Ambivalent • DazaixReaderxChūya

8. In the Infirmary

"Where the hell were you?"

You don't meet your red-headed superior's gaze as you make it back to headquarters, walking past him and into the door, not in the mood to get into trouble for disappearing on him while the mission wasn't completely over.

You didn't regret it, but you knew it was against protocol.

"[l/n]!" Chūya yells, taking hold of you, forcing you to face him.

"Let go of me!" You yell back, pushing him away from you.

You weren't sure why you were acting up this time, but you didn't want anyone near you right now. Maybe it was knowing that you could have been with people who actually have a chance of caring about you right now, or the effects that returning to the Port Mafia gave you. The memories of all the violence you had to endure, Akutagawa's abusive words, Chūya's constant nagging. You didn't really matter to them. But being here offered you purpose, something the agency failed to highlight.

"You left in the middle of a mission, you didn't come back with me and you didn't tell me where you would be. You've only been part of the Port Mafia for 2 weeks. Do you know how suspicious that makes you look?!" Chūya reaches for you again, this time holding you back tighter, pulling you towards him and not letting you walk away from him. "And do you know how it looks for me to come back with without you?!"

Although clearly mad at you, Chūya refrains from his usual name-calling, something you find a bit strange. You look into his eyes, a bit startled with how close you two were now.

"Where. The hell. Were you." Chūya repeats in a low growl, his fedora casting a shadow over his eyes, hiding whatever he was feeling in that moment.

You wait a moment before answering, trying to decide what to say so he would stop asking questions. It was a bit hard to concentrate with him being so close, but finally you managed to think of a decent reply.

"I went out to eat. If you don't want me to disappear from starvation, maybe tell Akutagawa to back off a bit." You respond, keeping any of the details to yourself, knowing it would only anger him more.

"...Akutagawa?" Chūya backs away and questions what the wretched mafia dog had anything to do with this.

"Is that why you're bleeding like an idiot?" He asks, nodding towards your shoulder, which you had forgotten had been bleeding since you got to the restaurant. "I know they didn't hit you on the mission...but didn't you go to the infirmary after training? You should have been fine."

"Oh...I haven't gone up there since the first few nights." You admit, and you couldn't care less about it.

"What?! You-" Chūya groans. "Another mafia member with a death-wish. Great." He mumbles the latter to himself.

Chūya gazes down at you as if debating whether to let himself be temperamental or to talk to you with reason. From training you and being the one that spends most time with you, he has learned that most times, you could match his attitude when you want to, but he has also noticed that the majority of the way you act is an act. You crave something. What that is, he hasn't figured it out yet.

"Fine, I'll take you up there myself." He sighs.

"What? That not-"

"Shut up."

You give up trying to argue with him and let him drag you to get properly stitched up, walking in silence for a while, listening to your steps in perfect unison echo throughout the long empty floors of the Port Mafia building.