My Girlfriend Becky (GXG) -Completed-

FOURTEEN: A FOOL

BECKY POV :

I wake up to the sound of my ringtone. 

I barely stopped myself from throwing my phone out the window. I have never felt so vulnerable, corned, ad powerless. It felt ugly, and all my energy allowed was to sprawl on my bed and shut my eyes to escape somewhere beyond these walls. If I couldn't take any pills because everything was so meticulously watched and inspected in this house, and if I wasn't ready to suffocate myself till death nor go on hunger and thirst strike, sleep was the answer to muffle all the pain. 

The past few days have been a real peril; I barely had any appetite, and I felt as though the joy of the whole world has deserted me, my dad was still away, and my mom was never here anymore. This mansion felt like prison, and I didn't even need to utter a word for things to function around here, I was not needed in any way for things to flow, I didn't need to speak, and so I didn't. I could have.. I could battle this, I was Becky Jones! I was everything any other girl wanted. 

I was not this; I was not pain. 

My head facing the other side of my nightstand, I roam for my phone... 

....

-" Becky... Becky Jones? "

A faint voice sounds from the other side. A voice I recognized, but I couldn't believe my ears yet. I hold onto silence. 

-" Becky? This is-"

She stammers. 

-"This is Sonya Roberts," She sighs out.  

The urge to say something was there, but I was committed to holding my tongue. I didn't know why she made this call, but it was better than the doom and gloom that have been cloaking me and this room. 

-" I just wanted to ask if you were, okay..." 

-" What do you want?" Unlike her, my voice sounds bitter, answering her question. 

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Sonya POV :

She picked up in the second ring. 

-" I don't know " My voice, still sounding shaky.  

- " Maybe this way a bad idea" I attempt, and I purse my lips. 

I was walking around the house, the phone in one hand, the other hand occasionally touching my cheek, twirling my hair. If walls could talk, they would be laughing at me. Instead, they were just content with watching me with utmost judgment.  

What the hell was I doing. 

Meanwhile, Becky pauses for a moment. 

-" You shouldn't have called "  she clears her throat.

-" I wouldn't let you die before you hear my voice" I attempt, a chunk of air inside my throat.

Quiet settles in, before my heart jolts up when she speaks.

-" Because now I don't want you to hang up "  Her voice cracks. A bit, a tiny whiny bit. 

She was still playing tough, just like that day in the backyard. I've always wondered why: Why couldn't she let herself cry? why was she inflicting on herself so much agony? 

Why wasn't she letting herself be free with her own feelings? 

What was she afraid of? 

I open my mouth to say something but I bite my tongue. 

She sighs. " Forget it, Roberts." 

-" If I can't come over, " I start.  

Pause. A pause that lasts an eternity. A pause that suspends both mine and her breath in the air. 

-"I'm down for a video call" I gulp in and my stomach does an acrobatic jump inside me. It was a gala down there. Spring shone on my lips and flowers bloomed on my eyebrows. 

"What a fool" The voice huffed tauntingly. 

My brain system shut down, and an error message started popping up on the front side the more I waited. Silence towered at me like a China wall, and the more I held onto the phone, the more I couldn't believe what I was doing.. implying. 

"A FOOL"

-" A video call? With you? " she echoes the voice, and I could swear I heard her chuckle. 

She enjoying this so much. But why. That was a mystery. Just like how I didn't know why my grin only got wider while I was holding the last bit of decency in me. I was not going to let her mock me further. 

-" Alright, Roberts" 

I was a living adaptation of THE SCREAM. In fact, I could have inspired another Edvard Munch.  

A quick check in the mirror and I was ready to face the country's most beloved spoiled brat. Then I hold my breath When she appears on the screen. Becky has found it back. 

-" Hi" I begin. 

-" Hi to you too" 

It was just like the old times, yet some things were for the first time; our empty laughter as we brought up some memories, school, teachers. We were so talkative, it came so naturally and for some reason, I was not surprised. It was as if the past 2 years were but a momentary timeout from what we had, which neither Delancey, Frank, Tara nor even myself ever completely fathomed. 

In fact, I never hated Becky Jones, but I also never questioned what was it that I really felt for her... 

- LATER -

*DOORBELL RINGING SOUNDS* 

 I dash downstairs as fast as my legs could take me before I pull the door wide open to the bubbly faces of my parents. I climb back to my bedroom. Moments later, my mom comes in. 

-" Can I ? " she beams.

- "You're already in " I cackle before she sits on the edge of my bed. 

It was like this with mom; There was a serene silence between us before one of us starts talking.

-" Your dad and I.. " she begins. 

She shakes her head. "Nevermind. What has been up with you?" 

I raise an eyebrow but she buzzes me with questions before I spoke. "Are you crushing on someone? "

My cheeks heat up against me and she ruffles my hair. 

-" Bring her home. We-" 

She inhales deeply. "We will be happy to see her" 

And with that, she leaves, and the door behind her flings shut. The gentle click reverberates through my chest.. perking up my senses. 

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Hey ! you are amazing, beautiful, gorgeous and I thank you for reading this far!

Re-edited: April 2021