Be Like That

Woman Like Me

I made a few mistakes, I regret it nightly
I broke a couple hearts, that i wear on my sleeve
My momma always said, "Girl you're trouble" and
And now I wonder, could you fall for a woman like me?

The Perspective of Jade "Really Bruh" Thirlwall

I opened my eyes, damp with tears that have dried, glancing around my room. I stood up and rubbed my eyes before looking around my room again. I made my way downstairs, almost tripping over every step. Did I have a hangover? No I didn't drink. Was I drugged? No, there's no one who would even think about drugging me unless they wanted me dead. There's no one who wants me dead, at least I don't think, I mean to them I'm just a chameleon. Blending in with the crowd to never be seen but the truth was that I've always wanted to be noticed. By anyone who wasn't Perrie. Perrie was my best friend, and Leigh-Anne's, so hypothetically I could have been friends with Leigh-Anne a long time ago. So maybe if I had been friends with Leigh-Anne a long time ago then the feelings would have faded quickly because I would assume she had no interest in me.Maybe if that happened she wouldn't have gotten hurt by me. The only reason why it happened was because this feeling of being loved hasn't been present ever since my dad left. Then when he died because of a murder from someone who sought revenge. We never figured out what but at this moment it didn't matter. He was gone now. Then I had my hands on two girls that cared about me and well, I got greedy. That was so horrid of me.

I couldn't just lay there alone, doing nothing. I had to go find Perrie and make things better. So I rushed downstairs, still in my pajamas, and stepped into my car. It was silver but nothing super fancy, I loved it though. It smelled of the sweet, cherry perfume I would paint in the atmosphere and onto my skin in that vehicle. In a few moments the engine roared and I sped to Perrie's house. It was small, but grand. I stepped out of my car and knocked on the door of her flat, waiting for the door to open. I waited. And waited. I took a deep breath and waited. Waiting. Still waited. Until suddenly a breeze of cool air sent chills down my spine. It was Perrie and god she was gorgeous. So beautiful.

"Hey Pez"

"Jadey?"

"Mhm." I hummed before I felt her warm embrace around me. I hugged her back, tightly, before pulling away.  "Jade I... I've been so lonely today." I heard, more so felt, her mumble. She pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and I felt her hand move to my cheek. "Should you come inside?" She asked and I smiled softly before shaking my head. She wasn't what I wanted though. Or was she? Maybe she's just what I needed all along. But Leigh-Anne... At that I felt lips meet mine and I didn't pull away. What was I doing? I don't want Leigh-Anne. She doesn't want me. Besides, me and Leigh-Anne only went on one date and me and Perrie have been on a million, even if we were just friends then. Fireworks went off in my stohmach as she kissed me and I slowly pulled away. I turned around to see Leigh-Anne standing there. Her jaw was dropped and then suddenly she let out a heavy sigh, pressing her lips back together. "Again?" she questioned and all I could do was stare. What's wrong with me? I don't even know if I enjoyed kissing Perrie. I mean her lips were soft and she tasted of sweet peaches.
My arms dropped to my side as I stared at Leigh-Anne more, studying her facial expression. She didn't look sad or angry. She didn't even look hurt. She looked... numb. I placed my hand on her cheek and surprisingly she didn't pull away. She looked like she was processing it all and I didn't want to disturb her peace. She looked down then up at me. "Don't kiss me." she whispered so I took my hand off of her cheek. "Jade.. I just don't k-know why y-you're doing this to me." She started and tears came from her eyes. "I've always been watching you, Jade. Wondering how you're so goregous even without trying. I've always felt something when I thought of you. Then I finally got you and you sleep with  my best friend? And then again, kiss her? I was at a bar tonight and I kissed Jesy to get you out of my mind but it wasn't the same. I went to your house 'cause I was gonna confess and your mom lead me here. I just don't understand.." She finally finished and I took a deep breath. I wiped her tears and she moved away from me. "No, Jade. Don't touch me or I'll just fall for you all over again. Right now I just.. I feel nothing for you." She muttered the last bit. I heard it and my heart turned into delicate diamond after hitting the ground. Yet, at the moment the diamonds were rusted. My heart was dirty and disgusting. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." Was all I could manage. I know it probably didn't sound genuine but I had to say what I felt, even if it didn't sound like I felt it. "You  just-" I started before Leigh-Anne cut me off, "I just wasn't enough?" She finished and I shook my head. "N-no..." I muttered and she looked me in the eyes. "Wish I could believe it." She whispered before turning around to leave. Perrie had retreated to her bedroom by now, clearly not wanting to be in the middle of of Leighade drama even if she was sort of the cause of it. I pulled her by the arm and turned her around, looking into her eyes.