MUSINGS OF A SOLIVAGANT

Playmate

There was this little girl,
Living in a little city,
And she was bothered a little,
That she had little friends.
When she was just six, her colony friends would,
Peek out from under the garage and call her,
While she wouldn't be let go without practicing music.
With time those friends faded off like a memory,
Shifting, new places, adjusting to different life,
Snatched away the childhood with friends.
In the evenings she'd look around,
For a playmate to appear,
As if by magic suddenly, poof!
Every little wish upon a star,
Was seeking one little miracle so far.
Instead the windows are closed,
As the day wears off and she,
Is striking the keys of a harmonium,
Her little fingers drumming incessantly,
Producing music she never wanted to,
Each note crying out for relief,
In her tiny voice as they quivered and wailed.
The windows stay shut and the light is gone,
And the little girl drones on and on.
Games was a luxury for her,
Just one tiny period in a busy school routine,
That too once each week like alms.
Why would kids need to beg for games?
It's the birthright of every child to play.
The games period was basically lonelier,
Because there was no one to play with her.
They were busy in sports she was never good at.
Going out with school friends wasn't a fashion then.
Even she wasn't allowed to go to birthdays.
She used to roam the houses alone,
With her dressing up kit,
And her one or two dolls so precious.
Weaving her own imagination in letters,
Not in musical notes or artistic strokes.
Expectations on her were like a choke hold.
With time she learnt to adapt and close herself off,
From the call of the carefree insanity,
That raged in every vein of her.
She was little, too little to realize,
That in their excessive love and care,
Her parents were curbing her desires.
And still it is being curbed in different ways,
Different directions, different persons.
Still she's chained in expectations.
Her passion for friendship however still burns.
She's possessive, overtly attached at times.
Emotional, irrational, stupidly expectant,
But maybe she sees in people the long lost playmate,
Or the one she never had when she wanted.
The shadow of a childhood that should never have been.

©masquerade