Joe and Dianne: Life away from you

24 hours in silence

Narrator's POV:

The next morning, Dianne once again found herself waking up in the very same sleepy hotel room that she had woken up next to her ex-boyfriend in less than 24 hours ago. Her head was still understandably wracked with guilt, her body was sore after she failed to warm-up properly before last nights show, and her life was slowly but surely falling apart right in front of her. Well, to anybody else, it seemed like Dianne had just woken up and was still in a partial comatose state, her messy hair, mascara smudged tired eyes and pale skin presenting the Dianne which not many people ever get too see. The non-dulled up, tired and cranky Dianne that might as well be the direct antithesis of her public picture. But nevertheless here she was - having to get ready as if it was no other day. As if it wasn't the day that she would either have to break the heart of the sweetest boy on the planet, or hide a secret from him that she was to ashamed too admit to.

But much like any other day, all Dianne wanted to do when she woke up alone was speak to whoever she loves most - and although what she did suggests otherwise, that person was still Joe. Reaching across to her bedside table Dianne reached for her phone - with its screen cracked after the countless times she had dropped it, and it's Disney themed case that allowed her to indulge in the memories of her childhood every time she looked at it. Much to Chloe's advice - Dianne turned her phone off completely before Joe had the chance to contact her - but that was 13 hours ago, when the last person she wanted to speak to was him - times had changed by now. So the moment that she turned her phone back on and unlocked it. The sight of two missed calls and a message from her boy both broke and mended her heart at the same time. Opening her contacts, she ignored all the warning signs going off in her head, as she could no longer resist the urge to call her boyfriend. And after barely two wrings on a Face Time call, Joe's tired yet handsome face popped up on screen. His hair an attractive mess, and his blue eyes shining out like sapphires as they contrasted the white bedding around him.

"Hey you." He said simply with a smile - warming up Dianne's bruised and battered heart.

"Hey you." She replied back to Joe with a smile, having just his face on a cracked phone screen was no where near like having him sat in bed next to her, but given the situation it was a sight she was over the moon to see, and it was a sight she wished that she could never let go of. 

"How was last night?" Joe questioned attempting to be cheerful, but it was obvious to both himself and Dianne that he was still very tired - having probably just been woken up by Dianne's  call, and possibly feeling down about the lack of contact with Dianne over the past 48 hours.  

"Yeah - it was good. The crowd were amazing and to finally say that I have headlined my own show is well... it's a dream come true." She replied being honest for a moment as she got lost in her career. "How was your night? She asked, lowering her voice so that it was almost a whisper.

"Um... well..." Joe lowered his gaze so that Dianne wouldn't be able to read him. Ever since he was a boy - Joe had never dealt well with certain emotions, and although he had become so much better over the past couple of months or so, he still found it difficult to express himself. Even to the woman he thought he might be in love with. "I won't lie Dianne - it was pretty shit." By now his gaze had returned to the sleepy red head on his phone screen. It was no surprise to Dianne that her turning her phone off had hurt Joe a little bit - or at least pissed him off to some extent. But the fact that even the minor action of turning off her phone for a night had caused him this much pain, made her sick to her soul. If this had made that sweet boy morose, then what would become of him after Dianne reveals her deepest shame. But continuing to play his game, Dianne asked anyway - empathising the care in her voice. "Really, how come?" She questioned.

Once again Joe lowered his gaze so that Dianne couldn't look him in the eye. He spoke so quietly that it was essentially an incoherent mumble rather than an answer to her question. "I missed you is all Di."

"But Joe you knew that I was okay." Dianne said in order to rinse herself of any blame.

"That's not the point though is it?" Joe said in a louder tone, accentuating his 'Ts' to show how much this had bothered him. "The point is Di, that I don't just call you to check up on you - and I don't just text you to know that you're alive. I call you because I want to hear your voice, I want you to tell me about your day, not sparing any detail, and I want you to listen about mine. And when I text you and you text me back, as much as I love that I can say things to you - it kills me that your hands are only touching your phone when you talk to me, and their not touching me as you sit with me, telling me something that you can say anywhere. I know that I don't need to check up on you, you're a grown woman and you're entitled to do what you want, and I know that  you aren't one of those girls who would just forget about me the moment that you bump into a new guy in a dark bar. You aren't that type of girl and it's one of the things I love about you."

That comment was in no way intentional - how could it be? Joe didn't know what Dianne had done. But from her side of the call, those words he had spoken which would usually cradle her as she reviled in the trust Joe had for her, cut her like a knife. Because not only had his trust been misplaced in her, it had also been squashed without him knowing it. 

"I know I'm a 27 year old man Di, but last night after Byron had moved out and I was sat all alone, I was a 27 year old man who needed to hear your voice to tell him that he wasn't alone - that for the first time in his life, he was with someone who wanted to be with him also." This time Joe stopped, his long rambling speech highlighting feelings even he didn't know he had about the last 24 hours of silence. He looked up into Dianne's eyes through his phone - once again finding it painful that he couldn't reach out his hand and wipe away the tear that was threatening to spill out the corner of her eye.

"I'm not angry or upset at you - like I said you're a grown woman and I'm sure you had you're reasons, and I respect those, you know that I do. I just want you to know that when you shut off your phone, you shut me out as well. That means that I can't tell you how much I care for you - and you deserve to be told that everyday. So whenever I don't, I feel like I have failed you - not only as your boyfriend but as a friend in general. I've failed before and I refuse to fail with you, because you and I are meant to be." Joe paused once again, plucking up the courage to say his final sentence. "I know it's soon Di, and I would much rather have told you this in person but, I love you Dianne Buswell. I really fucking do."

By now Dianne couldn't contain it. Her tears fell down her face like piles of snow in an avalanche. It was certainly not the right timing for Dianne to profess the love for Joe which she had always thought she felt, but nevertheless she let the words fall out of her mouth as if they were nothing more than a casual greeting to a neighbour. "I love you too Joe." And although she really, truly meant those words she had been wanting to say for weeks, her tears refused to tell her why they were continuing to fall.

Was it because those words that Joe had said to her were perfect beyond description and that she was certain she had finally found the one - her very own Disney prince charming, like she dreamed of as a child. Or were they falling at the guilt and hatred of knowing she was going to have to break someone's heart.

The only question was, did Dianne have the audacity to break Joe's or the courage and resilience to break her own?

A/N Hey people! Sorry that this was longer, but personally I feel really proud of this chapter. I put a lot of thought into this and I really hope that you can see the vibe I was going for. Also thank you so much for almost 2k reads, that's insane. I have lots of ideas and thoughts about this story and can't wait to bring it further. Please tell me what you think of it, any comment either positive or negative is sooo helpful and I would really appreciate some points of view. Thank you all once again. A lot of love for you all xx