First love. (an Malec high school au)

The confession

Alec's pov

The school got over and now I was waiting near the pool for magnus to arrive, I was so nervous I kept pacing back and forth, chewing on my nails and waiting for magnus. I looked up I saw magnus coming, he looked so freaking beautiful, he walked towards me with his backpack slung over his right shoulders and his hand tucked into his pocket. He saw me looking at him and he gave me a small smile, at that I felt my heart melt.

"heyy!" he said with an excited voice, "you said you wanted to meet me."

"yahh! heyy..so um I know I've been avoiding you for the past few days." I saw his face drop when I mentioned about that. "I can explain magnus that's what I wanted to talk to you about today."

"I'm listening." was all he said, I could tell that he was upset.I had to tell him now I knew there was no turning back from this...ok...here we go....

"Magnus I think I'm in love with you." I blurted. Magnus looked taken aback, I'm sure he might have expected something but I could tell by the look of his face that it definitely was not this.

"you-WHAT!!" he half-shouted, not harshly but out of surprise.

"Magnus I love you."I repeated.

"but alec...I-I-I thought you were...straight-

"no I'm not..I'm gay magnus." I interrupted him. "I really like you magnus, when I first found out that I was gay and had feelings for you, I was disgusted by myself, I thought everyone will hate me-heck! I don't care about the others..I thought you will hate me so I started to move away from you because I didn't want you to find out."

"Then why tell me now alec?" He asked with a low voice.

"I don't know if you'll like me back magnus but I just wanted to let you know how I feel cause this is your last day in this school and I don't think I'll see you again, I might regret if I don't tell you this now." I told him.

"Alec..I don't know what to tell..I mean we're too young and I don't know if I've ever felt this way about you." He replied with a look of pity on his face. 'there you go, he's rejected me this was probably the worst idea.'

"I'm sorry to have thought that you felt the same way, I was wrong I shouldn't have told this to you." I spoke really fast, trying not to cry..I felt the lump on my throat and my I could feel the tears forming.

"Alec I'm sorry." he told, and moved forward to touch my shoulder but I moved back..

"No..don't touch me, don't pretend that you care magnus..all these little things you do, do nothing but create hopes."I couldn't hold them any longer, the tears slowly made their way down my cheeks.

"But alec I do care about you-" he  started

"Magnus stop-" I replied with a little bit of anger in my voice.

"You're right alec why the fuck should I care about you, huh? everyday that you pushed me away and completely ignored me, hurt me like hell and yet when you came and asked me to meet you without even apologizing for pushing me away and acting like nothing happened, I still came to talk to you and now I'm the one who never cared for you." he shouted with a lot of rage in his voice.'shit I think I just triggered him'

"Magnus I'm sor-"

"No alec stop, like I said we're too young and besides this-us- it won't work out."

"Magnus I need you to give me a reason"

"Try to understand alec-"

"NO! Magnus stop treating me like a child-"

"Then stop acting like ONE!!!" He screamed. I lost him didn't I? but I didn't want to give up

"I'm sorry magnus , but I love y-"

"and I DON'T". He shouted. At that, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces, I couldn't face him anymore I turned to walk away, but magnus caught my wrist.

"Alec I'm sorry I didn't mean to-". Magnus really looked like he regretted saying that.

"No. you've made yourself very clear there is no point in trying to fix it because we can't, good-bye magnus, I hope I don't see you ever again." With that I freed my hand and walked away, but after a few steps I stopped and turned back to see magnus standing still in the same place, with his head facing the ground.

"hey."I called with a very calm voice, he looked up and I could see the tears shining in his eyes.

"I haven't really come out to anyone yet could you please keep this whole incident with yourself?" I asked him, and in response he just nodded, with that I turned and walked away without looking back.

I reached home I couldn't hold myself together, I ran to my room threw my bag and threw myself in my bed and let the tears flow down, I had to suppress my whimpers using my hands because I didn't want anyone to know about this. I can't believe I hurt magnus, I've been acting like a huge asshole. We could've stayed at least as friends but I just spoiled everything.

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heyy guys!!! So I might be posting a lot of chapters this weekend because I might get busy during the week days..love you all and also make sure you vote and comment on this chapter..Happy weekend:)

-vaishali