My Girlfriend Becky (GXG) -Completed-

NINE: "GayQueen"

Sonya POV :

I couldn't feel my legs. 

After the "conversation" Becky and I had in the hallway, I was left with a quivering heart, legs that weighted bullets, and adrenaline that was at the tip of my throat; Becky has done all kinds of silly things to me, but this was the first time I have seen her use that tone. Even after leaving the scene, the after-effect it had in me was as though I have been poisoned, depleting my face of its color, and replacing it with a lifeless dim shade of yellow. 

My classes had become but a distant chatter as my mind was wholly absorbed in the past event. Somehow, Becky has left me alone, and mysteriously, despite the vivid sensations washing over my body, I couldn't hold back from internally congratulating myself for that. 

Since when did she have so much effect on me? 

-" What the hell was that all about? " Delancey's voice roars next to me. 

-"N-No-Nothing .. Unusual" 

Too late. I stammered. 

-" Are you gonna spit it out or should I crack your head and find out myself? " 

I sigh. The persistence in her eyes was telling me that she was getting her answers .. Now. 

-" Okay. We need Frank though ", a smile breaks free into my lips. 

Almost instantly, she fishes him out from the long line that was queuing for lunch. Original lunch serving system. Anyways, Frank didn't have a choice in joining the circle. In fact, he was usually the last one to know my latest updates on the Becky situation, for two reasons: One, our timetables barely matched, two, he was already too busy swiping for his next Tinder date, or reading a gay fanfiction to mind my business.  

-" Spill the tea now" to which, Frank gives her a confused look.

If I have just come into the cafeteria now and I saw us right now, I would have thought we were plotting world domination. I note to myself as I gather them around and murmur...  

-"I confronted her." 

To that, Delancie squeals like a proud sister, and Frank gives me a thumbs up. Savoring in the praise, after mulling it over and over again, and after debating with myself whether or not it was the "right" thing to do, my heart; however, sinks as soon as I drop the next bomb.. 

-"She is gay"

As I expected, they burst out laughing and pull away. Yet, I don't insist; Even I would not have believed that if I didn't see it with my own eyes.

 

________________________________________

Becky POV :

' I don't care for you anymore '. 

What the hell was that about? 

Like a mantra, Sonya's words kept sounding over and over again inside my head, poisoning me, and slowly ripping my skull into a thousand pieces. Torturing me. 

I came back home early since I knew my dad was on a business trip for a week. Having a whole week for myself without his nitpicking and nagging and endless questions about my studies and my future "plans " was more than welcome. I take a sweet lump of air into my lung, invigorating me, and I exhale. 

Without him around, I could breathe. 

My mom was probably out shopping with her friends, " relieving stress " - as she called it- in a spa. It was absurd to me. As far as she was concerned, she did nothing to have stress about; She couldn't care less about what happens inside the mansion, her presence was as rare as the once-in-a-decade times when family members visit this large house. Sometimes, she was nothing different from an ornament that adds to the multiple paintings that we had around the building.

-" Welcome home ", the head maid deadpans and takes off my coat.

The way to my room was a walk of shame.  Even in my shower, I couldn't get that sentence out of my head. I thought I was scaring her, I thought she was terrified from my mere presence, but she didn't care for me? Who the heck does she think she is? 

And do I care anyways what she says?! 

"You are not worth it." 

I wish I did something. I wish I said something to that! 

With an earthshaking sigh, I get out of my shower and get dressed. Boxers and a sleeveless shirt. I fall on my bed and I let my eyes shut down.. Taking in this silence. Probably not the best way to cope but I didn't care, as long as I found but a tiny bit of relief. Yet, the feeling was as predominant as ever; unease, restlessness, infuriation. I felt as though I was going insane if I didn't get instant answers. Then, I turn on my laptop and sign up in one of those anonymous forums. 

I create my username: " GayQueen ". 

The internet was probably the winning place to hide; it was the only place neither my dad nor anyone could find me; I could be whoever I wanted and before they could trace their way to me, I would have already flown to another universe. In the virtual world, I could talk to people without feeling like I have to hide from them, and if it could satisfy my burning craving for touch and lady intimacy, it would be heaven itself. 

Not that I believed in heaven. 

Regardless of the consequences, I was not alone. 

So I begin typing my question.. 

*typing* I'm a high school student and I have a question that I desperately | "

"Desperately?". As if! The girl who makes a Jones desperate was not born yet. I furiously tap on the key to erase it. I purse my lips, and I wince when my brows knit together in a stinging frown.. 'How do I do this without raising more questions than answers?', 'what if I end up with death threats instead?' I sigh; if there is anything sadder than this situation itself it was having random people spread the hate instead of trying to understand the problem.. 

There was hell in heaven. 

I gulp a bit of cold water into my dry throat. 

*typing* So there is this girl that I don't get along with ... "

Before I press submit, I wonder whether it was not totally stupid to do this in the first place. Look at me; it took only a couple of words from Roberts to get me all tensed up on my laptop. I scoff, bitterly. Finally, after re-revising my post for the 10th time in case something was off, I sign out and turn off the device with a noisy thud. 

Thank you for reading! 

Re-Edited: April 2021