I'm In Love With Me?

Chapter 24

I couldn't look at Carmen as the events of that day surfaced her memory. I could remember the whispers in the hallway as Carmen passed by. I could recall the weird stares people gave her and the way they would dodge her. I clearly remembered hearing Carmen cry in the bathroom during lunch.

No one wanted to be friends with her. No one wanted to sit with her at lunch. No one wanted to be in group projects with her. Except me whom she hated ever since that day on the beach. She would avoid me like the plague in the hallways and she would never make eye contact with me. She once made it clear to never speak to her again.

"Carmen let me help you." I said, stooping low to help her with her books. She swatted my hands away, glaring at me. "Don't try and play the angel in all of this, Lenna."

"I'm not-"

"I don't want or need your help. We aren't friends. So treat me like a stranger because that's exactly how I'll be treating you. Don't talk to me. Don't smile at me. Don't even look at me." Carmen then snatched her books from the floor before heading off. I watched as her retreating form disappeared around the corner and I covered my face with my hands.

That was the moment Carmen Lynn and I became total strangers. It was like we were never friends. Like we never walked home from school together. Like we never talked for hours on the phone about anything and everything. She would never acknowledge my presence.

"My life became a living hell." Carmen voiced, shaking her head and I looked at the girl from her sitting position on the elevator floor. "Kids at our school thought me a major screw up. I had no friends. No one to talk to. I was depressed." I felt guilty. When recalling the past earlier I realised I was really drunk that night and Asha told me to tell her Carmen's secret while they were in the woods. Two other girls must have heard as well. I couldn't believe it. Was I really the one to tell everyone Carmen's secret? Did I really betray my friend?

Water pooled in my eyes as I remained frozen in place. That couldn't be. I would never do such a thing. Drunk or not. "Melanie was ridiculed for it too. She lied to everyone about me being her daughter. Her friends are scared to come over because what do you know? Her daughter Carmen is screwed up in many different ways and everyone is holding that time where I accidentally slipped and pushed that kid into a swimming pool where he almost drowned against me." Carmen's eyebrows were furrowed and tears trickled down her cheek. I really did make her life miserable. "Melanie barely talks to me now thanks to you. I trusted you, Lenna. I really did." She was crying a lot now, her voice hoarse. "As a friend I trusted you."

"I-I'm sorry." I apologised, my voice small. "I honestly don't know whether I told them your secret or not but if I did, I'm sorry." I looked at her as she looked at me. "Your life really has been hard after that day and I'm so sorry. I really am." This was taking a toll on me. Carmen had been through worst than I was going through now yet I have Caspien to help me get through it. Who did she have? Absolutely no one other than Melanie.

The elevator started moving again and both Carmen and I stood. "You're sorry, huh? That's not going to help my situation. It's not going to wipe my tears. It's not going to erase an entire years of struggle on my part." The elevator opened and I took steps backward, watching her closely. "So I hope you're as miserable as I am now because I hate you for what you did." My eyes widened as a stray tear threatened to roll down my cheek. Hate was a strong word. "You are a horrible person Lenna Adams. I don't need your apology."

The door closed, leaving me to stand there. My feet wouldn't move. They were rooted to the floor. Was I really a horrible person? Was I so terrible that I should be hated.

Everything in life came crashing down on my shoulders in that moment. It was a feeling that suffocated me. A feeling that crushed me.

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