Salted Wound

Chapter 45 Zamari- Jan 14, 2019

"Uno," I say, dropping a card on the growing pile and Jade swears.

She's sitting up, her good leg tucked underneath her, her right leg still immobile under the blanket. The moveable desk that can slide over the bed and act as a food tray of sorts sits between us and has been acting as a game table the last few weeks to keep Jade from throwing herself out the window from boredom. The sunlight filtering in the window is strong enough to see by, and Jade had asked me to turn the lights off. I think the constant fake light of this place is starting to get to her. She doesn't question why I'm here on a Monday morning, and mom hasn't been questioning my sudden increase in absences at school. Not like visiting with Harold is the first thing in my mind right now. Jade's doctor knocks lightly on the door before coming in for his morning visit.

"Hey lady." He says cheerfully, checking the chart at her feet, and writing something on it before he starts his routine check of her leg and midsection, where the worst of her injuries were.

"We're gonna start prepping for surgery pretty soon, Zamari I'm afraid you picked a bad day to miss class." He says, and my brow furrows.

"I thought the surgery had to be paid off beforehand."

He pauses in his examination. "That's something you'll have to take up with your mom." He says, seemingly choosing his words carefully. My jaw clenches. Of course, dad jumped in to play hero, when I'm so close to getting the money she needs.

The doctor keeps checking her out, explaining the pre-surgery process and pretty soon he's kicking me out to get her prepped.

I pull my phone out of my pocket as I get onto the elevator, my jaw still clenched tight enough to ache. I pull out my phone as I leave the hospital, walking toward the nearest bus stop. Mom took the car to work, but the walk was probably a good idea to help clear my head. I pull up Luis' phone number, a twist in my gut as I do so. I swear I'll have an ulcer by the time I'm 19.

It's the middle of the school day, but I doubt he's in class anyway, so I call him. I pull my phone out and make a face when I see his name scroll under my thumb. I hesitate for a moment, but press call after a few seconds.

"What you want Sabian?" He answers after the second ring.

I clench my jaw against the first smartass comment that comes to mind.

"Ima need to speed up this whole money thing, I don't have as much time as I thought, anyway I can get it in advance?"

The other end of the line is quiet for a moment, the only sound cars as they pass by. Finally, he sighs and responds.

"That's putting a lot of faith in you I don't have."

"I'm not doing this because I need some spending cash asshole," I growl. "Surgery is fucking expensive, and I'm already dragged into your shit, give me a real reason why you can't advance the payment."

"Fine." He spits out the word like it tastes bad. "I'll have it for you tomorrow after school, but you can guarantee I'll be collecting your services soon."

It pains me, but I say, "Thank you."

The asshole hangs up and I roll my eyes. I shouldn't have even tried to show manners, God knows he doesn't have any.

The bus ride home is slow, but I don't have a whole lot to do. Homework has piled so high from the amount of time I've missed that there's no point in even trying to catch up. I'll be lucky if I get it done in time for graduation. My phone dings as a message from Ana comes in.

Missed you at school today, when are you coming back?

I swipe to the side, ignoring the message. I can't think about her right now. She's the only one I really want to talk to, the one I want to tell how hard it is seeing Jade like this when she's always been so damn strong, to help me figure out how the hell I'm gonna pay off Luis, what he's going to make me do. But she's not mine, she's dating the asshole I'm in debt to, and I can't make her go through what I've been going through. I can't ask her to do this. By the time I've gotten off the bus at home, my resolve has hardened. I can't let our friendship keep on like it was, I can't ask her to be the one to stand strong for me when she's already doing that for her own sister.

I get in the house and the eerie quiet that has settled over everything makes me shudder. Being home alone used to be treasured because it was rare for the house to be peaceful, but this kind of quiet builds in your soul and makes you feel the need to creep around your own thoughts like corners.

————-

Amari barrels into the kitchen, talking animatedly about the nurse he had talked to last time we visited Jade, how she's not allowed to have real flowers right now, so he decided to learn how to make paper flowers to bring her. I follow him into the kitchen and I'm making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for him when I feel my phone ringing. I pull it out of my pocket, expecting mom, or God forbid the hospital, but I blow out a sigh of relief when it's Ana. My built up resolve wavers slightly at her name, but I force myself not to sound eager when I answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I haven't seen you at all lately, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

There's a pause on the other end.

"Oh, okay well, when are you coming back to school?"

I shrugged even though she can't see me.

"Not sure, I'll be there some this week. Can't guarantee anything, to be honest."

"And the study sessions?" She asks, her voice sounding tight. "You haven't come at all the last like, month. I'm worried about your grades Zam."

"You got enough to worry about, I'm fine."

I hear the frustration building in her voice as she replies.

"Zamari, I'm offering to help you."

"And I'm telling you I don't need it," I reply just as sharply.

"Alright well I got to go, I guess I'll see you around." She says, defeat creeping into her tone and I hate myself for putting it there.

"Yeah bye."

I drop my phone on the table, feeling so damn weary