Secrets Behind Bars (Zarry)

Chapter 26

Harry(POV)

I sat here on top of the bunk while watching zayn throw his book down to where it landed on the dry hard floor. He think's he has it hard? This dumbarse is about to leave me in here after he fucking promised that he'd protect me from these Nazi freaks. I knawled at my bottom lip, i knew it was bad to bite and pull but i couldn't help it. Sniffing a few times, i wanted his attention, i wanted him to think more about what he's doing, he says he loves me and that he would do anything to keep us together but yet here he is......About to leave me soon. I don't even know how long he has till he's finally free, i wasn't even paying much attention to what he was saying when he was smiling bigger than a kid in a candy shop would. Fiddling with my thumbs, i pulled at the hem of my slutty school girl looking skirt, does this mean i still have to wear these awful clothes? Does this mean i still have to Shave my under arms and legs? Does this mean i have to keep my hair pulled back and looking like some prostitute on the streets? I wanted to confront more about this whole thing, more about him leaving me when he even told me that he wouldn't. But i didn't want to talk about it all at the same time, i wanted him to hold me, to tell me that he loves me, to whisper dirty things in my ear while nibbling on my jaw, i wanted him to kiss the bruises away, protect me from these men, most of all...I wanted to feel loved.

''Do you want me to leave the book here for you?'' Rolling my eyes, i groaned while looking the other way just to avoid eye contact. Why the fuck would he even ask something like that when he know's for a fucking fact that i don't want him leaving at all? Licking over my chapped lips, i took in a deep breath while looking at the book that was still lying on the floor by itself. ''Fine be mad at me, i'm not the one that murdered people and put myself in this god awful place harry. I know that you must be thinking about me being selfish but if it was you than you would have done the same thing. So stop trying to make me feel like the bad guy.'' That's it, that's all it fucking took in order for me to snap at this dick faced loser. 

''ME! YOU THINK I WOULD FUCKING STOOP THAT LOW TO FUCKING LEAVE YOU IN HERE BY YOUR LONESOME! ZAYN YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT IF I HAD THE CHANCE TO FUCKING LEAVE THIS PLACE THEN I WOULD REJECT IT JUST TO STAY WITH YOU, UNLESS THEY WERE LETTING YOU FREE AS WELL THAN I GUESS WE WOULD BE TOGETHER OUTSIDE THESE DAMN WALLS! YOUR THE ONE WANTING TO LEAVE ME IN HERE WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT! I FUCKING LOVED YOU AND TO PROVE ME WRONG...YOUR FUCKING LEAVING ME LIKE I'M SOME HOMELESS DOG. I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME BUT I GUESS THAT WAS IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT!'' Screaming my lungs out at this twat, i couldn't help the tears that were falling from my eyeballs. Wiping them away as quickly as i can, i felt his cold hands grip my thighs while pulling me down just to face the shorter lad. I wanted to smack his face so hard but yet...I wanted to kiss him to death and tell him to stay. 

''You need to lower your damn voice and stop speaking to me like i'm the fucking arsehole who put you in here. This is my only chance to fucking do what i need to do in order to break you out. More like bail you out, i want to do this right for the both of us Haz. I love you but if you don't think so, than that's on you. I already proved to you how much i wanted to be together but your here trying to say i don't want nothing to do with you and your body. I care about you more than your own fucking father, if i didn't than i would have never defended you nor took a good beating for your arse. Stop trying to put guilt on me and think about me for once, your the one trying to put everything around you.'' I bit my lip while squeezing my eyes shut tight, i wanted to just die right now. He's putting hurting me so much, i'm not known for one to give in so easily but why is he doing this to me?

''Please, please stay with me Zayn. I'm so scared, i don't want to be alone anymore. I want you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright because i'm in your arms safe and sound. I want you to kiss me goodnight and kiss me whenever i'm feeling down. I want you to push my hair back when i'm crying, i want you to cuddle me when i'm scared of living, i want you to smile when i kiss you, laugh when i tell a stupid joke, please.....please don't leave me.'' I whimpered while hiding my face behind my shaking hands. Everything had gone quiet, the silence taking over....From the men yelling outside the cells about some football game, people playing card games, Zayn....zayn's breathing had lowered. I peeked my eyes open as i looked into his teary ones, he gently took my hands in his while placing small kisses on the top of my soft knuckles. 

''I love you Harry, i will always love you and even if you think i'm not here with you. Than i want you to imagine me holding you, imagine me kissing your cheeks, peppering you with morning kisses that is, i want you to be brave for me. I remember how sassy you were when we first met, how you thought you could run this prison...which you did for awhile. But i'm sorry, i can't stay my love. I promise you, i promise on my life that i will bail you out and we can live together, have a happy little house with a fence and a pet cat named Darcy.'' Shaking my head, i wanted to laugh at the name but i also wanted to be angry cause he's still leaving. ''Stop trying to keep me here, don't you want me to be happy? You even said yourself baby, that you want me to do what will help me with life, but your trying to hold me back from that just to stay somewhere like this. Baby, i know for a fact that your father will bail you out and even if he doesn't than i'm going to.'' 

''Pl-please Z, y-you do-don't kn-know how much i need you.'' Choking back on more of my sob's, i couldn't even think about looking tough right now when all i want to do is be called Zayn's baby and hugged to death like his life depended on it. Wrapping my arms around his neck and bringing him as close as i can, i nuzzled my nose against his bony shoulder while sniffing a bit. ''Please don't leave me, stay with me.'' Was all i could say before he pushed me away with anger taking over his once before calmed face. 

''I ALREADY FUCKING TOLD YOU HARRY, YOU CAN'T JUST GO FROM YELLING AND CUSSING AT ME TO FUCKING ACTING LIKE YOU DID NOTHING WRONG! I LOVE YOU AND I TOLD YOU THAT A MILLION FUCKING TIMES BUT RIGHT NOW YOUR GETTING ON MY DAMN NERVES ABOUT THIS! YOUR A BIG BOY AND YOU CAN PROTECT YOURSELF SINCE YOUR IN THE FUCKING MAFIA AND SHIT LIKE THAT! I SHOULD BE THE ONE CRYING AND HIDING BEHIND YOU SINCE YOU HAVE FAMILY THAT CAN TAKE OVER THIS PRISON WITHIN MINUTES!'' I gaped at the screaming lad as he punched the concrete wall, ignoring the way he scraped his knuckles. I backed away until i was up against the opposite side of the cell. ''Look, i'm so sorry harry. I want to be free just as much as you do, please just please let this happen. I'm begging you, please let me just go.'' He fell to the ground on top of his skinny knee's while looking up at me with teary eyes. He doesn't deserve to be in here, i was the one hurting those who did nothing wrong, i was the one killing babies and children that tried to live a full life, i was the one taking advantage of this man in the beginning, what do i have to lose? Biting down on my lip, i closed my eyes while letting my head fall back against the hard wall. Covering my stomach with my hands and feeling my heart beat faster against my chest. 

''Go than, forget about what we were or what we had. Never think nor speak of me again, i will never think about you or even mention how you were good to me...When it lasted. Don't tell me when your leaving either, just leave. I don't care what you do or who your with anymore, live your life the way you want to and spend your money and more important things then saving it to bail me out. I don't want anything to do with you anymore, so goodbye i guess.'' Shrugging my shoulders, the cell doors were pulled open and both our heads snapped to the side to see two guards with small smirks on their stupid faces. 

''Ah we came just on time right? Zayn your lawyer is here again.'' Holding back more tears was harder than letting them run free, i looked down at my bare feet while sniffing again. 

''Have fun Zayn, it was nice knowing you as well.'' I jumped up on top of my bunk while hiding my face in the pillow. Finally letting the tears out fort he millionth time today, i'm going to miss him but it's better to just throw him away than get all depressed over someone that left you like you were nothing to them.