Secrets Behind Bars (Zarry)

Chapter 25

Harry(POV)

I can't fucking believe he's telling me that his damn lawyers had decided to let him free when i'm going to be stuck in here alone and fucking unwanted.....Wait i'm going to be wanted but by those fucking perverted pricks that butt raped me not to long ago. I tuned Zayn out when he started talking about the things he could do when he's out and the fact that he actually wanted to leave but with me....That's impossible though since i can't get out of here, not without my father bailing me out that is. Shaking my head when he tried to hold my hand, he huffed out while looking down at in between us. Something's wrong with me though, not anything new but still......I actually feel so fucking selfish. 

''Harry i know that you don't want me to leave but baby, think about......I can get myself a good job and bail you out myself. Your father doesn't give a fuck if your in here alone or not, i can do what he can't. I can help you get out of here but you need to wait and be patient my love.'' Shaking my head again, does he not fucking get why i don't want to be in here alone? Getting up from his lap and forcing myself to lean up against the wall that was next to the dirty sink.

''You don't fucking get it do you zayn? I don't fucking want to be here by my damn self when your out there all safe and happy. Don't you see it? I'm scared to be here when i'm not with you Zaynie, you make me feel safe and loved when no one else has tried to be there for me. No one but my mates that were murdered outside these damn walls. Your to blind to even realize how you make me feel when your talking to me instead of touching me like those pricks out there. Your just always making me smile when your telling me how beautiful i am and how you love my hair, my eyes, the way i look in anything i wear. I have never thought in my entire life that i would be someone's little baby girl or whatever you want to call it. I have always been Dominant and strong against those who were weak towards me, but...you......you have changed me for the better, you have made me something i have never thought i would ever be. And i'm not talking about being submissive or even someone's bitch but i'm talking about you taking care of me. I like that zaynie, i like being held, kissed, told that i'm pretty, i love it all. But now that your leaving...Who will hold me? Who will keep me away from those evil, hairy, perverted, stinky men? Who will tell me that they love me for me and not for what i have outside these walls? Can't you see that i need you more than you need me? Can't you see that i love you just like you love me?'' I started crying, holding myself as i wrapped my arms around my torso just to feel as if zayn was holding me. 

''Baby, just please listen to me. This will be good for the both of us and i promise, i will not let anything happen to you. I love you and you know that, i just want to get out so i can get what i want and make sure your safe in my arms. I know what you mean about being in here by yourself and all but damn.....I just can't be in here, i thought you would have been use to this all since your a.....gang member or something like that.'' I started shaking while trying to block the images of me getting beaten and raped again, i could feel his presence right next to me as i tried to back away from the man that is about to leave me just because he want's to be free. ''Look harry, i know i sound selfish and shit like that but you have to believe me on this. I want you out of here as well but i need you to be strong and not give up on life.'' 

''Zayn what the fuck do you think i'm trying to do! I had been through shit all my life and you may think i'm some spoiled brat that was raised to kill and hurt others. But my fucking father wasn't there for me just like your about to not be. I thought you said you wanted to be with me no matter what, i thought you wanted to stay with me till we both got out together. I fucking told me father about you, i fucking asked him to bail the both of us out and that you can live with me and all that junk. I just wanted to make sure you were safe but no, you want to leave me in here and fucking go off to find a cheap job that won't even pay you good money.'' Huffing out, i looked down at my bare feet while biting down on my bottom lip to hold back the quiet sobs. Soon enough, i was brought into a nice comfortable hug that made me want to snuggle closer but yet....pull away and be mad. Without thinking, i pushed zayn off as i made my way across the other side of the cell while placing my arse on the bed. ''You know what? Just go than, leave me and never come back. I could do this without you, i don't care anymore. You wanted to leave anyways and i'm not going to stop you from doing so. I know you can find someone out there that'll be free with you, love you the way you want to be loved, someone that'll make your life easier than how i would.'' Sniffing a few times, i could see the way he shuffled on his feet without saying anything at all.

''I'm sorry again, i just can't stand being here haz. I know that your treated worse than i am but it's just so different in this place, i was just so happy to know that i'm actually getting another chance when i never thought i would. I mean come on, i fucking held a family hostage just for simple food and a few bucks maybe. I just......I love you okay? I just want the best for you and i want to do this for the both of us. I know you may think i'm some selfish prick that only wants to get out and not be here for you but that's not true baby.'' He moved closer as he lifted my chin in his hands just to make me face him. ''I do love you harry but i think it would be best for me to leave and try to bail you out myself. Who know's what your father has in mind.....I want to do something for once, i want to do something right.'' 

''Your not getting the point Zayn, i'm going to be stuck here alone and getting fucked with while your out there being all happy and shit like that. And don't even think about saying your not going to be happy because i'm not going to be with you, cause you sure as hell know that your going to be throwing a small party inside your head. I don't like it here just as much as you don't, i don't know why your the one bitching when i was the one getting fucked, when i'm the one they want to murder and treat like some stupid whore. I'm a human being to zaynie, i know i sound stupid since i hurt all those people and murdered them cause they were human too, but i'm just changing for you. This isn't going to help me at all, i'm just so upset.'' Hiding my face in my hands, i thought back to my father saying he was going to be thinking about bailing me out. He even said he was going to come visit me tomorrow, i was all happy about that until zayn brought this shit up. 

''Harry i already made my decision, i'm sorry if you don't want me to leave but think about someone else for once. Your always thinking about yourself and how you want things to go your way when your hurting everyone else around you. Tell me......What happens if i stay and your father decides to bail you out and leave me in here right after i fucking declined to leave this place? Than what? If you were in my fucking shoes than you would do the same thing harry, so don't give me that bullshit when we both know what goes on in your fucked up head.'' I gaped at the man that say's he loves me, glaring down at me with so much anger in his hazel eyes. I bit my lip to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall free. Licking over my dry lips as well, i looked at the wall behind him while thinking. 

''Fine, but don't think about feeling bad when you find out that i'm dead in here after you leave.'' With that, i got up off the bottom bunk and jumped to the top just to avoid his comfort. How can he be so fucking rude about things? After everything i had done and said to him. Squeezing my eyes shut as he let out a loud annoying groan. He didn't even say anything nor did he think about telling me to come back down here so he can cuddle me. I guess this was just meant to be.