Crumbling Paradise

/11/

Jahseh

I woke up to someone annoyingly tapping my cheek. I groaned swatting the hand away and grabbing my cosy pillow which turned out not to be a pillow. I groaned again extending my hand and feeling around. Too light...too slippery...lips...eyes...nose-wait? Nose?What in the fuck?I opened one eye lifting my head up only to come eye level with pink moist lips. I opened the other eye just to confirm I wasn't seeing things. Well damn. I blinked slowly trailing my eyes up.

"Will you get them tiny scrawny ass twigs of mah face slime." Kentrell deadpanned.

"Right. Sorry."I sat up taking my hands off half his face. That's when I realized the position I was in. Almost half my body was on top of him. I scooted over to my seat rubbing the sleep off of my face. My face was heating up from embarrassment. I tried with futile attempts to fix my hair which was everywhere.

"W-we about to l-land."he cleared his throat shifting in his seat. I yawned stretching my limbs infront of me as my butt cheeks clenched together. A satisfied groan escaped my lips at the relief.

"That was fast."I said stifling a mid yawning. I was still sleepy.

"You was sleep through out."he sounded nervous. I turned to look at him just as the flight attendant gave instructions to get ready for landing. He puffed his cheeks blowing air out. He was scared. I bit my lip as I sat up fully then used my other hand to hold his.

"Don't mind me. I'm a lil scared. Can I hold yoh hand?"I smiled at him.

"S-sure."he nodded  tightening the grip on my hand. I extended the other using it to rub small circles on his knuckles.

"You know clouds have sugar? Like eighty percent of clouds is sugar. Yeah. And unicorns live on clouds too."

"Say mayne,thas about the dumbest shit I ever heard in my life."

"Ahuh, you calling me dumb?"I gasped faking hurt.

"Yea'"he chuckled shaking his head.

"Well sir I'll have you know that I ain't dumb. I'm pretty intelligent."I sassed putting on the best white voice I could master. He threw his head back in laughter.

"You sound like a Heather."he wheezed. I laughed slightly watching him laugh.

"Thank you for for flying StarLight Air. We have reached our destination."

"Ouuuh lookie here the plane stopped."I cheered raising out joined hands slightly above the arm rest. I gained the attention of several people forcing me to duck down before they recognized me. We then waited being among the last to alight.

"Hey Jahseh."I stopped in my tracks looking up at him." What? Why you looking at me like that?"he frowned.I stared some more.

"I just never heard you say my name before."I cheesed putting the dark shades and beanie on. I watched him roll his eyes dragging the beanie over my face.

"Heeeeey."I punched his upper arm. I hadn't realized we were still holding hands until he used that to swirl me around and trap me by my shoulders against his body.

"Weak ass."he laughed in my ear sending chills through my body.

"Get off me."I pushed him off fixing the beanie again." Dumb ass."a chuckle left my lips as I  peered at him over the shades.

"You used that lame ass shit to distract me didn't you?"

"It worked didn't it."

"Uh....yeah. Thanks."he mumbled walking by my side. I craned my neck trying to spot my momma over all this people.

"Y'all hurry along now. I'm tired."she appeared behind us then walked right past us heading towards the luggage area. Kentrell did the same increasing his pace after her. I sighed coming completely to a stop. Looking around I couldn't recognize any of this faces. People moving around busy minding their own business. They seemed normal. No recent divorce hanging over their heads. No unplanned baby growing in their stomach. They still had their jobs and the whole world didn't have their nudes judging them for actions they can't even remember doing.

"-seh! Jahseh! Snap out of it slime." Kentrell was slightly shaking my shoulders. I breathed in harshly before looking around one last time then my eyes settled on him. "Say, do something hurt? You okay?"

Yeah my heart was hurting. My pride was hurting. My head was hurting and I was just overall tired. I rubbed at my chest feeling a burning sensation. I couldn't breath all of a sudden. I opened my mouth trying to breath through it too but it still wasn't enough.

"Aye you're panicking. Come're."he cupped my face using his thumbs to caress my cheeks." Ight breath wimme okay. Count four seconds between each breath."he demonstrated counting the four seconds in a whisper. I followed his actions. It wasn't working. My head was starting to spin." Come on mayne. Keep breathing. 1234.....inhale....1234.....exhale.....1234....inhale.....1234.....exhale....you doing great. Keep going." Now it was working. The burning sensation was reducing and finally my breathing was stabilising.

"I-i-i'm sorry." I felt stupid. Since Kentrell met me all he does is save me. I felt week and utterly embarrassed. This wasn't me and it was sad to say my person was ashamed of me.

"Iss ight. Everythang gone be okay,ight? I gotchu. Just relax."I realised now his hands weren't just caressing me but wiping my tears instead."I gotchu. I promise."he repeated looking straight into my eyes. That's when I felt relief wash over me for the first time this whole mess started. Nothing was okay but it would work out for the better and Kentrell would make sure of it. It was sad really that I had to depend on a man to bring balance into my hurricane of a life but right now it was the best option if I wanted to stay sane.

There are no less crazier words to express this moment but I literally felt myself leave my body. I don't know how to explain it. I was me but I wasn't. I felt like a new person. Like my old life didn't matter anymore. I was someone completely different.

"You'll stay with me right?"What right did I have asking him that? He just met me and I was already imposing myself on him. I didn't care about that though. All I know is I  needed him. Do I sound like a needy desperate bitch? Of course yeah. Do I even really care? Nop. Hell no. My heart raced as I waited on his reply. I knew I'd be crushed if he said no.

"Definitely."my heart leapt at that. I didn't really know if he said that out of pity or he actually meant it but then again I didn't care. As long as he was there that's all I needed. I found myself hugging him really tight. The real me wouldn't do any of this but like I said this was a new me.

"Ken getcho dirty ass hands off my son and y'all better keep up for I whoop you up and down this airport." my mother snapped sounding aggravated. I pulled away sticking myself to Kentrell's side as we walked behind my mother. With his arm around my shoulder keeping me under him and his scent all around me,I was okay. I was safe.

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