some stomach aches. Zamari has also tried talking to her and helping her out, and for some funny reason, she doesn't push him away. She doesn't decide on what she's going to do with the pregnancy either, but she doesn't completely flip the conversation. See Zamari, you're just lucky, I thought to myself.

A knock on the door interrupts my thinking. I turn to Estrella wondering if she's expecting someone. "Expecting someone?"

"Other than this baby," she whispers. "No."

I rinse the dish I have in my hand and dry my hands with a rag and walk to the door. I look through the peephole and see Luis on the other side of the door. I sigh knowing this is either going to be a continuation to our fight or it's going to end it. I've been lucky enough to have a lot on my mind lately that doesn't involve Luis like our mid-terms. But I can't avoid him forever.

I open the door and see Luis in a white polo shirt and jeans. The sun is still up but it's starting to set behind him. His face is blank, so this can go either way.

"Can I help you?" I start, trying to make my voice soft.

"Can we talk? You've been avoiding me for a week now." He responds. I step out of the house and close the door behind me. Estrella doesn't need to hear this.

"I was kind of going for that," I answer. He rolls his eyes and I mimic him. "Are you going to stop being childish?"

He rubs his face with his hand and takes a step back. "Fine. Yes, Ana, I'll let that go. But have you ever even thought of the idea?"

I cross my arms and purse my lips. I've never really been against sex. We're in high school, of course, people are going to start doing it. I stopped judging everyone after I found out an old childhood friend, Liliana, told me she lost her virginity freshman year. But the idea of me having sex feels unnatural. Like I should wait until I feel 100% ready. I don't want to have the fear of knowing that there's a chance that I'm pregnant or somehow caught a disease. I've told Luis this before, but it just doesn't get through his head completely, and I blame it on the fact that he's a guy.

"Jeez, Luis. No, I don't. I've told you before I'm not ready. I already saw what it can do, and I don't want to have two pregnancies in the house," I exclaim, throwing my arms up.

"We'll be completely safe! Nothing will happen," he starts. He moves closer to me and tries to put his hands on my arms and I smack them away.

"No! It's not going to happen. Either you let this shit go or you can find someone else who's willing to make you feel satisfied," I hiss. His eyes go wide.

The only thing I know that scares Luis is the thought of us breaking up. As much as we fight, I know he doesn't want to let me go. I keep him balanced from his anger issues.