Ain't No Sharing You

Generational Curse

I sat in Bre's car for over thirty minutes debating if I should take my simple self into the hospital. To say that I was paranoid would be an understatement. Daddy Grant wasn't exactly the type of man that requested your presence with no legitimate reason. I was biting my nails and bobbing my head as I was fought with myself. I prayed to God that this was not a set up. It was dark out and the only thing that I could think was that as soon as I stepped out of that car brandon was going to snatch me up and drag me back home. I had to make Bre cover for me to even get out of Trent's front door.

"Ôkay, God please just let this go well." I prayed as I snatched the keys from the ignition and got out of the car.

The short walk from the car to the hospitals entrance seemed longer than it was because I was constantly looking over my shoulder. Once I entered the hospital I found my way to the sixth floor to Daddy Grant's room. I stood there for a while before with my hand on there before took a deep breath and went on in. Ash was sitting next to his bed just staring at the muted tv. It was one he public access Christian channel with closed caption on.

"Took you long enough. Come sit down." He croaked out from his hospital bed. "Brandon's not here and he's not coming."

With a sympathetic smile Ash said, "it's fine. He really wants to talk to us."

Hesitantly I walked over and sat in the chair next to Ashleigh and bit my lip waiting for him to talk. Right before I could ask any questions he started talking, well quoting scripture.

"Ephesians 5:22 says, wives submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord.'" He coughed and pulled his oxygen mask from his mouth to his forehead.

Neither one of us said anything because it was obvious that we knew what our husbands were doing and it was crystal clear that their father knew too.

"I know what they do because I'm the one that they learned from. Truth is I knew the two of you were weak the first time I met you. Your real weaknesses are my sons. I was taught that you make a woman weak and you keep her that way."

"Daddy Grant with all due respect-" I started when I saw that Ashleigh was crying from what he said.

"Just listen. Yes, I'm a pastor, but before that I was just like my sons. Their mother was a beautiful woman, my sweet Lynn. She was more woman than I was man. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually she was stronger, but I was stronger than her physically. I had to break her down in order for me to lead my household. It started with a slap and first she fought back, but the harder I hit her , the more I hit her she lost her fight. Whatever I said, she did it. I told her to jump, she'd jump until I called it quits." He said and chuckled a bit.

I was a bit disturbed and was wondering exactly where he was going with this. Even with his weak voice I was wondering if he was proud of the monsters he created. I screwed my face at my thoughts as he continued his story.

"As the boys got older I would hit her in front of them because I needed to show them what a man was. Brandon would try to save her from me, but she'd just push him out of the way so that he wouldn't get hit instead of her. The last time I beat her I killed our child." He said and closed his eyes tightly when he heard Ashleigh gasp.

"Oh my God," she said quietly placing her hand over her mouth.

"She never even told me that she was pregnant. There was so much blood. I rushed her to the hospital, but by the time we got there it was too late. She slipped into a deep depression after that and she wasn't the same. She had no more fight in her, her eyes were lifeless. It was until after fifteen years of marriage that I realized that I was weaker at that moment than when we first married."

"Daddy Grant, you need to rest." Ash said wanting to end this conversation.

"One day, about six months after the miscarriage, I came home from work to find my wife dead in our bed. Next to the bed was a glass of wine and three letters addressed to each of us. In the bed was our wedding album along with every "I'm sorry" present I got her. She overdosed on prescription pills. In my letter she said 'she was too weak to leave and too weak to stay'. I hid the letters and told the boys and everyone else that she had an aneurysm. For one year I was depressed and lost. My soulmate was gone and I had two boys to raise." Daddy Grant shifted in the bed and I got up to help him take a few sips of water.

"One day I was driving home from work, it was the day before Brandon's fourteenth birthday and I heard a voice tell me to 'turn around'. I thought I was going crazy because I kept hearing it until I turned around and ended up in front a church that was having bible study. I hadn't been to church in years, but I went in and took a seat in the back. Interesting enough they were talking about healthy marriages. My wife was dead so I had no need for that until I heard the pastor say, 'Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.' He asked the men why would we 'hurt our wives if we wouldn't harm ourselves? Would you punch yourself in the face?' At the point I realized that I didn't love myself so I couldn't have really loved Lynn." He said as tears poured down his face.

"It's like he knew my situation and everything he was saying was meant for me. That night I gave my life to the Lord again and decided that I was going to change. The boys fought it for a while, but they fell in line. I thought I had broken that cycle of violence with them, but the damage was already done. As much as I thought I was molding men, I had created monsters. Even in high school their girlfriends would complain of Brandon and Will hitting them. I talked, I prayed, sent them to counseling and nothing worked."

"They make their own choices," Ash said putting her hair in a bun. "They have to decide to break this curse. The cycle only breaks if they break it."

"Will doesn't love you, Ashleigh. Brandon doesn't loves you, Camille. They don't love themselves."

"I think that they do, but they need a little help."

Just as she started to defend them my phone went off and it was Trent calling. He called five times back to back and each time I sent his to voicemail.

"Again, you're both weak and soon you won't have anymore fight left in you. What is love? Because what you have now is not it. Stop making excuses. You'll get tired, just hope that it's not too late. Grab my bible, Ashleigh and open it up and read what's highlighted."

"All of it?"

"Read."

"I Corinthians 13:4-13 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Just as she finished readings saw that Brandon was calling my phone. I powered it off and listened to Daddy Grant's breathing and beeping machines. He had pulled the oxygen mask over his face. Both Ashleigh and I had tears rolling down our faces as we thought about what she just read.

"We have to go. Get you some rest." I said kissing his cheek. Ash did the same and headed for the door.

Right before we walked out we heard Daddy Grant say, '"don't be too weak to leave, don't be too weak to stay.'"

***Thanks for reading. Comment, vote, share! Please and thank you in advance***

~Beyah