Kisses
Kasalukuyan na akong nagiimpake bago umuwi ng Pilipinas. We all decided to leave a day earlier than we are supposed to. Pinapauwi na din kasi ako nila mommy. They found out about the mess the Pangilinans are in, that I am in.
"Kiss? You sure you want to leave now? We can still wait for them if you want." Marcus
Umiling lang ako then he left the room.
We haven't heard from Hannah and Donny since that night. I wanted to ask them on where they are or how they're doing but I think it's better to leave them be. Masyadong masakit yung mga nangyayari sakanila. I'm sure Hannah will contact me naman kapag ok na at nakauwi na sila.
When Donny and Hannah left the house that night, pumasok agad sila Tito and Tita pabalik ng study room. Ate Ella was left there, nakaupo, umiiyak. We stayed for her for a few minutes tapos umuwi na din dito sa apartment.
Marcus and the others wanted to contact Hannah pero naiwan nito ang phone sa bag nya na kinuha ko noong umalis kami doon. They tried to contact Donny too pero hindi ito sumasagot.
Inikot ko ang tingin ko sa room to make sure na wala na akong naiwan. I saw the box. I saw the box full of my letters to Donny. Ever since that day, di na ako nakapagsulat ulit. We spent Christmas Day just hanging around the house. Kahit mabigat sa pakiramdam namin, pinili pa rin namin icelebrate ang Christmas.
I wrote a note to Hannah that we'll be leaving earlier because my parents are looking for me already. I also wrote Merry Christmas and left a paper bag with a film camera in it. Yun lang naisip ko iregalo sakanya.
Napahinga ako ng malalim. Aalis ako ng California na may bigat pa rin sa dibdib ko pero on the brighter side, nasagot yung mga katanungan sa isip ko. Kung bakit sya nagpropose sa babae, kung bakit di sya nagparamdam, kung bakit di sya bumalik....hindi nya ako maalala. Napahawak ako sa dibdib with that thought. Time will heal all wounds. For now, I just have to let them heal. Let myself heal.
"Let's go" Sue
Niyakap nya muna ako bago kami umalis at tumungo ng airport.
Philippines
"Mamaaaaa"
Tumakbo ako agad nang makita ko si Mommy sa arrival area at niyakap sya ng sobrang higpit. Hindi ko mapigilang umiyak. Niyakap din kami ng Daddy.
"Shhh baby, it's okay", sabi nila.
"Ninong, ninang" Napakalas kami sa pagyakap ng tinawag ni Marcus ang mga magulang ko. Nagmano sya rito. "I'm sorry po" Nakita ko yung mga mata ni Marcus. He's really sorry. I should be the one saying sorry because I dragged him to that mess. Hindi lang sya, pati mga kaibigan namin.
Niyakap sya ng Daddy. "You've done nothing wrong, anak. Thanks for taking care of her."
Umuwi muna kami ng Masbate para doon magcelebrate ng New Year.
Balibalita na sa industry ang pagkakabagsak ng company ng mga Pangilinan. Siguro dahil sa pamilya ni Maureen. I heard they called off the engagement and the merging of their companies. Pero still no sign of Donny and Hannah.
Napasinghap ako. It's partly my fault.
"Baby".Napalingon ako kay Daddy. "Are you okay?"
I smiled weakly and nodded.
"I guess you've been watching the news". Napayuko ako. I didn't say anything. "Don't worry baby. Everything will be okay. I'm just here for you."
Umakbay sakin si Daddy at sumandal naman ako sakanya.
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Napakunot noo ko at humarap sakanya. "What do you mean dad?"
"Your heart". Napanganga ako sa sinabi nya. Sinabi na ba ni Marcus? "I know it's broken due to your misfortunate love life." Tumawa sya kaya napatawa din ako.
"Daddy talaga" Niyakap ko sya.
"But I also know about your condition. I know that you've been getting chest pains again. We'll wait for your results from California then we'll have it checked here too, okay?" Naramdaman kong tumulo mga luha nya. Mas hinigpitan ko ang pagkakayakap ko sakanya. "We don't want to lose you again."
Napapikit ako.
"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, Dad"
"That's okay. Marcus explained everything to us."
Tumulo yung mga luha ko.
"I love you"
Few days after ng New Year, hinatid na ako sa Manila nila Mommy. Magpapasukan na kasi ulit.
Right after they left, I called my four fathers...Marcus, Kiko, Jerome and Elmo. I asked them kung nakabalik na sila sa unit nila. I invited them for dinner dahil may mga niluto si mommy bago sila umalis.
"KISSESSSS", sinalubong nila ako ng yakap.
"How are you holding up?", Kiko asked while we were eating. Binatukan siya nila Marcus at Elmo. I laughed.
"I'm doing okay. I needed that time off with my parents.", I answered. "Kayo...how are you guys?", I smiled. Nagtinginan sila. I know they are not convinced with my smile.
"We're okay din naman. Me and Kiko spent our New Year together. Si Marcus, kasama si Sue. Si Elmo umuwi sa probinsya nila." Sagot ni Jerome.
"That's good"
" You heard about it right?" Elmo asked.
"About what?"
"Wroblewitz called off the engagement."
Tumango lang ako.
"Have you heard from them?" Marcus
Umiling ako.
"Don't worry. They'll be fine" sabi naman ni Kiko.
Nagkayayaan silang uminom after ng dinner pero hindi ako sumama. Madami pa akong kelangan ayusin dito sa condo.
12:15 am. Matutulog na sana ako nang biglang may kumatok sa pinto. Imposibleng yung mga kumag to dahil pumunta sila sa isang club sa BGC. Medyo matatagalan bago sila makabalik. Hindi din ako nagpadeliver. I'm not really expecting anyone at this hour.
Binuksan ko ang pinto. I froze nang makita ko kung sino yung nasa labas ng aking unit. Napakabilis nanaman ng tibok ng mga puso ko. Nangangatog nanaman mga tuhod ko.
Nanaginip ba ako?
Nakaramdam nanaman ako ng kirot sa dibdib ko kaya napahawak ako dito at sa doorknob ng aking pintuan.
I almost blacked out pero sinalo nya ako at niyakap. Niyakap nya ako ng sobrang higpit.
I hugged him back.
Tears fell.
