Joe and Dianne: Life away from you

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Dianne's POV:

As Joe and I began to head up to his apartment, I began to feel my eyelids grow heavier and heavier as the stresses of the day began to catch up with me, despite it only being three o'clock in the afternoon, I felt just about ready for bed. I rested my head on Joe's shoulder as we waited for the lift to open its doors, gently squeezing his hand in return of thanks for the comfortable pillow his jacket was providing for me. Just as I felt my eyelids shut, the repetitive 'ding' of the lift graced my ears causing me to wake up from my trance.

I was finding it hard to articulate in my tired and disgruntled mind, but as I stood in the metal box that lifted me up into a familiar environment, I felt as if nothing had changed. As if what I had done was barely a hazy memory rather than a mortifying truth that I had to face. Chloe's words were still rattling around my head, as if they were an endless echo that would haunt me, rather than the words of wisdom she had intended to give me thirty minutes prior. But the one thing that refused to use the exit doors of my mind was the thought and the feeling of reassurance I had when I held Joe's hand.

A hand that had been there to hold through some of the lowest days I'd had over the past 6 months. A hand that had originally been there just to guide me through a simple waltz routine, or balance me in an Argentine Tango. A hand that had held doors open for me as we walked through the studio on a Saturday morning, or the hand that held me for all those nights that Joe and I had been together, his fingers touching every surface area of my body as we proved what we meant, wanted and needed from one another.

A hand that I knew would be there to hold forever, telling me that all of my inhibitions and fears weren't important when I was with Joe. I understand that to anyone else it sounds absolutely insane that I could get all of that from the feeling of Joe's admittedly clammy fingers intertwined with my own. But I could... I can. It's the feeling you would get when you know you have met the one that you're meant to be with until your dying day, the one who would forgive you for all your stupid sins and mistakes, because at the end of the day, they love you - and that's all that mattered to the both of you.

So as the doors opened once again, and Joe unlocked the door to the set of rooms which had slowly become my sanctuary, I felt a weight lifted off of my shoulders, as I looked at the boy with the floppy hair and bright blue eyes, the boy that loved me for who I was and what I had done, and I knew that in that moment everything would be okay.

Even when I told him

Narrator's POV:

From the very second in which Joe walked into his apartment, he couldn't help but feel the giddy excitement he had harboured earlier rush back into his body. Dianne had barely been away from him for no more than 72 hours, but Very quickly within that time period, Joe decided that it was far to long. So as soon as Dianne walked through the door and settled down on his large grey sofa, he couldn't help but smile at the felling of completion that flooded his veins. The very sight of her red hair splayed out against the contrasting grey sofa cushions making his heart beat that little bit faster, his hands become that little bit shakier with excitement and his smile growing that little bit wider.

But still..... Something was missing.

See Joe had always been someone who was very in touch with his thoughts - his emotions had always confused him slightly, but his thoughts were what kept him going. Whether it was the creative thoughts for video ideas he had at two o'clock in the morning, or the mundane thoughts of what he was going to cook himself for dinner, Joseph Sugg was always in touch with his brain. And from the very moment that Dianne had bounded off of that train and jumped into his arms, there was something that his brain just couldn't let go.... The chat Dianne had with Chloe just before they left seemed far too serious to be a simple case of 'tour life stress'. No. This was something different. Something that Dianne knew about, that she was purposely keeping from him.

But Joe knew his place, and if she didn't want to tell him, then she of course didn't have to. So going against his thoughts he pushed that niggling idea to the back of his head and sat down next to his girlfriend, allowing her to snuggle into his body as they settled down and watched a movie together, allowing the night to grow dark outside around them.

Dianne's POV:

All day Joe and I had done nothing but watch films, chat and devour cups of tea and a roast dinner that Joe ended up ordering for the two of us, being too lazy to cook for ourselves. But eventually as the night grew dark, and our eyes grew tired - we headed up for bed. My thoughts about what I had done with Anthony where nowhere to be seen as I indulged in the moments I had with Joe. Savouring his touch and taking in his sent that I often craved so much, but as I laid in bed with Joe's warm body around me I couldn't help but allow my mind to wonder.

I knew that I was good person. I knew that I was kind and truthful and that my life compared to many others was quite frankly incredible. There was certainly worse places I could be than wrapped up in the arms of a famous YouTuber after all. But the thought of the fact that I was wrapped up in the arms of a boy who had never been in love before seemed to scare me to death. Usually, knowing that Joe had never been in love before made me feel special, as it made me feel like I was different and that I really must mean something to him - rather than some of my previous boyfriends who could fall in and out of love quicker than a man with no parachute jumping out of plane. But now knowing that I was hiding something from him, that feeling of being special to him, scared me more than I can explain. I knew that Joe loved me - and that I love him, but if I was to tell him what I had done, he would experience a heart brake that only comes form the disappointment of falling out of love, and I refused to be the reason for that.

I found myself tossing and turning for hours, until eventually I decided to give up the idea of sleep and take my rattled brain downstairs, in the hope to figure out the impossible puzzle in my head. I slowly moved Joe's heavy arm from off of my stomach, before sneaking out of bed into the cold air of the night, and headed down the stairs of Joe's apartment. Reaching the sofa, I brought my knees up to my chest and stared into the distance, slowing ordering my thoughts to comprehend how to get this off of my chest. Chloe's words contradicting my own thoughts, telling me what was right for him, rather than for me.

As I stayed in my little bubble for god knows how long, I barely noticed the boxer clad figure of Joe walk down the stairs, into the lit hallway with a confused look on his face. I looked up to him with a half arsed smile before lowering my eye line again, feeling a lot less happier to see him then I did earlier today.

"Dianne!" Joe said loudly - grabbing my attention, and holding it with the piercing stare of his saphire like eyes. "What's going on? I woke up and you weren't there." Joe said sweetly, worry evident in his voice.

My brain was telling me not to say anything, but my heart was still tearing me apart, knowing that Chloe's words were right, I had to put away my own selfish reasons and tell him. I stood up and looked Joe in the eyes. His worried look and shaking hands breaking my heart slightly as I knew that what I was going to tell him would break his heart.

"Joe sit down for a second, we need to talk."