The Poison Of Your Love (Sweet Pea love story)

ESCAPE

I found myself in the kitchen but didn't recognize anyone.

I looked around and saw FP standing by the windows, watching a girl dance for him.
I shuddered when I remembered when he watched me like that.
The girl must have been on JJ. She look a wreak.
I had no business being here with my mood.

I felt my chest become heavy and my throat tighten.

I left before I could take another breath.
I took the stairs down but paused when I got outside.

I didn't want to drive anywhere just to end up in jail.

I started walking. I don't know where. But I was going somewhere.

I stopped and looked up.
I was at Sweet water River bridge.
I smelled the water and the rocks before anything else.
I took a deep breath but still felt a little too still. I wanted to run. I wanted to run till I dropped dead.

Bet that was the blow talking.

I laughed to myself but didn't find happiness there.

"Why am I like this?" I asked the moon

The moon didn't answer. Just shone down on me like a spotlight.

I continued walking.

I was on the Southside. The last place I wanted to be.
I started to walk back when I realized where I was.
I was on the road that led to the train tracks. But on this road was also the Whyte Wyrm.

"Fuck it!"

I started to walk to the tracks. I tried to keep my mind quiet but it wasn't working.
I looked down at my feet and saw I was standing on the tracks.

I went to my left and walked on the tracks. It was really hard at first and jut as I thought I It the hang of it.
I fell

I laid there without feeling.

It was warm out but I got chilled.

I let myself cry for reasons that only existed in my head.
That's when I sat up and pulled out a spliff.
I thought about it but...I don't didn't trust it.
I took out a baggie instead. I used my hand to sniff it off of.
*👃🏻👃🏻👃🏻

I didn't care how light head I felt. I didn't care that no matter what I do. I'll always feel like this. What's wrong with me?

I sniffled as more tears came down.

I did another line.

Then another. But I ignored the feeling of running.

Running was boring. I wanted a rush.

Then I thought of it. 🧠💡

I did another line then I threw the baggies to the ground.

I started to run to the Sweetwater bridge.
I felt the wind on my face as I pumped my legs harder.
My legs would never stop and I wouldn't need to.
Because god hates me so much.
He'll keep me from heaven.
So even if I die. I won't really. God wouldn't let me.

When I finally got to the bridge I couldn't breath.
My heart was beating so fast. But it wouldn't calm down.
I started to get scared. What if my heart exploded. Wtf
I had to jump.
If I didn't then my heart would explode and I wouldn't die. But they'll think I'm dead.
But if I jump I'll be able to fight the current and swim to shore. The rush would be soooooo worth it.
I jumped up and down and ran on the spot because I had too much energy.
I was too pumped to jump and too pumped not to jump.
Maybe I don't have to jump just fall. Like trip or something but what's the fun in that?

I stopped and looked over the edge.

That was a long way down.

But maybe it would be better that way. Maybe god will let me go to heaven. Maybe he'll let me see Kevin.

I started crying.

Because this was the part where I had to jump.

Because like a magician, I will disappear.

This was my GREAT ESCAPE.