Joe and Dianne: Life away from you

27 years worth of waiting - (part 1)

Narrators POV:

The apartment seemed to grow cold to Dianne as she frantically moved items from one corner of the spare room, stacked high with T-shirts, joggers, dresses, underwear, chargers, any makeup she could find and god knows what else, from one corner of the room to the other, carelessly chucking it into a large suitcase that she found hidden away in the back corner of the room. It was fare to say that her blurred vision, caused by the tears that continually threatened to fall, the irrational speed she found herself moving at, and her shaking hands were showing a side to Dianne that she hadn't seen in over 10 years. A side to her that was weak - frail - ill - lost in not only herself and her abilities, but in her own mind. When she began touring, the pressures she found herself put under when she began her new life as a professional dancer had shocked her. The need to feel as if she could blend in with the incredibly fit, skinny and undeniably gorgeous dancers she shared a stage with had very quickly compelled her to skip meals for gym sessions, skip drinks out with her friends for nights in with yoga sessions in her flat, and skipping celebrating birthdays with family for sending messages from thousands of miles away from a cramped dressing room with 10 other girls.

Those feelings that finally ended up driving her into hospital, hand't been felt since that dark period of her early twenties yet now, as she continued to carelessly pack away her belongings - leaving nothing behind apart from her life with Joe - Dianne couldn't help but allow those feelings of self doubt and hatred seep back into her blood stream as if they were nothing more than a mild trickle of water down a window.

Dianne stopped herself for a moment, looking at the mess she had made of both the room and of her life, as she stood their with her arms filled with clothes that she was willing to chuck in a bag and run away with like a child, rather than do the mature thing and give Joe the goodbye he deserves. "This is wrong, Di" she muttered to herself as she examined the contents of the already overly packed case lying open on the floor. Within a second, Dianne found herself sliding her back down the wall next to the case, the rough texture of the wall scratching her soft skin as her shirt rode up her back exposing her bare back. As her tears fell and the clothes she held fell onto her lap, she couldn't help but allow her mind to think about one million things at once, yet equally become blank and empty. She was tired, her body ached and although the holiday she had just returned from with Joe had provided her with the escape she thought she needed, she found herself never feeling as trapped as she did in that very moment. Several moments passed before movement in her peripheral vision caused her to jolt her head to the left as a tall, well dressed, warm figure entered the room with a confident stride.

She watched as his dark eyebrows furrowed as he looked around the room in a frantic search, before he tilted his head, his strong jaw softening as the blue - sapphire like orbs reached hers. He kept his eyes on her as he settled on the edge of the bed, the soft mattress compressing as his strong body fell comforted by its soft arms.

"What ya doing Di?" He questioned as he jutted his head towards the suitcase next to her. His gaze was strong, dominant, all the things that struck guilt into her veins as if it was nothing more than a vaccine. Dianne and Byron had obviously spoken on several occasions. After week 6 Dianne had ended up spending most of her time living with Joe, and consequently with Byron. She knew that he was sweet, kind, caring and in the most prominent way, the reason she was with Joe at all. She held a trust in him ever since she heard what it is he talks to Joe about, a trust that comes from the gratitude she has for him after he took care of her boy for so long. But now, Dianne could see that the trust she held for him wasn't reciprocated in her. Knowing what she had done, knowing that Joe's misery is her fault, Byron's stare no longer looked so calming, so trustworthy. And that fact alone began to eat her up inside.