It's 7 am and we're currently having breakfast. Gaya ng ipinangako nya, makabawi kay Hannah, maagang dumating si Donny dito sa apartment. He was also the one who cooked breakfast for us. Bacon and eggs, pancakes, sausages...ilan lang yan sa mga nasa hapag kainan ngayon.
"You cooked a lot kuya" sabi ni Hannah sabay yakap sa kuya nya. Ang saya nila tingnan. Naalala ko yung mga araw na kaming tatlo lagi magkakasama. Kapag yayayain ko si Donny lumabas, automatic nang kasama si Hannah nun.
"So what are your plans today?" tanong ni Donny samin after he hugged Hannah back. Naramdaman kong tumingin si Hannah sakin pero patuloy lang ako sa pagkain.
"I want to go to a mall kuya. I want to buy presents for mom and dad"
"Actually, I have other plans today. You two can go to the mall without me" I smiled. Tumingin ulit si Hannah sakin nang may halong pagtataka.
"Are you sure? Where are you going? We can drop you off before going to the mall." Donny said while still munching on his food. Hinawakan ako ni Hannah sa braso. She was mounthing "why"
"Trust me, you need this more than I do" I whispered to her. Bumalik yung tingin ko kay Donny. "No thanks. I can manage" sagot ko. Hindi pa rin inaalis ni Hannah ang tingin nya sakin.
"But we're still going to have dinner together right?" tanong ni Hannah sakin. I just nodded and smiled to her. Hinawakan ko din ang kamay nya to assure her that I'll be fine.
After ng breakfast, nagpaalam si Hannah para magshower saglit bago sila umalis. Kami lang ni Donny ang natira dito. Gusto ko na sana pumasok sa kwarto kaso nakakahiya naman kung iiwan ko lang sya magisa sa sala kaya nagpasya akong hugasan na lang ang mga kinainan namin.
"Kisses" naramdaman kong papalapit si Donny. Kumalabog ang dibdib ko. Kinakabahan pa rin ako kapag tinatawag nya ako.
"B-bakit?" Inipon ko muna ang lahat ng aking lakas ng loob bago humarap sakanya.
"What do you think is the best gift for Hannah?" Halos pabulong na sabi ni Donny.
Napaisip rin ako kung ano nga ba ang magandang regalo kay Hannah. "Ummm—
"Kuya! I'm ready!!" Napatingin kami pareho kay Hannah na kalalabas lang ng kwarto. Tumawa lang si Donny at pinuntahan si Hannah.
Nakangiti naman nang parang nakakaloko si Hannah saakin. Pagkatapos noon ay nagpaalam na sila.
Wala naman talaga akong plano ngayon. Gusto ko lang bigyan ng time yung dalawa para makapagcatch up at magkaroon ng time magbonding ng sila lang. Naupo ako sa harap ng tv, nagiisip ng kung anong pwedeng gawin nang maisip kong ifacetime si Sue.
"Kisses!!!" Hindi mukha ni Sue ang bumungad sakin, mukha ni Marcus. Yumakap naman agad si Sue sakanya at kumaway sakin.
"Aray. Kinagat nanaman ako ng langgam dito. Abot dito yung kasweetan." Biro ko.
"Buti naman nagparamdam ka na. Pagkatapos nyong makarating sa airport, wala na kaming narinig sainyo ni Hannah" ani ni Marcus.
"Merry Christmas!!! Merry na ba ang Christmas mo?" Tanong ni Sue habang tinataas taas ang kilay.
I awkwardly laughed and felt the tears that are bout to form in my eyes. Napansin naman agad yun nila Marcus kaya nagtinginan sila. Agad kong iniba ang topic dahil ayaw kong makita nila yun at para hindi na sila magtanong.
"I just really want to see your faces. Nakakamiss kayo pero I need to go. Bye see you soon!!!" I ended the call and sighed while my tears fell.
Bigla kong naalala yung dala ko galing Pinas. Kumaripas ako ng takbo papunta sa maleta ko at kinuha yun.
A box. Box kung saan ko nilagay lahat ng sulat ko kay Donny. Kasama sa box nito ang mga blank papers and a pen. The next thing I know, I found myself writing yet again another letter for him.
December 22, 2018
Dear Donny,
How do I say that I'm the girl you left behind? How do I say that I'm the girl you used to love? How do I say that I'm the girl who loved you back the most? I don't know how and I'm scared. I'm really scared. What if I say those things but you just choose to turn your back on me and continue with the life you're living right now? Too many what ifs been playing in my mind. I came here because of you but the moment I saw your eyes, not recognizing me, I felt hopeless and lose all the strength I gained before I went here. It's hard and it hurts. It hurts so much that I just want to go back home but my heart still keeps me from doing so. I love you, please know that.
Love,
Kisses
I wiped my tears that were streaming down my face while I was writing. I folded the paper and kept it in the box. Wala akong assurance na he'll be able to read these but I still write anyway because it makes me feel better.
Biglang tumunog ang phone ko. It was a text from Hannah. She said they'll pick me up at 6 pm for dinner. Sa totoo lang, ayaw ko ng sumama talaga kaso nakapagsunduan namin ni Hannah na sabay kami magdidinner sa araw na to.
I got up and decided to stroll around the places nearby.
I found a coffee shop. Maliit lang sya pero ang ganda ng ambiance nya. Nakakagaan ng mood. Konti lang din ang tao dito kaya dito ako pumasok. I was sipping my coffee when a familiar face entered the place.
He immediately smiled when he saw me.
He hugged me.
I punched him as a response.
