[1] WASTELAND, BABY! | J. GYLLENHAAL ✔️

1.1 you will be found

song of the chapter: you will be found - dear evan hansen

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there were three things Martina Kivi did to fend off a bad day, according to the YouTube channel. first there was a breakfast consisting of pancakes, maple syrup and a tall glass of grape juice. after that she spite cleaned everything possible, which at the moment meant a very small room. and lastly she rewatched a musical.

but this was a different kind of bad day. it was one she couldn't shake off with Disney songs or meticulously cleaning a mirror. there didn't seem to be a protocol for dealing with the anniversary of your mother's death.

"tom, let your aunt know she needs to come in at five thirty for shooting." Jon had been most understanding when she explained the reason for her not coming to set early. he had even let her take the costume for the day home so she only needed to come for hair and make up.

"will do, sir."

Calliope was a fundamental piece of what Marvel had planned for their next movies, they had chosen between tens of actresses for someone who carried the characteristics she had. at the moment Martina felt far away from her character, she felt weak and vulnerable. it didn't help that Cassie had texted her news of Jonas' engagement.

May's friends were all understanding of what she was going through, after all Noora was the mother of their group as much as she was May's. Having known the woman longer than the others, Aaron took it upon himself to call her.

"hey." she sounded like she'd been crying but he was gracious enough to not comment.

"hey." what were you supposed to say in a moment like this? "how are you?"

"better than I thought I would be. I mean, I was doing great, and then I cried a lot during Tangled because of reasons."

Aaron laughed a little because she sounded like a child, though every time their group watched any Disney movie, Martina was the first to start crying.

"okay now give me a proper answer." since he was the closest thing to family she had, he got the job done when it came to making her discuss feelings.

"I'm the same as always I guess. I'll be doing something completely normal then my mind remembers the things we used to do together. Like the farmer's market"

"the one in Brooklyn?" She could hear a lot of noise on his end of the line, which meant her friend had stopped whatever was going on with his secret project to call her.

"yes. we used to go there every Sunday after church and spend the day. I haven't gone back in a year. And it hurts because there are so many good memories there."

"doc said something about that, didn't she?" Aaron remembered what had been said but it helped May much more if she remembered alone.

"yeah, she told me to create new memories there."

"we could go there when you get back."

what would have been a perfect brainstorming session was interrupted on both ends.

"shit, I've got to get back to rehearsal but I'll call you later."

"I will hold you to that. there is someone at my door, so I'll get to that."

after an exchange of 'I love you's', May was happy to see Tom at the door.

"hi, aunt May. Mom said it's best if you're not alone, and I agree. So I brought food, you have Netflix and we don't need to talk about anything if you don't want to."

after their lunch, people had been giving Jake and Martina plenty of looks. she was not going to deny that there was a chemistry between them. but she had not forgotten what a mess her last relationship had left behind.

"you mean about my dead mom or Jake?"

"both?" he was a little shocked at the harshness in an usually soft spoken person.

"sorry, it's a little too much for me right now."

"I am not the best at giving advice but I am great at shutting up and listening." Tom sat down on one end of the bed.

"I've only ever told this to your mom, not even Aaron knows exactly why Jonas and I broke up, he blames himself enough already. And I don't really want to discuss how things ended right now, but I loved him a lot." it was hard cutting herself off once she started speaking. "and I was in bad place after it, my friends, they were there for me, helping me become myself again. I really like Jake but I just am scared."

"of what?"

"if getting hurt again. of disappointing my friends to the point they'll leave me. and with the way things have been this week, my mind goes haywire with anxiety."

"aunt May, I haven't been through half of what you did. plus, I am almost ten years younger than you are, but I am fairly certain your friends wouldn't leave you. and neither would our family. I believe we don't have a choice on getting hurt, but sometimes it is worth it. it means we're alive."

"thank you, tommy."

"thank the fault in our stars for that."

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posted 6 hours ago

notauntmay in this picture there are two of the people I've had the honor of working with, both family in their own ways. in life we have a family we are born with and other we assemble along the way. i am very happy with the one I chose and I hope you are too.

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(I was gonna make more comments but it felt better to end it there. this one is a lot longer and it also touches a little more on May's background. don't forget to vote xx)