MUSINGS OF A SOLIVAGANT

Virtual

The mobile phone vibrates at my ear,
I wipe my sleepy eyes and reach for it
An unexpected name floats up,
I fumble on the receive swipe,
Dropping the phone on my face,
But the ringing has stopped.
I immediately flip to the call logs,
But the name is gone.
That one name I've waited to see.
I brush off the weirdness and
Drag up my contacts and scroll
The name is gone from there.
Panic sets in way too quick,
My eyes wide open now,
The last traces of sleep gone.
My fingers shift through the green icon,
The app for chats — WhatsApp.
The chats are gone,
Erased, taking along every trace of
What was us, the moments, the memories.
I stare dumbfounded at the screen,
Scrolling up amd down,
Wiling for them to return,
By any chance but they don't.
Some things don't have a second chance.
I pour through all social media,
Instagram, Facebook, DMs
Wattpad, YourQuote amd Mirakee,
Till my tired eyes start to sting.
But the person is gone, deleted,
Where had I gone wrong?
Must be a glitch in the phone,
Or an occasional sleepy mistake,
Can't be true.
Till yesterday it was all there.
Today its gone, poof...
Like a mirage in the desert.
That one beacon in a maze
That never leads you the right way.
My hands are shaking, so is my heart
As I stare at the blank screen,
And a missing contact who,
Doesn't have an existence in my life,
Beyond the world so virtual,
And yet in a single moment it's gone.
That's what happens to people in my life.
They come, they stay,
Show me a way to live happier and
Then poof, gone in a smoke,
Lile into a magician's cauldron.
But this is not true, its just a dream
A dream, a nightmare, where's the difference?
A dream I chant.
And the dream is broken.
The nightmare is gone.
I look at the inky blackness of the screen
I quickly swipe it open
No call, no text.
Pamic sets in again until I scroll up the contacts.
And it's there, sitting cosily.
My heart feels elated,
My mind fluttering with euphoria.
Tomorrow we never know what happens.
But that one special person is here now,
He's here with me.
He's here to stay.
And my subconscious just showed me,
The worst fears inside me,
The fear of letting go.
The fear of delete
The fear of block,
The fear of being erased at a swipe.

A/N Just a dream, but a nightmare.
The fear is all so real.