Be Like That

These Four Walls

In this time, I've lost all sense of pride
I've called a hundred times
If I hear your voice I'll be fine

And I, I can't come alive
I want the room to take me under
'Cause i can't help but wonder
What if I had one more night for goodbye?
If you're not here to turn the lights off
I can't sleep

These four walls and me

The Perspective of Jade Thirwall

She was gone, just like that. Her engine erupted into a loud and aggressive roar before it took off on its legs, racing towards the depths of the jungle that we were forsaken to walk beyond because behind those walls were danger. Danger that we called pain. It was a shame that's what I caused her but she rushed right back to the home she had gotten used to so well. Truthfully, I had no idea where she went, I could only assume and hope it was home. I looked over at Perrie and her jaw was propped up on a string of air, slightly opened. "Jade." She said and I bit my lip. "Why'd we do it?" She asked and the most I could do was shake my head slowly. "Why did we do it..?" I repeated her question slowly before looking at her. "Jade, you should go home." She mumbled and I nodded. "Have a nice night, Perrie." I said before clearing my throat and walking home.

When I arrived at my house I took my key out of my pocket and unlocked the door. "I'm home mom!" I shouted dully before I heard moans. I rolled my eyes, I was sick of hearing moans. Everyone was having sex at the same time, I was sick of the moans and the sucking. The kissing and the choking. The lying and the cheating. I walked up towards my room and when I arrived I slammed my door shut. Then came the tears as my body started to shake. I walked over to my bed and laid there, faded memories of my childhood started to arrive at my front door. "Special delivery!" I heard and thought I imagined it at first. I was right, I had imagined it. Imagined the memories coming to my door in a special packaging yet to be unwrapped and never replaced by the recent memories which were too sour to call memories, after all. That was when my eyes locked shut and I fell asleep, suddenly. Resting at the thought of these sweet memories that I missed.

My eyes forced open due to the light that had filled my room. "Me room es too brit for me to even see nuh thing, eh?" I said to myself before crawling out of bed. Then I repeated it. "No wonder why people complain about me accent, what the hell did I just say?" I asked myself and laughed a bit. Then I went over last night's events in my head. "Shit." I muttered as I remembered what I did to Leigh-Anne. I dragged myself to my shower, with a loss of motivation after remembering what I had done. When my bare body felt the shower water drip down it's small curves, it shivered a bit. I looked down at my body in pure disgust. Not that I hated my body but I hated what I had done with it. "Why the fuck did you do it?!" I yelled in frustration and disappointment at myself before slamming my hand against the wall. I slid my back down the shower wall, before I ended up sitting up against it. "Fuck you, Jade Thirwall!" I shouted at myself through my flooding tears. "Fuck you." I repeated at a whisper, the salted water mixed with the clear and a bit stung my tastebuds. I glanced around at my shower walls and shook my head. "Fuck fuck fuck." I muttered on repeat under my breath.

When I finished my shower I crawled out and dried myself the pale colored towel. I clothed myself in my bedroom before laying on my bed. I picked up my phone off of my nightstand and within an instant I called Leigh-Anne. I heard someone pickup and a bit of soft breath on the other end. "Leigh-Anne!?" I shouted through the phone before I heard sobbing on the other end. "Leigh...." I muttered and then clearing of someone's throat came out of my speakers. "Don't call me Jade." I heard a familiar voice mumble. "Don't fucking call me again!" I heard her shout through her sobs. "I'm sorry, Leigh-Anne.." I whispered as I started to cry more. "Jade, don't you dare fucking try to apologize! Don't fucking call me again!" I heard before the call ended. I launched my phone across the room before tears continued to fall more violently, right there, surrounded by only my loneliness and my debt that I would have to pay to the heavens or hell sometimes soon. The truth was that I messed up, and I didn't know what to do.