The Poison Of Your Love (Sweet Pea love story)

Coldness

We laid in my bed in each other's arms. Sweet Pea was warm and quiet.
I wished to close my eyes and sleep. But my stomach growled with hunger.

"Hungry much?" -Sweet Pea

I giggled and pulled him closer.

"We should go to Pops and maybe bring some food for the Serpents." -Me

"Yeah...we should but if I could, I would stay here with you. Just you." -Sweet Pea

"Me too" -me

I quickly land a kiss on Sweet peas lips. Then I get up and scoot off the bed. I stretch my aching body.
Sleeping on the hard ground really isn't comfortable.

I look at back at Sweet Pea staring at me.
I smile back and think about our moment in the shower.

I walk to the bathroom and apply some makeup. Light and not too glam.

I go to the kitchen and check my wallet. Most of my cash is gone but my credit cards are still there.
Sweet Pea comes out of my room with his leather jacket in his hand.

I gather my things and a little baggie of coke falls from wallet.

Sweet Pea sees it. Before he could react, I snatched it off the counter and stuff it in my pocket.

He doesn't say anything just heads towards the door. I roll my eyes and follow him. I lace up my converse and lock the door behind me. He's waiting in the elevator with his hands in his pockets.

He looks so sexy but he wears a lethal look.
He's clearly mad but doesn't say anything.

"Man I hope we don't eat up Pops. I'm so hungry I think it's possible" - I laugh

He doesn't say anything. Just keeping it awkward and quiet.

When we get to my car, I don't unlock his door.

"Sweet Pea what's wrong?" -Sweet Pea

"Why do you have cocaine in your wallet?" -Sweet Pea

I give him a "you know" look
"Why else?" -Me

He stares back at me.

"It's none of my business but...I don't fuck with that" -Sweet Pea

"Okay. Keep it that way." -me

I unlock his door and start the car. He hesitates to get in but eventually does.

Once inside Pops, I see a few booths open but choose one away from people.

The waitress takes our order and brings us milkshakes. I have a strawberry milkshake and Sweet Pea gets a vanilla shake.

"What's your favourite childhood memory?" -Me

"Why? I don't think I have one" -Sweet Pea

"What? Come on. You have to have at least one happy memory" -Me

"It was probably when my old man finally turned into an old man. I turned into a man he couldn't beat anymore. He needed someone to take care of him and it wasn't me. I wasn't below him anymore. I thought he couldn't hurt me, but ghost pain is still there." -Sweet Pea

"I know what you mean by ghost pain. I get it in arms. From when I used to hurt myself." -Me

I motioned towards my self harm scars along my wrists.

Sweet peas eyes followed my hand to my wrist and looked horrified.
It made me feel ashamed and I pulled my sleeve down.

"There's a beautiful pain to being in a dark place like depression. Alone in the dark can get cold and lonely. The coldness becomes numbing and keeps you stuck in place. Leaves everything the same. When people tell me my heart is cold, I know that it means the pain and hate I have there is still there. Kept in place by the coldness." -me