Crumbling Paradise

/04/

Jahseh
Divorce?

A humourless laugh fell from my lips as i replayed the words in my head. Divorce? What kind of a sick joke was this? Divorce. I just couldnt believe what i was hearing. All this was still too much to comprehend. I felt like a third person looking into MY life from the outside.

"Listen Jah,the evidence against you is pretty heavy-"

"I don't fucking care about no fucking evidence Taymor! I didnt do any of those things! And I as sure as hell aint signing no damned divorce papers!"i exploded.

"Everything ok?"an officer popped his head into the room.

"Yeah. We're good." Taymor answered his eyes trained on me but i was seething. Nothing was okay.

"Jahseh calm down please." Taymor started calmly.

"Calm down? My life's just about to be ruined and you telling to calm down? Nah fuck that shit!"

"And all this yelling and cursing is helping you how?"he leaned back raising his eyebrows. I remained silent." If you could only see half the shit going around the internet especially from Stokeley's fans! Everybody believes you cheated. Even Stokeley! Your own husband! What makes you think the judge will even think twice about annulling your marriage? Huh?"

"You're my lawyer Taymor! Its your job to prove my innocence."

"I know that but it isnt something i'll do in a day! Especially since everything seems authentic. Thats your signature in those papers. Every one of them."he pointed at the papers. "I can do all that when you are outside this place so please think about it."

"Theres nothing to think about Taymor. I'm not divorcing Stokeley!"i said defiantly. That wasnt even a topic of discussion.

"Will you please stop and think for a second. You got two options Jahseh. One, divorce Stokeley willing and get out of here so you can find the evidence you need to prove your innocence or two stay stuck in here for a crime you didnt commit and still get your marriage annulled by the judge. Its your choice really."Taymor hissed standing up. He looked fed up with me and at that moment i couldnt bring myself to care." Think about it. You dont got much time either."his indifferent words angered me. He was being incosiderate but i couldnt really expect him to understand me.

A huge sense of anguish and melancholy settled around me,engulfing me in its cold hold as it dawned on me how fucked up my situation was. What pushed me on edge was the fact that i was still going to lose my Stokeley. There was no way around it. The realisation only added more weight to my already aching heart and i couldnt take it as broken sobs left my mouth. My hands trembled and i couldnt see clearly from the blinding tears that continued to spill endlessly.

"Back to your cell."i heard but i didnt even bother to look up. I didnt even realise Taymor left. Even as the officer repeatedly tapped me to get me to stand up,i didnt bother to compose myself. Whats the point? My life was practically over at this point.
"Come on."i was roughly picked up being dragged by my arm. I just let him. I had no strength to fight back even if i wanted to.

Next thing i know i was being thrown back into that empty cold cell. The first thing i did when i landed on the dirty floor was throw up. There wasnt much to throw up. All that came out was clear slicky liquid. The gag reflexes on after the other made me cry even harder. It was painful since i had nothing to let out but they didnt stop. They kept coming and coming. My throat burned and my stomach ached as the slimy liquid continued to leak out of my mouth. My eyes widened as i tried to stop. It sure felt like i would vomit my stomach and intestines if i didnt stop.

Finally when the gagging stopped i coughed violently pushing myself to the side and away from the mess i had created on the already dirty floor. I breathed in heavily still coughing and the tears never stopped. My stomach was still hurting from the exertion force of the gag reflexes. All that mixed with my broken sobs were the noises falling on my ears. I felt suffocated,like i was drowning. Like something was pulling me under and i couldnt for the life of me save myself.