Joe and Dianne: Life away from you

Which way should we walk? - Part 2

Joe's POV:

Dianne and I had been walking in an uncomfortable silence for the past 10 minutes. With our hands tucked in our respective jacket pockets, we stayed walking together - yet more apart than we had ever been before. Within the past 24 hours, the dynamic between Dianne and I had changed ten fold. Going from what can only be described as one of the most loving and heart felt relationships either of us had ever had, to a distant and cold state of unknowing as to what we truly were. With the cold wind battering around me, I couldn't help but feel as if all of this was my fault.

After what Anthony told me last night, I had been wrestling with the ideas of guilt and self-hatred for the past 14 or so hours - every thought or niggling feeling of doubt I had ever had about relationships swarming back into my mind at all occasions; the hour train journey down here seeming like a life time as not even the sound of my headphones at their highest could block out the regrets and fears I was feeling. But the moment I came down those stairs, hair done - jacket and shoes on - ready for a simple roast dinner with my sister and her boyfriend, I caught site of a girl. A girl who made all of those fears go away. All of those doubts dissipating away as if they were nothing but a slight tickle at the back of my throat that could be removed by the smallest sip of water or tea. And it was only now that I truly realised what I needed Dianne in my life for.

Yes I love her, and yes she makes me laugh. But that isn't what it's about. It's about having someone to hold when I knew I needed to. And equally having someone to hold me, whenever I needed it most. Yet ever since I met her, ever since I was introduced to this bubbly red head - this incredible dancer - this woman who at first glance seemed nothing more than a bubbly persona and some bright red hair, I had always assumed that all I needed her for was to be there with me whenever there was a story to tell, or laughter to be heard so that she wouldn't miss out. But only now did I realise I was wrong. As it turns out that the same woman could only have ever been the right person to hold me. During the results show on Strictly. During the time we had to spend apart over Christmas. During the time I stressed over taking that shot on a cold November night when we kissed for the first time. And most definitely the only person who could have held me when I decided to let her go.

And it was because of that very descison - that very bat shit crazy idea that I could live without her, that I knew it was my turn to apologise. Because I now know all to well that If I stop holding her, and she stops holding me, then I would regret it for the rest of my life. Anthony's right... I'm the only one who can give Dianne Buswell - the incredible dancer miles away from her family - the happiness that she deserves. But that's only if I do it now...

Narrator's POV:

As the pair of them walked around a corner onto the main prominade of Brighton, they were hit by a harsh breeze coming off of the sea, the usual sunshine and warm weather you would hope to find on the coast in the middle of April no where to be found - as were the crowds of people. The usual hustle and bustle of Brighton stowed away in their warm homes, watching whatever crap was on TV that cold and blustery afternoon.

But the weather and the lack of people were the last things on Diannes mind. Instead the only thoughts she had at that very moment were about the boy next to her. This make or break conversation that Joe was about to have with her was not the outcome she was hoping for as she came down to Brighton today, but as weird as it may seem, now that she was with him - even if it was to possibly end it all - she couldn't help but feel instantly better about the whole thing.

She knew that she still loved him, that was never the issue. Even the moment after Dianne had done what she did, she still knew that she loved him and if they were to break up today, Dianne knew that there would always be a special place in her heart for the Wiltshire boy with the floppy hair and sapphire like eyes.