I feel numb. I am doing great, so much better. But all week I just have this emptiness that I can seem to fill. I feel now as I did before. Completely numb, nothing but emptiness. A sensation in which I have absolutely no control over. I want it to stop.
I think it's because I've been blocking out all of the things that have been bothering me. My dad is acting as if I don't exist, I haven't seen him in a week. I miss him so much, but not the person he has become. I miss my dad, my best friend, my protector, my always. But people aren't always, they can't protect you and best friends don't last.
All day I've been listening to music and I feel absolutely nothing. I want this to stop. Why can't I feel a fucking thing! I just want to feel something.
I want happy
joy
love
I want sorrow
pain
hurt
I want it all as long as I feel something. I can't not feel. It's the worst thing in the world.
It's like drowning and watching everybody around breathe perfectly fine, without you.
YOU ARE READING
Done
Randomrandom thoughts from my depressed suicidal brain This is my way of coping. I'm learning to rant on wattpad instead of cut, binge purge...etc. Also, most of the time when I'm writing this stuff I'm upset and have no regard for spelling and grammar ch...
