Salted Wound

Chapter 43 Zamari- Jan 4, 2019

My head droops lower toward my clasped hands as I watch mom and the doctor talk in whispers at the end of the hall. Mom's arms are crossed across her chest, her sweater pulled tight around her. I already know what they're talking about. Money. The damage to Jade's right leg requires surgery if there's any hope of her walking right again in her lifetime, and the money to pay for that surgery could cover our house payment for the next six months. Maybe more.

Mom nods at something the doctor says, he puts a comforting hand on her shoulder, and they part ways. I stand up, glancing into Jade's room to see her busy with Amari, both of them focused on the coloring books spread over her bed. My twin glances up when she feels my eyes on her, and the heavy understanding of why the doctor pulled mom out of the room resides in her eyes, though the rest of her expression stays neutral for Amari's benefit.

I turn back to mom as she approaches, pausing next to me out of earshot of the other siblings. She blows out a breath and I realize the weight she carries has been showing more and more lately, especially since the crash. It's been almost two weeks, and I know the bills have been piling up. Jade knows it too. When they first brought her in after the crash, unconscious, the whole right side of her body a mess of blood and broken glass, they did emergency surgery, which would have to be paid for eventually. But this new surgery is reconstructive, something we have to figure out how to pay for before they'll go through with it. And the endless new bills had the bags under mom's eyes deepening. The amount of sleep she's been getting lessening as her work hours increase.

"So?" I ask, my own arms crossed, inexplicably mirroring her.

She pushes a curl out of her face as she says quietly. "It's a lot. More than any so far."

I see the hesitation in her eyes, to confide in me. They want to keep me in the dark as well, to protect me like he tries to protect Jade and Amari, warring with the need to talk, to have someone to help carry the burden.

I had already known it would be expensive, but hearing her confirmation cemented in my head that I had to do something to get some money - and quick. I started running through mental options while mom described the surgery, how long Jade would be in physical therapy, how soon she could come home. I finally came across a thought that stopped my mental train in its tracks. Fast money isn't always clean, and the rich bitch Luis is always flashing his car and money around like it doesn't mean anything. As much as I hate the prick, but he might be the only window to getting Jade this surgery.

I open my mouth to ask about paying for it, but mom must sense what I'm about to bring up because she cuts me off before I can say a word.

"It'll get taken care of Zam. It's okay."

I raise a brow.

"Taken care of how exactly?"

She eyes the tiles under our feet, and when she looks back up at me, I grimace at the realization.

"Mom you can't go to him."

"I didn't have to, he's been checking up on her since she got here, he wants to pay for everything."

"Funny, I haven't seen him in there keeping Jade away from the edge when the pain takes over or trying to explain to Amari why she can't stand up, watching her force herself to stay awake to keep the nightmares away," I say sharply.

"Talk to Jade about that." She says in as sharp a tone as mine. "She's the one who won't let him in the door."

That's not what I expected to hear. She's the one who always tries to bridge the gap between him and me, who made excuses for us to see him.

"He's pushing off the move until Jade is better." Mom continues, her voice softer. "No matter what she's still his kid."

"That didn't seem to matter to him two weeks ago," I say, most of my fight leaving me,  bone-deep exhaustion in its place. It's up to me to take care of my family, not the one who left us behind to make his own life. I look into Jade's room again, as my resolve hardens. No way in hell will we be in debt to him when he was ready to abandon us once and for all - still is ready to just leave.

"I know you two have your issues, but let him do this, let him take care of us," Mom says softly. She rubs my back a moment before joining my siblings. The hall seems smaller than it was when I first left Jade's room, the air harder to take in. I turn the opposite direction, pushing the button to summon the elevator, pulling my phone out and messaging Luis through Snapchat as I enter the elevator, giving him my phone number and telling him to call me as soon as he can. I step outside of the hospital into the brisk January air, the fresh air a balm to the sick feeling building in my stomach.