AS LONG AS I WAKE UP TODAY

•the thirty-seventh•

"Stop stop... Shawn make them stop!". I cried my eyes out. "Scott its hey I'm here... I'm here". he Held me close to his chest.

After a few minutes, It stopped. He peeled my face from his hoodie. I was too late to wipe the tears from my face.
He already know i cried, but my face was always so ugly when i cried. I never could see my own face in the mirror. Let's stand how he would see me. If he was Demian i would be okay with it, But Demian...Demian... well he is Demian.
He took my face between his hand caressed my jaw slightly, with is tumb.
"Lilia are you okay?".
I didn't respond.
"Are you okay?".

I looked over at the spot where the shooter was leaning against a locker filled with paint-brushes. He nogged his head. "Yes... say yes!" He screamed in my head. I shut my eyes to suppress the pain from his voice shattering the walls in my brain.
"Are you in pain?".
I looked at the shooter. He shook his head. I turned back to Shawn.
"No no I'm okay thanks for asking".
I turned back to make sure the shooter was still here.

"Lilia where are you looking at? there is nothing to see". I snapped my head back to meet a confused and worried Shawn.

Am i going crazy?!

"No just keeping my thought together". "Okay tell me if you are not". I nogged looking down.

I'm really going crazy...

Shawn dragged me on my feet. Held my hand in a loose grip.
"I wanna see her".
"Silvey?".
"Yea".
"Lilia are you sure..? I think you shouldn't...".
"No i want to that you don't care about her doesn't mean that i don't".
"Don't start this... not again Lilia".
"I didn't rape her...and let go of my hand". i yanked my hand from his grip.
"Lilia please i don't wanna be mad at you".
"Then...then... I'm sorry".
"I wished i could contain myself... to say no... i mean how could they kill me and... the girl".
"You must have really loved her". I looked down.
"I really wished i didn't make this mistake"
"Its fine Shawn... it wasn't your fault... you did it out of love".

Did i just repeated the word from a shooter..? it's like he is still controlling my mind.

"Okay...sorry".
I reached out my hand for him. "Come on take it".
He took my hand, carefully not wanting to hurt me again.

I pulled the door open. As i saw her body i squeezed shawn's hand together. I think i might have broke it.
"O my...". I followed the blood trail she left behind. She has been struggling for a long time. She has suffered for so long.
Along the wall, her handprint in blood slide down and stopped above her body.
I covered my eyes with my free hand. Shawn blocked my view from her. I looked up at him, started crying.
he pulled me into his arms. Lowered his head to cuddle up against my head.
I was inconsolable like a child who has been told that her stuffed animal was lost. Only Silvey was a friend, not an object.

Shawn still held on my hand, squeezed when he heard the messy sounds from a gun being reloaded.
"Lilia...come on let's go back".
I was too heartbroken to leave her behind.
"I wanna stay with her".
"You can't... it's over... I'm sorry it's over". I wanted to walk with him when he lead me back, but gravity didn't worked together with my body.
Shawn lifted me up, rested my body on his shoulder. Carried me back.

just in time before they hit the thirty-seventh...