JUST ONE SOBER (frankiana)

Chapter 11

Franki's POV

Pansin ko na habang tumatagal kaming magkasama sa lugar na to ay unti unti ko naring nakikita lahat ng flaws and imperfections niya. Naiirita ako dun. Kung paano sya kaingay humilik kapag natutulog, kung paano sya kakalat sa gamit at kapariwara. Ayaw din nya ng pinaghihintay sya kaya madalas naming pinagtatalunan yan. Humihingi naman sya agad ng tawad pag nasisigawan nya ko minsan.

Ramdam ko nang totoong nahuhulog sakin ang loob ni Diana at ramdam ko rin na unti unting nawawala ang paghanga ko sa kanya.

I'm at the point of my life where I don't want to unlove her but it's the only choice I got to set myself free from this burden I had in my heart.

She's doing certain things to me like cooking for me and massaging my back pero wala na kong maramdaman. Walang spark.

Kasi may nag-iba narin. Gusto ko parin naman syang kasama pero hindi yung may butterflies and palpitations, more like the feeling of settling down.

Tinitingnan ko lang si Diana habang masayang naglalaba sa ilog. Nakangiti lang sya sakin pero naaawa ako sa kanya. Alam kong sobra syang masasaktan. Nakakainis lang dahil bakit ako pa ang tanging dahilan kung bakit nya yun mararamdaman ng mahabang panahon.

We're only doing this so I can love whoever I want, to be happy, but I don't think I know how that happiness feels like. I've spent most of my life loving Diana without being loved back by her but I'm happy during those moments. So how does loving someone and being loved back feels like when it's not with Diana?.

"Diana, tama na yan. Baka pumuti na lahat ng yan sa kakakuskos mo. Bumalik na tayo sa tent. Sobrang init na."

"Haha sige, tatapusin ko lang tong isa. Mauna ka na."

Pansin kong mas bumait si Diana sakin ngayon. Hinintay ko lang sya sa tent.

I tried to whistle.

FLASHBACK

Grade 10. Habang nasa dalampasigan.

"Do you know how to call the wind?." Sabi sakin ni Diana.

"Hindi naman posible yun eh."

"Ayaw mong maniwala?. Eto look ah--" then nag whistle sya. Nagulat ako dahil parang totoo nga, parang lumapit samin ang hangin.

"How'd you do that?."

"Can you keep a secret?."

"Of course."

"Actually, I'm the Goddess of Air."

"Baliw haha. Papano nga?."

"It's called Coincidence Franki haha."

"Coincidence doesn't happen when you're expecting or asking for it."

"Actually, it does. Here ah, uulitin ko." Nag whistle sya and the wind blew again.

"I saw it with my two eyes Diana, you called the wind twice and that's not a coincidence."

"So, you believe that I have powers?."

"Well,why not?. Walang sigurado."

"Ito ang sigurado, I'm not responsible for the wind blowing okay?. I don't know how that happened but I know I didn't do it. Don't let your eyes fool you. Even the wind is deceptive."

"Paano if paulit ulit na?. Coincidence parin ba yun?."

"Maybe. Wala namang limit yan eh."

"Eh what's the difference ba?."

"Actually, tatlo yan. Coincidence, Destiny and Fate. Destiny and Fate can be interchangable sometimes but the truth is fate cannot be changed like you can't fight death, while destiny has an element of choice and it's more focused on a goal-based journey."

"Yung coincidence?."

"Coincidence is when two or more than two events happen of striking similarity at one particular time by accident or by chance. Coincidence is difficult to explain as they happen entirely as a result of chance."

"Naguguluhan parin ako."

"Destiny is a choice, coincidence is by chance. Sometimes, you meet people by chance but staying is a choice that's why when two people end up together, it's called destiny and not coincidence. When both of them die in the end, that's fate. The end. Okay na?."

"Better." I said smiling.

EOFB

"Oh?. Nakatunganga ka dyan?." Sabi ni Diana at tumabi sakin.

"Ano bang iniisip mo?."

"May naalala lang ako."

"Ano naman?."

"Yung difference ng destiny at coincidence."

"Ang tagal na nun ah?."

"Ang tagal na nga, pero hanggang ngayon hindi ko parin alam--"

"Pinaliwanag ko na yung kaibahan sayo dati diba?."

"Hindi yun. Iniisip ko lang kung bakit ba lumalakas ang ihip ng hangin kapag nag-whiwhistle tayo. Thinking that it happens every time, sure ka bang walang kinalaman ang pag whistle natin kung bakit nangyayari yun?."

"Then let's do my breaking down method. Simple question number one. What is wind?."

"Wind is the movement of large amounts of air. "

"What is it made of?."

"Ah molecules of different kinds of gasses, mostly nitrogen and oxygen."

"Why does it move?."

"I don't know."

"What causes things, stuff or molecules to move?."

"Force, motion, energy--I don't know, pressure?."

"Which one is related to temperature?."

"Pressure."

"Again, why does the air move?."

"Through pressure caused by temperature."

"Exactly. On Earth, the main differences in air pressure are caused by differences in temperature. Cool air produces high air pressure and warm air produces low air pressure. Warm air wants to rise. When warm air rises, cool air will move in and replace the warm air, causing wind. For short, walang kinalaman ang pag whistle kung bakit lumalakas ang hangin."

Hahaha.

"Oo na. Ang haba ng explanation mo. Ikaw na magaling sa Physics haha."

"Your fault,you asked eh."

"Diana, bakit di ka nalang nag teacher?."

"Why can't you eat chocolates again?."

"You're changing the topic."

"I'm not. I'm just telling you the answer with a question."

"How is that possible?."

"Answer my question first. Then you'll know."

"Well, I love chocolates but I had too much red blood cells because of it. It's bad for me."

"I love it but I had too much of a bull headed temper. It's bad for everyone."

"Nagdoctor ka pa eh madali ka palang magalit."

"Kids are different from patients. I choose whether I fight with kids or not, but saving lives doesn't choose anyone. Kahit criminal pa yan. Life is a precious gift, you know."

"How did you get all those wisdom?."

"Look around, it's everywhere. You just need to learn how to learn with your heart more than the capacity of your brain to remember."