𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭 || 𝐉𝐉𝐊 [HIATUS]

No More Secrets

Y/N

You wake up with red, puffy eyes, something that hasn't happened in way too long.

It's just the thought of seeing Taeyong's usual, excited eyes slowly go lifeless and lose it's spark forever because of you. The thought of wanting to visit him only to remember he's laying under the ground under layers of dirt. The thought of betraying someone who you had exchanged so much trust with, the person who was always there for you and took care of you when your parents couldn't mo matter what. It made you sick.

You throw your legs over the side of the bed and attempt to lift yourself up, which fails. You just feel so heavy. You sniff and give up, looking into the mirror. You're a mess. You can't tell whether you look more like a zombie or a ghost. You just look dead. Your dark hair is all messed up, sticking up in different directions, while your face is stained with tears. There are dark circles under your puffy, bloodshot eyes.

You may ask: why? Have you already killed everyone you've ever known and loved already? Is that what's broken you so much over just the course of one night?

Well, the answer's no.

First of all, you're enduring the tortures of menstruation, and second of all, you don't believe in Jungkook's little "plan," if you can even call it that.

You already know what's going to happen, and it's going to leave you broken in the end anyways. Yes, you'll have your parents, if Kim even let's you live in the end like he said he would, but everyone else will be gone.

You might as well take your own life and pray that the afterlife is real. Pray that you don't have to wait long before you see the ones you love up there again. Really, you'd rather that happened instead of staying alive and watching them suffer. You don't even care that it makes you a coward, because you're already a coward anyways. Everyone's a coward, everyone's all terribly afraid of something.

Your thoughts start to go to very dark and depressing places before you hear a knock on the door.

It snaps you out of it and you suddenly realize how stupid the thoughts running through your mind was.

Suicide isn't the way. It really isn't, it's a dumb move... right?

You grasp your hair tightly in your hands and look down at your bare feet. You don't even know anymore. Head Kim has messed you up in too many ways just by forcing you to do this sick "mission."

Your mind starts going wild again before you hear another knock on the door and a male voice.

"Y/N? You awake?" Hoseok."It's time for training, and you weren't there. Head Kim came to us and said that you're excused or something like that. Are you okay? Did something happen with your shoulder?"

Wasn't Jungkook supposed to tell them?

That idiot.

You open your mouth to speak and your voice cracks on the first word."Yeah, I'm okay. Just... sick."

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't sound too well.
Y/N? Can you open the door, please?"

"I said I'm fine!" You yell a little too loudly. You immediately clamp your mouth shut in regret.

There's a moment of utter silence, almost completely convincing you that he had left, before Hoseok speaks.

"If you need someone, I'm here, you know," he says, almost inaudible.

"I know, I'm just not feeling well, okay? Thanks for the offer but I'm fine."

Another pause.

"Alright then."

You hear footsteps as they echo down the hall, leaving you, getting further and further away.

When you're completely sure he's gone, you stand up and head into the bathroom. You apply light makeup to cover your very gross looking eyes along with your usual morning routine, and leave your room. You eventually arrive at your destination: the training room.

The captains spot you.

"Y/N!" They all shout in their own way at their different timing, running over to you. All of them but one. Jungkook. The one you need most.

You glance over at their scowling group of fangirls with dark eyes before being attacked by Hoseok.

"Jungkook told us. No one should ever have to endure that alone," he says, embracing you tightly.

You bury your face into his shoulder and slowly lift your heavy arms up to meet his waist.

"Ahem. If you're here for training, you are late. Aren't you going to punish her, Captains?" a silver haired girl says, making the other female agents around her giggle.

You glare at them. Hopefully, you're scarier than most days, considering the mood overwhelming you at the moment.

"Very kinky," you say.

The girl looks taken aback, undoubtedly rethinking how she phrases her thoughts.

She opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by Jungkook.

"Training is dismissed. We've reached the required amount of hours today."

You meet his sympathetic gaze for a moment before he looks away, leaving to God knows where.

And with that, all the agents scatter, going their own, separate ways.